


Twilight is Rocking Me

by frominsideacomputer



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Airbending & Airbenders, Ambassador Sokka (Avatar), Angst, Awkward Conversations, Ba Sing Se, Baby Bumi, Best Man, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bottom Zuko (Avatar), Break Up, Bumi - Freeform, Childhood Memories, Coming Out, Confused Zuko, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Drunk idiots in love, Earthbending & Earthbenders, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fire Nation (Avatar), Fire Nation Politics (Avatar), Fire Nation Royal Family, Firebending & Firebenders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), I'm not entirely sure where this is going to end, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Kataang - Freeform, Katara - Freeform, Lesbian Mai (Avatar), Let toph beifong say fuck, Letters, Long Form, Love Letters, M/M, Marriage, Oblivious Zuko (Avatar), Over a lifetime, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, POV Zuko (Avatar), Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Post canon, Post-Break Up, Queer Character, Sad Zuko (Avatar), Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Sokka (Avatar) Being An Idiot, Sokka - Freeform, Southern Water Tribe, They Have One Braincell Between Them, This is going to be longer than I thought, Top Sokka (Avatar), Toph Being Awesome, Waterbending & Waterbenders, Wedding, Weddings, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, but I guarantee it'll be nice and emotional, but it's not plot relevant really, i didn’t read the comics so this ignores those, it’s kinda an au kinda not, mailee, non-canon, post-episode: s03e16 sozin’s comet, there's gonna be a v smutty chapter coming soon if you're into that, this is going to be emosh, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 55,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25222057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frominsideacomputer/pseuds/frominsideacomputer
Summary: High up, hidden away in the Fire Nation Palace, a secret romance begins which trips and tumbles and flys its way through life. It’s met with failure and tragedy, distance and time, it falls and it soars.In a story that takes a lifetime to unfold, Zuko and Sokka have to navigate their relationship through some of the most difficult parts of life. It doesn't always work out for them and who knows whether it will have the happy ending they both deserve.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Jin/Suki (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 163





	1. A Palace of Corridors and Secrets

Months had passed since Zuko’s coronation, enough that they merged into a year and then some more. In that time, a lot had stayed the same, but naturally, a lot had also changed. Life in peace was different to life in war, and it took some adjusting to understand how to navigate relationships when there wasn’t danger surrounding it.  
Sokka and Suki made a cute couple for a while, mostly causing trouble, but the adventure began to wear off. Suki wanted to return home to help rebuild, and Sokka wanted to stay, so they decided to end it, but they remained friends.  
Zuko and Mai lasted a bit longer, exuding heavy emo energy wherever they went. But between Zuko’s role as the new Fire Lord, and Mai’s inclination for boredom, their relationship was strained and it ended too, but they also stayed friends.  
If anything, their friendships were stronger than before, and the freedom they now had let them discover more about who they all were. 

Dealing with new responsibilities was hard on all of Team Avatar, but their adventures and heroics in the war had also given them a fame that they didn’t know how to handle. To stay safe, and to stay sane, they all lived in the Fire Nation Palace, not prisoners but the cabin fever was rising, and the amount of them left was small.  
Zuko, Toph, Katara, Aang, and Sokka, were the only ones left, and Toph spent more time causing problems for the Fire Nation and exploring than she did in the palace anymore. So, it was mostly just the four of them. 

Sokka was leaning against a table leg, reading a book he’d found in the palace library about a non-bender’s adventures that he found strangely familiar. Aang was sitting on a sofa, blowing different shapes with air and dust. Katara’s head was resting in his lap, and she was running water between her fingers, as if she were playing the piano.  
“Urghhhhhhhhh.” Zuko groaned, returning from yet another mind-numbing council meeting about the minutiae of the Fire Nation. He pulled off his outer robe and collapsed into a chair. “I swear, if I have to listen to someone talk about repaving roads or the best material for the palace curtains, I might start another war.”  
“That bad, huh?” Katara asked, playing with a ball of water.  
“I’m too young to be caring about this stuff.”  
“Then tell them, let them sort it out and only ask you for important things.” Sokka suggested, not looking up from his book.  
“But I have a duty to my people, and it’s my honour-”  
“Sokka, you owe me a silver piece.” Aang interrupted, now they were friends with Zuko, they mocked him incessantly, especially Sokka.  
Zuko continued without blinking, “-it’s my privilege to help them, especially after all the atrocities of the war. But, oh my spirits, it’s so duuuuuuuull.”  
The four of them sat together in the quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s company, until Aang and Katara left to go out to dinner for a date. Zuko and Sokka were alone in the room for a moment until the place was swarmed with palace staff offering food, cleaning, new clothes, anything. It was like they waited until Aang had left until they bothered them. There was a time when they enjoyed being waited on hand and foot, but the novelty had passed and now it was just annoying. They just wanted to be left in peace.  
“Please, leave us.” Zuko barked, there was a balance between being a benevolent leader and not being pissed off all the time. Most of the servants shuffled out of room, just a few eager ones staying, sweeping around Sokka and dusting above Zuko’s head.  
He was reading a letter from Mai, who was travelling the world, exploring the nations damaged by the war. In the letter, she wrote about how she saw people trying to rebuild their homes, it had been sometime since the war had ended but the damage was almost infinite. She decided to help them out, it wasn’t her ultimate purpose, she wrote, but it would be for a time.  
Between paragraphs, Zuko caught himself stealing glances at Sokka, staring at the light shining on his face, illuminating his cheekbones; watching him blow strands of stray hair out of the way while he read; peeking at his fingers which were flicking through the pages. It was like a subconscious movement, he wasn’t thinking about doing it, but he wasn’t trying to stop himself. When a cleaner accidentally hit his foot with a broom, he was pulled out of the trance. The man apologised profusely, but Zuko just ordered them to leave.  
“Zuko,” Sokka looked up from his novel, sighing heavily. “It’s great we get to stay here, but I feel like I have a constant gaggle of staff behind me all the time. I’m not one to turn down not having to lift a finger but this is ridiculous. Is there anywhere that we can go without having a shadow with a broom?”  
The young fire lord paused for a moment, mentally walking through the palace, imagining the balconies, the window seats, the courtyards, and the hidden staircases scattered around the palace. “There might be somewhere, but I don’t know how easy it is to get to. Come on.” 

Zuko led Sokka through dark corridors of the palace. They’d tried to lighten it up a bit, by tearing down the banners and flags, by opening shutters and adding more lamps but by nature it was a shadowy building.  
“If you’re taking me to a creepy dungeon to murder me, at least let me get my boomerang.” Sokka looked around suspiciously.  
“If I was going to kill you, I wouldn’t do it in my own home, bloodstains are hard to get out.”  
They entered an empty box room; it was so dark that Zuko lit a handful of fire to see where they were. He pushed a dusty curtain aside, making Sokka sneeze, and revealed a staircase that had a definite haunted house energy.  
Sokka followed Zuko up the stairs, each one creaking ominously at they climbed. At the top, there was a heavy locked door, Zuko tried to melt the lock but it seemed resistant to the heat.  
“Move.” Sokka pushed past him and crouched before the lock. The space was so small that Zuko was pressed against the wall, he could feel the warmth of Sokka’s body, and it brought a feeling in his stomach that he didn’t understand. 

The door clicked open and Sokka stood up smugly.  
“Where did you learn how to pick a lock?” Zuko asked, pushing the handle down and leaning on the door, but it was stuck.  
“Mai and Suki taught me.” He grinned widely and pushed the door with Zuko. It eventually shifted and opened out onto a small, empty balcony right at the top of the palace.  
The view was incredible, especially as the sunset glowed. They could see the whole city, from the mountains around the edges to the houses and shops in the centre.  
Sokka leaned over the railing, feeling the wind around him and listening to the sounds of the Fire Nation capital. Zuko leaned against the wall, watching Sokka in his wonder of this tiny patch of peace. He noticed how the orange sunset made Sokka’s warm brown skin glow, like the sunlight through leaves in the autumn.  
“Zuko, what is this place?” Sokka turned around and Zuko averted his gaze.  
“I found it when I was a kid, running along the roofs, away from Azula’s constant torments. There used to be window here, but I asked my mother to have a staircase built so my sister couldn’t find me. It’s a lot smaller than I remember.” He shrugged and sat down, one leg hanging over the edge between the rail. Sokka sat down next to him, almost sitting on his lap because there was so little space. They relished the moment of calm. 

“I’ve just realised, I left my book downstairs.” Sokka exclaimed, moving to stand up.  
Without thinking, Zuko blurted out “We could just talk.” His cheeks blushing pink, but the dusky glow hid it well.  
“Talk? You mean about … things?” Sokka sat back down, facing Zuko this time.  
Zuko tried desperately to cover his tracks, even though he wasn’t completely sure why he’d said it anyway. “We live in the same palace, spend most days around each other at some point, but I can’t remember the last time we actually had a conversation.”  
Sokka paused, trying to think of an example. “We talked two days ago?”  
“I don’t mean arguments about whether it’s a good idea to give Momo cactus juice.” Sighed Zuko, rolling his eyes. “Like a proper conversation.”  
“Ummm, okay?” Confusion was written across his face, but Sokka continued. “So, what’s been going on with you, who was that letter from?”  
“I’m alright, it was from Mai, she was saying how she’s enjoying travelling and helping people whose homes were damaged in the war.” When Zuko mentioned her name, he could have sworn he saw a flash of disappointment on Sokka’s face, but perhaps it was just the shadow from the setting sun.  
“Are you, like, back together?” Sokka’s voice was quiet, almost nervous, like he didn’t want to know the answer.  
“Oh, no, of course not. That didn’t work out in the end.” Zuko replied, slightly sadly because he had enjoyed dating Mai, but he also didn’t feel like he missed being in a relationship. He liked spending like with Sokka, it was chill and easy to enjoy himself. “How’s Suki?”  
“Yeah, she’s good. Haven’t heard from her in a while, but I assume she’s alright.” He looked down, avoiding eye contact. “You wanted to stay up here and talk, but can we maybe not talk about ex-girlfriends?”  
Zuko was surprised at Sokka’s discomfort at the topic, it wasn’t like the breakup was a sensitive topic, but he moved on anyway. “You know, sometimes I’m still surprised that you trusted me so quickly when I came to the Western Air Temple after the eclipse.”  
“You saved our lives, and you were willing to help me break my father out of a maximum-security prison, risking your life in the process. That showed me how you really had changed. Maybe I didn’t trust you to begin with, but I understood that you were on our side.” A small smile appeared on Sokka’s face as he explained. Zuko thought it was cute.

They stayed on the ledge for a while longer, drifting between talking and silence, until the sun had completely set, and the moon was climbing her way up the sky. The white light put a monochrome filter over the city, interrupted only by torches burning orange. It cast a prominent shadow on Sokka, who was staring longingly up at the moon.  
“You must miss her.”  
“Who, Yue? Yeah, I do, we never spent enough time together and then she gave her life to the moon.”  
Without missing a beat, Zuko replied “That’s rough, buddy.” The look that Sokka gave him could have frozen the lake around the Boiling Rock it was so icy.  
Zuko sighed and stood up. “It’s late, and I have a day of council meetings tomorrow.” He held out his hand and pulled Sokka up, but he lost his balance and fell into Zuko, grabbing his arm.  
Zuko could feel Sokka’s breath on his skin, they were millimetres apart for a second, and the tension was tangible.  
“Sorry.” Sokka said, standing up properly and pulling the door open, shuffling away with embarrassment. He went downstairs first, Zuko following behind.  
“I... this was fun, I like hanging out and I might come up here again in the evenings to relax. You can, erm, join me if you want.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as they walked along the dark corridors. He wasn’t entirely sure why he liked Sokka’s company so much, but that didn’t matter.  
“I’ll probably get lost on the way here, but sure, we can hang out.” In the darkness, Sokka wouldn’t have been able to see Zuko’s huge grin. 

They walked along the corridors until they reached Sokka’s room.  
“So, I guess, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Sokka said, the flickering lamp on the wall lighting his face up.  
“Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Zuko turned away and walked towards his own bedroom, which was a twisted corridor away. He was just about the reach the corner when a voice called out.  
“By the way, it is okay.”  
Zuko turned to see Sokka leaning around the door. “It is okay to do what?”  
Smirking, Sokka replied “Give Momo cactus juice.”  
“Goodnight, Sokka.” A soft smile curved on Zuko’s face as he turned away. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was an enjoyable calm to spending time with Sokka. 

Lying in bed, Zuko was drifting off to sleep, dreams beginning to form in his head, like a first draft of a story as it starts to take shape. It was a story of Sokka and him, spending more time alone together, travelling the world, going out to dinner, sleeping togeth-  
Zuko sat upright, his hair flopping around his face and his heart pounding. The realisation hit him like Toph earth bending.  
“Oh.”


	2. The Power You Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko makes an important and considered political decision, and a more important but impulsive emotional one

In the morning, Zuko woke up early. The sun has barely risen, and a dawn glow was tumbling in through the window.  
At first, his mind was as misty as the weather outside, but it cleared, and he remembered his realisation from the night before. He lay awake, thinking about it. The more he stirred it around in his head, the more it became clear that his feelings had been around for a long time. He just hadn’t noticed because he’d been deprived of connections like that for most of his life, so he didn’t notice the increasing attraction. He remembered all the subtle glances, the hand touches, the times he’d deliberately sat next to Sokka, subconsciously wanting to be near him. His thoughts and his feelings worried him, he didn’t know whether to tell anyone how he felt, and he knew that the chance of his attraction being reciprocated was almost zero. He recognised that he probably had to get over it quickly, before it consumed him. 

Sitting in yet another mind-numbing council meeting, Zuko couldn’t help but daydream about Sokka. From the first time they’d met in the South Pole, when his head was fuelled by the desire to capture Aang, to when they’d gone to the Boiling Rock to rescue Suki and Hakoda, to their travels and work over the last few years since his coronation, helping the people hurt by the war. Zuko was also thinking about how Sokka had given him some of the most valuable advice he’d ever heard, not that Aang or his Uncle didn’t have their own suggestions, but Sokka seemed to understand in a deeper way. 

After Zuko’s crowning, the palace staff, the council members, and a lot of the Fire Nation were still scared of him. Not only had they been terrified of his father, but Zuko’s reputation of being a short-tempered liability was embedded in the Fire Nation. He didn’t know how to deal with it for a long time. The staff would apologise for anything slightly out of place, and hurry terrified out of the room when he would enter. The council daren’t contradict him in meetings, the legacy of that Agni Kai was something all of them felt, and they were worried he was going to be like his father. Fire Nation citizens would scurry into their homes when he’d walk past, or gush with praise to try not to upset him.  
He knew they weren’t ever doing it maliciously, but their actions still really hurt him. First, he’d asked Iroh what to do, who suggested to just ask them directly, to understand what the problem was. This didn’t go so well when no one could look him in the eye. Then he had asked Aang, who suggested doing something nice for them, helping them, but everyone was just suspicious of the gesture. Finally, he’d turned to Sokka for help. This advice was what made a real difference. Sokka had said to try with smaller gestures: asking councillors what they believed was best before he’d said anything; going to the palace kitchens once a week to talk to the staff (who had initially fallen silent whenever they saw him); asking if he could help look after the animals that lived in the palace grounds. Eventually, the staff stopped scurrying around the palace, the kitchen staff let him brew his own tea, the council were happy to oppose his ideas if they weren’t feasible – after all, he was just a kid with little experience – and the people of the Fire Nation saw him as the man he hoped he really was, and not at all like his father. 

“My lord?” Zuko’s daydreams about Sokka were interrupted by one of the ministers.  
“Sorry, Councilman Lee, do go on.” He pretended like he’d been listening but honestly, he wasn’t sure he’d heard a word since they’d sat down.  
“I was saying that perhaps we should reallocate some of the funds from the culture sector to city improvement.”  
Zuko sighed, “Take some funds from the palace renovation budget, I can live without new tapestries every week. The arts are too important to strip funds from.” He was too young to know what the exact budget for the Fire Nation was, but it was important work.  
“Very good, my lord. Ff you’ll allow me sir; I would like to be frank.” Zuko nodded for him to continue. “You seem distracted today, and I feel perhaps we could reconvene later, when you are more focussed, sir.” There was an audible gasp from a couple of the other ministers at Lee’s forwardness.  
Zuko smiled. “I understand councilman, but I do not think postponing this meeting is going to help. I have been thinking, I trust the 6 of you to make decisions regarding the day to day running of our Nation, I do not need to be present for all of these meetings. This is not going to become a Ba Sing Se situation, mind you, we will meet twice a week, so I can keep up to date and sign off on any major changes. I do not make this decision lightly, and if it seems I need to step back in, I will not hesitate to do so. We will continue as normal until the end of this week, so we can agree on how to proceed in the following weeks.” He’d been practising his announcement in front of the mirror all morning.  
One of the other councillors spoke up “My lord, I believe I speak for all the councillors that we greatly appreciate how much faith you have in us, and we will try to act as we believe you would. Over these past months, we have seen that you are a different man to your father, and I respect your decision.”  
“Thank you Minister Azora, I appreciate that. I hope you all share her sentiments.” The other councillors nodded in agreement, and Zuko was happy that he wouldn’t have to spend much more time signing bills about transport to the colonies. 

After the meeting finished, Zuko walked back to the palace, a slight spring in his step from how well his decision to step back from some of his duties had gone. He reached home and headed straight for the courtyard and the turtleduck pond. It was a gorgeously sunny day and the light was sparkling on the water rippling from the dropping petals of the tree above. He took his boots off and rolled up his trousers, swinging his feet into the water.  
There was a pleasant silence in the courtyard, just the sounds of the turtleducks quacking and wind rustling through the trees. In the quiet, he tried desperately not to think about Sokka, worrying that it would only make it harder to get over, but as is the way when your heart has made a decision, it is very hard to ignore it. He felt like a teenage girl obsessing over a crush. He smiled to himself when the idea of S+Z 4 EVA popped into his head and the idea of writing it all over pieces of paper made him laugh out loud.  
“What’s so funny?” Zuko jumped when he heard Sokka’s voice behind him.  
“Don’t scare me like that, I nearly fire bended at you.” Zuko sighed as Sokka sat down next to him.  
“Aren’t you supposed to be trained in stealth and stuff? You’d make a pretty bad ninja.” Sokka elbowed Zuko which sent his heart racing. Spirits, he hated having a crush on someone.  
“I don’t have to be on guard all the time. Besides, you crept up on me.”  
“Let’s not get distracted with whose fault it was, how was the council meeting?”  
“Actually, quite productive. I told them that I’m going to be stepping back from some Fire Lord duties, so I’ll have more time free to hang out and things.” He tried not to sound like he wanted to spend all his time with Sokka, but in all honestly, he really did.  
“That’s so good, as long as it doesn’t become like old Ba Sing Se and you are some strange figurehead being manipulated by the councillors.”  
“That’s exactly what I said against in the meeting!”  
“Hey you guys!” Katara appeared behind them with Toph, who no one of them had seen in about four days.  
“Toph! Where the hell have you been?” Sokka exclaimed as the two girls sat down either side of the boys.  
“You know, here and there.”  
“You wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the statue of Appa that’s appeared downtown, would you?” Zuko asked suspiciously, it had been brought up a few days ago in a meeting.  
“I can neither confirm nor deny any involvement.” Toph crossed her arms stubbornly, mumbling something about a freedom of speech and artistic licence.  
“I wonder what a statue of a handsome, muscular, warrior from the water tribe would look like...” Sokka was clearly imagining how a twelve-foot version of himself would look and Zuko was day-dreaming a bit about it too. 

The four of them spent the rest of the evening together, joined later by Aang who’d spent the day teaching Air Nomad history in the Fire Nation schools. After dinner, they were all hanging out, playing with their elements. Toph was spinning metal around her hands, Katara was flowing water in and out of a teapot, Aang was teasing Momo by blowing air at his face, and Zuko was practising making sparks by clicking his fingers (it was fun, and he thought it was a bit sexy). But out the corner of his eye, he saw Sokka looking melancholy in the corner, just twiddling his boomerang between his fingers. Zuko realised that sometimes he took his ability for granted, and that not everyone could do what they all could. 

Sometimes when they were all together, the group of them were an unstoppable force of chaos and fun, but they’d all been through so much together that a moment of quiet was much needed. The evening was drawing out and stretching into night and the shadows stretched through the room.  
“I’m going outside for a bit.” Sokka stood up and left the room quite abruptly.  
Once he had gone, Aang looked at Katara and Zuko awkwardly, “Is he alright? He’s been quieter than normal.”  
“He’ll be fine.” Katara dismissed, but Zuko wasn’t so sure. He stayed for a moment, but then left to go and find Sokka. He knew exactly where he’d be. 

“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Zuko pushed the heavy door open and found Sokka sitting on the edge of the rooftop, leaning against the wall.  
“No, I’m… it’s fine.” Sokka turned, the setting sun once again illuminating his face in a wonderful amber. Zuko sat down next to him, right now all he wanted was for Sokka to be alright, his care for his friend surpassed his crush.  
“Are you alright? What’s wrong?”  
Sokka sighed heavily, rubbing his hands together nervously. “Sometimes… it’s just… all of you guys are the most powerful benders the world has ever seen… Katara’s the last water bender from our tribe and has so much power, Toph literally invented metal bending, Aang’s the actual Avatar, and you’re… well… you’re you. I don’t know, sometimes I feel a bit… inadequate around you guys, I’m not a bender, at best I’m the wise-cracking sidekick. I shouldn’t but, I don’t know, I just…” He trailed off, not looking at Zuko.  
It seemed to physically hurt Zuko hearing Sokka talk about himself like that. He was so much more than he believed he was. Zuko swallowed and put a hand on Sokka’s shoulder.  
“I can’t say I understand very well, but I know what it’s like not feeling as good as the people around you. I spent most of my life until recently being second best to my sister, but I had to learn I was just as good in different ways. You’re…” He swallowed again as Sokka turned to face him. “You’re one of the most intelligent people I know, you have a way of making connections between things that no one else would think of. I’ve never seen anything like it, without your tactical genius, I still don’t think the war would have ended like it did. You have a way of captivating people with your stories and I’ve never seen anyone be able to get people to do what they want without threats quite like you.” Zuko continued gushing about Sokka. “I haven’t even started on how good you are in combat, honestly, if I couldn’t firebend I would be scared to fight you. You’re an amazing friend and I wish you didn’t feel so bad about yourself. Bending isn’t everything.”  
Maybe it was the flickering lights of the city below, but Zuko could have sworn he saw tears in Sokka’s eyes.  
“Zuko, I… do you really mean all of that?”  
“Of course, I do.”  
Sokka didn’t reply and stared out into the increasing darkness. They stayed sitting there for a while, and it got later and later. Zuko yawned and shivered when a cold breeze wafted over them. He grew a small fire in his hand to warm himself up, which flickered shadow and light over their faces. It burned for a few minutes before he put it out, feeling bad about bending in front of Sokka after what he’d just said, but when he turned to the other boy, he noticed that Sokka was drifting between sleep and consciousness.  
Sokka mumbled something that the young fire lord didn’t hear properly but then he felt a weight on his shoulder and Sokka was falling asleep with his head on Zuko. Sokka mumbled something again, but he was fast asleep by the time Zuko went to ask him. 

Zuko daren’t move, for fear that Sokka would wake up and he’d ruin this moment. He felt Sokka’s breathing and heartbeat, feeling the repetitive sensation of both which was oddly calming. Zuko couldn’t quite believe that it was really happening, so he tried to savour the moment for as long as it lasted. He tried to commit every part of it to memory, unsure that it would ever happen again.  
But it was nearly midnight, and Zuko was tired too. As much as he tried to stay awake, his eyes were closing slowly. He felt powerless to stop consciousness fall away from under him. 

Zuko woke before Sokka, it couldn’t have been much later because the moon was still high in the sky. They were both leaning against the wall, resting on one another. Zuko’s hand was inches away from Sokka’s, close enough to hold but he knew he couldn’t.  
Moments later, Sokka woke up with a start, confused about where he was. “What the-!” He looked around, panicked until he saw Zuko and where they were. Zuko smiled softly, trying to reassure Sokka that he was fine, but as Sokka took in the situation, he practically sprinted off the roof and down the stairs. Zuko followed him, sick to the stomach with worry that he’d done something wrong and this was all just a mistake.  
“Sokka, wait!” Zuko called out, but Sokka’s bedroom door was slammed in his face. He swallowed a lump in his throat and solemnly went to his own room, sliding down the door and onto the floor in an emotional heap.


	3. Kindness Overwhelms Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Zuko asks for advice, he gets a lot more than he bargained for

Zuko didn’t see Sokka for days after he’d run off the rooftop and into his room. He was so worried that he’d completely ruined their friendship that he tried to stay busy with Fire Nation responsibilities, but because he’d chosen to take a step back from it, he kept finding himself alone and spiralling down an anxiety hole. He should have woken Sokka up sooner, or stayed awake himself, or not shown him that spot on the roof at all. He shouldn’t have followed him after he left, he should have given him space, he shouldn’t have gushed so much about Sokka, he should have never lied to himself about why he was really trying to spend so much time with him. He was stupid for thinking that Sokka would ever have felt the same way, what fantasy world was he living in that things would actually work out for him?

“Zuko, have you seen Sokka?” Aang stuck his head around Zuko’s bedroom door, Momo perched on his shoulder.  
“No, why?” Zuko didn’t look up from his book.  
“I want to learn how to use a boomerang.” Aang explained, a cheeky smile on his face. Zuko tried to roll his eyes but only one of them actually could.  
“No, I haven’t seen him in a few days actually.”  
“Oh! Is everything alright? You didn’t betray him to the Fire Nation again, did you?”  
Zuko smirked and shook his head. He was about to say something when Aang was distracted by something in the corridor.  
“Sokka! Just the man I was looking for!” Aang let go of the door and it swung open; Zuko saw Sokka, and Sokka saw Zuko. They made intense eye contact for a moment and the world seemed to stand still. Aang didn’t seem to notice. “Will you teach me how to use a boomerang? I reckon I’d be quite good at it.”  
Sokka broke the eye contact and looked at Aang. “Sure, let’s find a large open space because I’m not sure how airbending and boomerangs will mix.”  
“Great! Bye Zuko!” Aang dashed down the corridor, and Sokka and Zuko were left with one final moment. Zuko opened his mouth to say something but Sokka had already run after Aang.

Zuko was once again left alone in his room, replaying Sokka’s glare over and over in his head. The more he thought about it, the more he increased the anger in the expression. By the end, he’d managed decide that Sokka really hated him for what had happened. In a flurry of emotions, he threw a ball of fire across the room, but his heart wasn’t in it and it disintegrated in mid-air. Something about the lack of impact made him feel weak and useless. He curled up in a ball on his bed, sobbing gently. Zuko felt sick in his stomach, he tried to tell himself that he was used to people leaving him and looking at him like that, but, honestly, it had been so long since those days that it was all too much, especially from one of his best friends.  
He thought about asking his uncle for advice, but he wasn’t sure a tea metaphor was what he needed. He couldn’t ask Toph because she’d be able to tell what he was lying about. Aang might have given good advice, but he was out with Sokka and they might have talked about it, so he decided to find Katara and ask her.  
When Zuko eventually found Katara, she was helping heal wounds in one of the healing shops they had set up after the war had ended. War wounds were a thing of the past, but children hurting themselves was a timeless occurrence and Katara helped where she could.  
“Hey Zuko! Just give me a minute, okay?” She was flowing the water over a little girl’s arm which was hanging at a very unnatural angle. Despite being an actual war veteran, Zuko gagged, but as he watched, the arm shifted back into its place. The girl’s tense expression lessened, and she smiled at Katara. From the back of the hut, an older woman emerged with the owner, upon seeing the fire lord – who was not in his official robes and was looking a bit like a baby turtle duck – they both bowed deeply. He gestured for both of them to continue as normal.  
“Ekuni, darling, how is your arm?” The woman crouched down next to her daughter, stroking her hair.  
“It doesn’t hurt anymore!” She squealed, stretching it out.  
“You have to be more careful!” Katara said, handing the girl a biscuit for being so brave. “No more pretending to have your own coronation at the top of the stairs while wearing your mother’s curtains.” Zuko tried to supress laughter, he knew Azula used to do exactly the same thing when she was little.  
“Thank you so much, Lady Katara.” The woman said, carrying her daughter out of the shop. My lord.” As they passed Zuko, the girl grabbed a handful of Zuko’s hair and pulled it hard, his head was yanked sideways. Katara burst into a fit of giggles. He saw fear build on the mother’s face, terrified of how he’d react. But she needn’t have worried.  
“Hey, Ekuni? Do you think you’d be able to let go of my hair? It’s very important to me, and I need it.” His voice was soft and reassuring, Katara watched with a smile on her face as he interacted with the toddler. The little girl reluctantly let go. “Thank you.” The mother’s face soften, and they left.

“Katara, do you have a moment? I need some advice.”  
“Um, sure, will you be alright for the rest of the day?” She asked the owner who nodded and bowed at them both. The two of them left, walking to The Oolong Lake – the Fire Nation capital branch of the Jasmine Dragon.  
“Lady Katara?” Zuko asked, remembering what the girl’s mother had said to her.  
Katara sighed, laughing softly. “It keeps happening, I think your citizens think I’m more important than I actually am.”  
“You are important!” They found a table at the back of the shop, Zuko hidden from public view so he wouldn’t be bothered.  
“Yeah, but it’s not like I have any power or anything here. We’re just some houseguests who’ve never left.” She laughed, sipping her tea.  
“You’re more than houseguests, you’re practically part of the furniture now.”  
“So, what’s going on? What’s up?”  
Zuko swallowed a mouthful of tea. “Um… So… Imagine you’re friends with someone, and you realise, hypothetically, that you like them in a different way and you don’t know how they feel about you, hypothetically, but then something happens that makes you feel like they maybe like you back, hypothetically, but then they keep avoiding you and you, hypothetically, think they hate you. What do you do, hypothetically, of course?” He avoided looking at her and stared into the tea swirling in the cup.  
She breathed out steam into the shape of a fish. ““So, in this hypothetical scenario, did they say why they were avoiding you-I mean this person who’s definitely not you?”  
“No, they haven’t said a word to this other person in like four days.”  
She was silent for a moment, just thinking about who it could be that Zuko had a crush on, but her mind drew a blank. “I think that definitely-not-you should perhaps confront this hypothetical person. Ask them what hypothetically happened and why they’re avoiding not-you. It can’t hypothetically hurt.”  
“Thanks, Katara.” Zuko mulled over her advice, but also hoping she’d not make any connections or that Sokka would tell her what had happened.  
“So, are you going to tell me about the lucky girl?” She enquired.  
“Maybe another time.”  
They chatted and finished their tea, walking back to the palace together, but avoiding main roads so Zuko wouldn’t attract any attention. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his position and his people but some days it all became a bit overwhelming.

Aang and Sokka were in the gardens when Zuko and Katara returned to the palace. Sokka was throwing the boomerang for Momo to catch in mid-air and Aang was trying to boil water in his hands by waterbending and firebending at the same time.  
“Where have you two been?” Aang asked, dropping water all over the grass.  
“We went to have tea.” Zuko answered quickly, glancing at Sokka who completely ignored them and was feeding Momo some berries.  
“I’ve not got any competition to be worried about?” Aang glided over to them and kissed Katara softly on the cheek.  
“Oh, I think Zuko’s otherwise engaged in that area.” Katara teased. Zuko glanced again at Sokka who seemed to suddenly start listening to their conversation.  
“Oooooooh what’s her name?!” Aang asked, giggling.  
Zuko faltered, unable to think of any response.  
“Oh, don’t tease him.” Katara said, sitting down on the grass. “Sokka, you’ve been strangely quiet, I want to hear how teaching Aang to boomerang went.”  
Sokka walked over to them, not looking at Zuko at all. “I think there’s a series of wooden ones which are going to come back in three years after they’ve circumnavigated the globe. But he’s pretty good at it, no birds were harmed in the process and I think only one tree suffered serious damage.” Sokka sat down with them, playing with Momo to avoid eye contact with Zuko. It made Zuko feel sick to his stomach with guilt and regret for what had happened. He tried to push through it and ignore the feeling but Sokka continually and subtly avoiding him just made him feel worse.  
“I’ve got some council things to sort out, I’ll see you later.” Zuko stood up, brushing grass off his robes.  
“I thought it was your day off?” Aang asked.  
“Responsibility doesn’t take a day off.” He said, leaving in a hurry.

Once he was inside and out of sight of the others, Zuko leaned heavily against a wall, breathing deeply. He felt his heart begin to race, and his breathing become quicker and shallower. The room started spinning and the world seemed to shrink around him. He grabbed the wall and tried to steady himself, but the panic attack had already consumed him, and he dropped to the floor. The guilt was growing in his throat and he retched, about to be sick. He tried to clear his head, trying to remember the technique that Mai had shown him to help with the attacks, but it was no use, it had become too overwhelming and he was curled up in a ball on the floor, trying desperately to bring himself back to consciousness. His breaths were laboured and raspy, his heartbeat was panicked and fast, his stomach was churning, and he had tears in his eyes. It was engulfing and he felt like he was drowning. Zuko was powerless to stop it, and it felt like hours passing.  
Suddenly, something interrupted the panic attack. He felt a hand gently shaking his shoulder and it brought him slightly around.  
“Zuko? Zuko, are you alright?” Sokka’s voice seemed distant, like it was on the other side of a wall. “Zuko, hey, hey, listen to my voice. You’re alright, you’re safe, try to feel where you are. Feel the floor and my hand.” As Sokka spoke, Zuko felt his heartbeat slow and his breathing deepen. “There we go, you’re okay. Breathe in… and out…”  
Zuko relaxed, the world was coming back into focus and he opened his eyes, seeing Sokka’s worried face through the tears in his eyes.  
“Hey there.” Sokka smiled, crouched in front of Zuko.  
“Oh tui and la, I’m so embarrassed.”  
“Don’t be, there’s nothing wrong with this. It happens to more people than you think.” Sokka stood up and held out a hand to Zuko. He took it and pulled himself up slowly, holding the wall for support. They walked to Zuko’s room and sat down on the bed.  
“Oh, I’m so tired.” Zuko dropped his head into his hands and sighed deeply. “Wait,” He sat up and looked at Sokka. “Weren’t you avoiding me?”  
This time Sokka’s head fell into his hands. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I was just confused, after what happened on the roof, I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”  
“What do you mean? You didn’t know what to do?” Zuko was confused, he didn’t understand what Sokka meant.  
Sokka paused, tasting and trying the words in his mouth like he wasn’t sure what they meant. “Zuko I…” He swallowed. “I really like you Zuko, but…”  
Zuko felt like he knew what was coming, that Sokka was going to say he only liked him as a friend and that he would never feel the same way.  
“…but you’ll never feel the same way. After I woke up on the roof, I was terrified that you’d hate me for being that close to you, for falling asleep on you. I thought you’d want nothing to do with me, so I avoided you.”  
Sokka’s words span round Zuko’s mind, he was trying to wrap his head around the fact that Sokka felt the same way about him.  
“Wait, you mean...?” He stammered, the words tumbling out of his mouth. “Oh my spirits, I… it’s…not like that at all. I was scared you were avoiding me because you didn’t feel the same way I felt. I… Sokka-”  
But before Zuko could finish, he felt Sokka’s lips on his. He felt their warmth and the softness of Sokka’s breath against his skin. It was a moment of passion and impulsivity, but it was too overwhelming for Zuko and he pulled back, looking away from Sokka. He couldn’t explain why but he wasn’t quite comfortable with it yet.  
The expression on Sokka’s face was growing with anxiety. He reeled back from Zuko in fear, terrified that he’d completely misread the situation. “Zuko, I’m sorry, that’s not at all what you meant. I’m just gonna…” Sokka stood up to leave, his cheeks redder than the Fire Nation flag.  
Zuko grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Wait,” He choked on his words, unsure what he was going to say next. “No… you’re wrong… I do… Sokka… I feel the same… but…”  
“But what?” Sokka’s voice was soft, like his fingers which were gently stroking the back of Zuko’s hands.  
“It’s all very new, I only realised how much I liked you, how I felt about you a few days ago. I’m not sure yet, I’m scared Sokka, I’m really scared.” Tears brimmed in his eyes and he almost pulled away, but there was something about the feel of Sokka’s hands in his that made him feel safe.  
“I understand, we’ve got all the time in the world.” Sokka said.  
“Thank you. I guess we should go back to Katara and Aang now, they’ll be getting suspicious.” Zuko started to get up from the bed, but Sokka stopped him.  
“They’re too distracted by each other, we can go whenever you’re ready, there’s no need to rush.” Sokka might have just been talking about that moment, but it felt like he was explaining the whole situation and Zuko felt so happy that Sokka really understood. That he was giving him the space he needed, but that he wasn’t trying to turn Zuko into something he wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The description of Zuko's panic attack is based on perso experience and I know not everyone will have them/experience them like this but I can only write what I know


	4. The Storm We Created

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko has some official duties and gets a nice confidence boost

Zuko and Sokka spent a lot of time together in the following weeks. They were learning their way around a new kind of friendship; it was more intimate and more personal than before, but it wasn’t too much. They weren’t a couple yet, they weren’t in a relationship, but they had certainly become best friends.  
Zuko found himself going to bed happy after hanging out with Sokka in the palace, or after going out for food together, or when they’d spent the evening with Aang and Katara (and sometimes Toph), because he didn’t feel like he had to make so much of an effort or to hide part of himself. He was, of course, hiding something, but because he knew Sokka was too, it didn’t feel as difficult. They had new kind of connection, which was unparalleled by anything they’d ever experienced before, even after everything they’d been through.

In this newfound friendship, they learnt a lot about each other than they would have done otherwise.

_“I can’t believe you were the Blue Spirit!”_  
_“Why is that so shocking to you?”_  
_“I knew you had good in you sooner!”_  
_“No, you didn’t!”_  
_“No, but it’s nice to pretend.”_

_“You trained with Piandao! Imagine if we’d been there at the same time.”_  
_“You were probably holding a sword before you could walk though.”_  
_“I know but it’s the principle.”_  
_“He figured out we weren’t Fire Nation immediately and then gave me a White Lotus tile. I don’t know how we were so stupid.”_  
_“You’re an idiot sometimes, you know that?”_

_“I had no idea you said that to your father! I’m surprised he didn’t kill you.”_  
_“I think I ran out of the room as fast I could.”_  
_“But still, that’s incredible.”_

_“Deciding between Aang and finding your father must have been hard.”_  
_“It was, especially when you tracked us, and we had to change our plans.”_  
_“Sorry, again…_ ”

The weeks ticked by and life changed around them. The two-year anniversary of Zuko’s coronation was one day away, which meant the “official” anniversary of the end of the War was also one day away. While the conflict might have ended earlier, it had been officially decided that the date of the war ending was the same as his coronation because it signalled the start of a new age and a time of peace for the Fire Nation.  
It was an important day for Zuko, he had to make speech and talk about what had changed in two years. But it was also important for Aang, Katara, and Sokka. Aang was also supposed to make a speech, and there was an expectation for the water tribe siblings to talk as well. They didn’t really want to; they didn’t want to talk about how they were on the victorious side of the war. Talking to the citizens of the Fire Nation felt vindictive and mean.

Zuko and Sokka were sitting in their favourite and private spot on the palace roof. No one else had found it, and they hoped no one ever would. Zuko was leaning against the wall, his legs hanging over the edge, while Sokka lay on his back, hands behind his head, also swinging his legs over the edge. They were sat close together, just about able to feel each other’s presence but not quite touching, not yet.  
“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” Sokka asked, staring up at the clouds above them.  
“I’ve got my speech written, it’s just a day of ceremony and regalia. I don’t really like it.” Zuko sighed. He really didn’t like the hierarchy and status that was put upon him at official events, it was all a bit too much.  
“I think it means a lot more to people than you think it does. Remember for a lot of us, it marked the end of a lifetime of fear. We were suddenly not scared of invasion or occupying forces.” Sokka replied, still lying on his back. Sometimes Zuko forgot how much some of the world had been affected, even if it wasn’t directly.  
“Maybe you should do my speech.” Zuko said, only half joking.  
“Councillor Azora already asked me and Katara. We both said no. These aren’t our people, this, no offence, isn’t our home.”  
“None taken, I think.” Zuko scowled and turned to look at Sokka, who had a soft smile on his face. Something about that smile pulled at Zuko’s heart and made him feel butterflies in his stomach.

Suddenly, in an instant, his lips were on Sokka’s. He had leaned down and kissed him with a loving intensity. He felt the warmth of Sokka’s breath and the roughness of his stubble on his skin for a long moment until Sokka pulled back slightly.  
“Are you sure?” He whispered, eyes glinting in the sunlight. Zuko didn’t need to utter an answer, and he just kissed Sokka again, this time with more passion and more feeling than before. Sokka understood and sat up, pushing Zuko back against the wall. It was fiery and caring at the same time. It meant so much to both of them, but it was also a long time in the waiting. Zuko’s arms wrapped around Sokka’s neck, pulling him closer. He wanted to feel his body, to feel his warmth and his energy against his own. And he felt Sokka’s hands on his waist, as if they were holding him steady, keeping him in this instant. The world seemed to spin around them, as if they were the eye of a hurricane, sheltered from the storm that was life around them.

Zuko pulled away a little, staying close enough that their noses were touching, and they could feel each other’s warm breath. Zuko felt lifted, like he was walking on air, like he was flying without Appa.  
“Zuko, I…” Sokka muttered, barely audible even to Zuko.  
“You’re not going to run off this time, are you?” He smiled, his face creasing up and the skin on his burn crinkled like paper.  
“Not this time.” Sokka took Zuko’s hands in his, tracing the lines on his palms and feeling the movement of his muscles under the skin. “I’m staying right here.”  
“Does this mean, we’re like… a couple? Are you my… boyfriend?” Zuko suddenly felt a bit sick, he didn’t know how to explain this to his family and his friends. He looked up at Sokka who seemed equally nervous.  
“I guess, I suppose so, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve ever done this before.” Sokka shrugged and lay back down, but he kept on holding Zuko’s hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.  
“Not that I want to sneak around, but I’d maybe be more comfortable if we didn’t tell anyone for a bit, just until we’ve figured it out.”  
“We don’t have to hide that much; I mean we can still go out together and hang out.” Sokka sounded a little reluctant at first, but his tone changed as he continued. “Actually, I don’t know exactly how I’ll explain that I’m dating the Fire Lord to my dad or the rest of the water tribe. I think it’s a good idea to figure it out without the others knowing. As much as I love my sister, I get the feeling she’ll be a bit too much about it.”  
“You wanna talk sister problems?” Zuko scoffed, raising his eyebrows. ‘I’m sure Azula will be completely fine with this. She’s just so understanding.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.  
“You can give her more credit, she’s changed a bit. I’m less scared that she’s going to kill me when I see her now. She’s like you when you let Appa go and then nearly died from doing one good thing.”  
“Yeah, I suppose- hold on, how do you know about that?”  
“Your uncle told me ages ago, I’ve been waiting to hold it over your head for months.”

Zuko’s speech was moments away, and the final touches were being added to his regalia. Staff were busy around him, adjusting his hair and his crown and his robes and his jewellery. He was surrounded by a whirlwind of people and all the fussing was making him nervous.  
“Can you give me a minute please.” He spoke very levelly to the staff, who all stopped and left quietly. Zuko inhaled heavily, his chest rising and falling as he breathed out. He replayed his speech in his head, tasting the words in his mouth.  
“Hey.” Sokka emerged from behind a curtain, dressed in Water Tribe finery, Zuko thought he looked incredible, feeling his heart skip a beat. “You ready?” Sokka looked around, checking they were alone. He walked over to Zuko and wrapped his arms around his neck. The furs on Sokka’s robes tickled Zuko’s skin and made him shiver.  
“Yeah, I think so. You’re really sure you don’t want to make a speech.” Zuko pouted, he didn’t like having to do it alone.  
Sokka scowled lightly, pressing a kiss into Zuko’s lips to avoid answering. Zuko kissed back, wanting the moment to never end but the sound of Aang, Katara, and Toph approaching made them pull apart abruptly.

They were also dressed in their nation’s formal robes, Aang in yellow and orange for the air nomads; Katara, like Sokka, was in varying shades of blue which had beautiful silver embroidery detail all over; and Toph, who had actually let the palace staff dress her up in rich emerald robes. Zuko wished they could have had an instant portrait of them in that moment. They looked pretty incredible sometimes.  
“Right,” He said, breathing heavily. “Here we go.” Just as he was about to push the curtains aside, he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
“Your crown is wonky.” Sokka adjusted it, looking Zuko directly in the eye. The tension was palpable, but the others were too busy teasing Toph about her lack of shoes under the robes.  
“Right, here we go.” He pushed the curtains aside and the five of them stepped out into the sun. Applause greeted them, Sokka, Katara, Toph and Aang took their seats on the side of the platform, and Zuko stood at the front of the stage. His heart was beating quickly, and he felt sweat on his palms. He looked over to the others, and Sokka’s soft smile reassured him.  
“Citizens of the Fire Nation today marks the two-year anniversary of the end of an era of conflict and violence for our nation, and when a time of peace began. In the last two years, we have achieved a great many things. We have had to accept we have not always been on the right side of history, and I promise you that we are still working to write a history of change and growth…” Zuko’s speech continued, talking about how they wanted to have more connections with the other nations, how they wanted to teach the younger generations about peace and compromise. He finished it to applause, and then it was Aang’s turn. Zuko sat down next to Sokka. He wanted to hold his hand but knew he couldn’t. It hurt not being able to show affection, but the idea of explaining it to everyone scared him more.

The day ended with a spectacular feast in the palace, as well as parties in the streets, which the gang would much rather have been at than a stuffy feast surrounded by old people, having to be incredibly formal.  
Zuko and Sokka were sat at opposite ends of the table, separated by a series of councillors, and Iroh. Throughout the dinner, Zuko kept stealing glances at Sokka, occasionally Sokka would be looking back at him and they would smile cheekily at one another. Between conversations with councillors, Iroh, and Azula – reluctantly she’d come for the meal and to show that most of their family was largely committed to changing – Zuko daydreamed about what things would be like if he and Sokka could be open about their relationship. But it was still new, after all, it had had barely been 24 hours since Zuko had really kissed him. They hadn’t really talked about it, but Zuko felt like they wouldn’t have to.

After the meal, the five of them decided to head down into the city to enjoy themselves properly. Azula declined, firmly protesting that she shouldn’t have to hide who she was to have fun. To hide his scar, Zuko dropped his hair down over his face, looking in the mirror, he was reminded of Mai’s gothic fringe. He changed out of his robes, putting on casual fire nation clothes.  
Aang, Katara, Toph, Zuko, and Sokka joined the festivities, all dressed in fire nation clothes, like those from the days before the invasion. Almost immediately, Aang dragged Katara away to a stall selling Appa-shaped cookies, and Toph disappeared, probably going to cause trouble.  
“I guess it’s just us.” Zuko smiled at Sokka. “How recognisable are we?” He examined his and Sokka’s outfits.  
“I think we’re good.” Sokka replied, brushing his fingers through Zuko’s long hair. He took Zuko’s hand and they walked through the crowd. It felt wonderful being like this in public, even if it wasn’t properly.

Suddenly, Sokka spotted a stand where you could win toy dragons and he dashed ahead, dragging Zuko behind him.  
“Pleaaaaaase let me win you one!” He pleaded to Zuko, who nodded enthusiastically and gave Sokka the money for it. Zuko watched as Sokka threw the balls at the moving targets, hitting it perfectly each time, much to the surprise of the stand owner. Zuko felt a broad smile grow on his face and he laughed loudly as Sokka demanded that he get the largest and fluffiest dragon toy there was. It was moment of pure joy, unadulterated by fear or responsibility.  
“Here!” Sokka handed the toy to Zuko, who looked at it like it was a new-born baby. He’d rarely been given gifts before, and even more rarely had anyone ever won anything for him. He genuinely felt tears welling up in his eyes.  
“I’m gonna name him Jet.” Zuko said.  
“Really?” Came Sokka’s sceptical reply.  
Zuko scrunched up his face, scoffing that Sokka had believed him. “Noooo, I’ll call him Druk.”  
With the dragon under his arm, and Sokka’s hand in his, they explored the parties and stalls together. They danced (Sokka very reluctantly), they laughed (mostly at Sokka’s terrible dancing), they talked (about why Sokka couldn’t dance and Zuko could), and the party tornadoed around them.  
Sokka bought some fried food and some tea, and they sat on the side of a hill escaping the noise and ate their way through the snacks.  
“Why is it that fried dough is delicious in any shape?” Sokka mused, through a mouthful of food. Zuko laughed and lay back on the grass, head resting on the toy dragon. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the world around him. He could hear the music of the party, and the sounds of the crowds, and Sokka’s chewing next to him.  
“Could you maybe, not eat so loudly?” Zuko muttered, eyes still closed.  
“cOUld YoU mAyBE nOt EaT sO lOuDLy?”  
Zuko opened his good eye, looking up at Sokka, who leaned down and pressed a kiss onto Zuko’s lips. Zuko kissed him back, passionately and lovingly. He pulled Sokka closer, it was powerful and impulsive. Sokka’s leg straddled Zuko, and Zuko could feel Sokka’s weight on top of him. He felt Sokka’s hands holding his face as he kissed him, while his own hands held Sokka’s waist. The young fire lord didn’t care about anything else in the world at this moment. All he wanted was to keep on kissing Sokka for the rest of his life and that was it.  
They broke apart for a moment, Sokka inches from Zuko’s face.  
“Mr. Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe,” Zuko whispered. “Will you be my boyfriend?”  
“Mr Fire Lord Zuko of the Fire Nation, your hotness, of course I will.”


	5. The Things We Hold Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret dating? Uh huh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a filler chapter - but it's cute and fluffy

The new couple spent several weeks sneaking around. It was stolen kisses and hand touches under tables, tiptoeing along corridors before dawn, finding secret spots in the city and going out late at night when no one was around. It was lying to their friends and family, making up coherent excuses, whispering to each other, coming up with new things to do and being on edge all the time because they didn’t want to be found out.  
As exciting as it had been at the start, it was getting tiring and boring. It was hard, deceiving their best friends, hiding from the world like they weren’t worthy of it.

They were lying on Zuko’s bed, an obscenely large four-poster with red drapes hanging over the edges. Zuko’s head was resting on Sokka’s chest, feeling it rise and fall with every breath. His arm was draped across Sokka’s stomach, fingers tracing over the fabric of his clothes. Sokka’s arm was gently stroking his back, it was making Zuko feel sleepy and he felt himself about to fall asleep. It was late in the evening and Zuko had spent the day signing official papers.  
“Sokka,” He mumbled, eyes half closed. “I don’t want to hide this anymore.”  
“Are you sure? I know it’s a big thing for you.”  
“Only if you want to as well, I’m happy to wait...” He trailed off, falling asleep comfortably curled into Sokka. It wasn’t long before Sokka had fallen asleep too and the two of them were dreaming peacefully.

“Zuko! Are you in here! Have you seen Sok-!?” They were woken with a start when Katara dashed into the room holding a letter. They didn’t have time to pull apart or make it look like anything it wasn’t. Katara was frozen in the doorway, mouth hanging open in shock.  
“Katara, we can explain-” Sokka began, a detailed lie forming in his head but Zuko stopped him.  
“Maybe, you know, it’s a sign?” Zuko whispered to him, maybe it was what they needed to take the next step.  
Sokka took his hand. “Are you sure?”  
“I am.” He replied, turning back to Katara who was still frozen in the doorway. She managed to form some words in a barely coherent sentence.  
“How…What? When…You…What? She stammered but composed herself eventually. “So, this is new? Are you, like together, or…?”  
“Katara, come here.” Sokka gestured for her to sit on the end of the bed. She obliged and sat opposite the two of them, who had now sat up and moved slightly apart. Zuko’s cheeks were blushing gently and he could feel his embarrassment rising a little.  
“It’s been, what, nearly two months since…?” Sokka feigned uncertainty but Zuko knew that he knew exactly how many days it had been since he’d asked him to be his boyfriend.  
“Two months!” Katara gasped. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”  
“We just wanted to be sure before it turned into a big thing.” Zuko replied, looking to Sokka for reassurance.

They explained in vague detail what had happened and how they’d gotten to where they were now. Katara seemed to understand why they’d done what they did, and she reluctantly agreed to keeping their secret for a bit.  
“Wait, Zuko, this is who you wanted my advice about ages ago? (“Yeah.” He mumbled.”) Well, I guess, I’ll see you guys tomorrow?” She left but forgot the letter she’d come in with. Zuko noticed it and dashed after her.  
“Katara! You forgot this!” He called, catching her in the corridor.  
“Oh.” She took it from him with slight tension. “Zuko, I understand this is all quite new, but I swear if you do anything to hurt my brother, he doesn’t deal well with people leaving him.”  
“Katara,” He interrupted. “He means everything to me; I can promise you that I’ll never intentionally hurt him. It’s different than before with Mai and Suki, this feels more real.” Zuko opened up, knowing how Katara had been reluctant to trust him before.  
“Okay, good. I just…you know…”  
“It’s alright. Hey, what was in that letter?”  
“Oh, it’s our dad, he’s coming to stay in a few weeks.” She walked off and Zuko felt his heart drop into his stomach. Announcing this to Hakoda would be an… experience.

* * *

Katara kept their secret. She backed them up when they would nearly get caught on a lie, but Aang was getting suspicious. She told Zuko and Sokka that she wasn’t comfortable lying to him like this, but it was up to them to tell him.

They were sitting up on in their secret spot on the roof, Sokka’s head was resting on Zuko’s lap, while he was playing with Sokka’s hair.  
“I wish you’d wear your hair down more.” Zuko mumbled, feeling the strands between his fingers. “I like it.”  
“It’s just so long, it gets in the way all the time.” He looked up at Zuko, who’s hair was almost down to his elbows. Zuko scowled and leaned down to kiss Sokka softly on the forehead. His hair tickled Sokka’s face and he giggled lightly. “If yours gets any longer I’m cutting it off as you sleep.”  
“You’re actually adorable. How are you feeling about your dad coming to visit soon?”  
“I’m so excited!” Sokka beamed, eyes sparkling in the sun. “I’m going to show him all the best places in the city. It’s going to be great; it’ll be a real vacation.”  
“I really hate to hijack his trip but I kinda need to talk to him about some politics and stuff.” Zuko felt bad but he wanted to talk to Hakoda face to face about returning some islands and territories in the south to the Water Tribe. It was boring but important, which was Zuko’s life motto for Fire Lord things.  
Sokka pouted, grumbling about Zuko always working. But Zuko ignored him, asking Sokka the most important question.  
“Are you planning on telling him about us?” Zuko looked down at Sokka, hair falling in front of his face which cast a shadow over his burn but left the other side in the light.  
Sokka swallowed and closed his eyes, Zuko’s piercing amber eyes were a bit too intense. “I don’t know, I’d like to not have to announce it or make a big deal out of it. I just want people to know and get over it now.”  
“Then let’s do that.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, it felt good to tell Katara. But maybe we should tell Aang before? I feel bad for your sister lying to him like that. It’s the honourable thing to do.”  
“hOUnoUrAbLe!”

Downstairs that evening, the water tribe siblings and their boyfriends were having dinner. Katara and Aang were excitedly talking about how they’d invented a new water bending trick, and opposite them, Sokka and Zuko were waiting for the right moment to tell Aang the truth.  
“…and it makes it look like there’s something beneath the surface of the water! So, what did you guys get up to today?”  
Zuko glanced at Sokka. “Nothing much, he threatened to cut my hair while I slept.”  
“Zuko’s kidnapping dad when he comes to stay in two weeks to bore him to death with politics.” Sokka retorted sarcastically.  
“And I told my boyfriend that it was an important diplomatic process!” Zuko pulled a face at Sokka and then realised what he’d said and that he’d said it out loud.  
The two of them were stunned into silence, looking between each other, Katara, and Aang.  
“You should make the most of the time he is here, but diplomacy is very important.” Aang said, oblivious to what had been said. “It’s how we-wait! Did you say boyfriend?” He looked up at the two of them, eyes darting side to side like he was watching a fast-paced Airball match. A wry smiled grew on Sokka’ face and he leaned across to Zuko, kissing him on the cheek. The Fire Lord blushed.  
“Oh my gosh! This is the best news ever! Now we can go on double dates!” Aang’s never-ending enthusiasm startled them a bit.  
“Oh great.” Sokka rolled his eyes. “Dates with my sister. Fantastic.” Instead of replying, Katara bended the water out of her brother’s drink and splashed it in his face. “See!” He exclaimed. “She’s a menace.”  
“Wait.” Aang suddenly said, his voice serious. “You don’t seem surprised.” He looked at Katara who was about to flip a bowl of noodles at Sokka. “Did you know?” He seemed incredibly worried.  
“Katara found out about a week ago.” Zuko answered for her, taking Sokka’s hand under the table. “We asked her not to tell you, but I promise she never wanted to lie to you. We wanted to tell you ourselves.” He looked at Aang, trying to gauge the emotions running through the Avatar’s mind. A beat of silence extended around the room.  
“Okay! Cool! I understand.” He eventually said cheerily, kissing Katara gently on the cheek.  
“You’re not mad?” She asked nervously.  
“Why would I be? It wasn’t your secret to tell, and it can’t have been easy to say anything.” He shrugged and went back to eating.  
Zuko and Sokka shrugged at one another, happy that Aang had been so chill about it but still a little confused.

The conversation moved on, Aang got all the details about how and when and where they’d become a couple. As Sokka gushed about Zuko, talking about how sweet and caring he was, Zuko sat there blushing deeply but it made him feel so comfortable and warm inside. He just watched in silence, with a small smile on his face, as Sokka talked about him.  
“Maybe they don’t need to know every detail.” Zuko put his hand on Sokka’s to calm him down. As amazing as he was, Sokka had a tendency to start talking and not stop if he was passionate about it.

They finished dinner and the four of them went to bed. Zuko and Sokka were cuddled into one another in Zuko’s bed.  
“It felt good to tell someone else today.” Sokka said, his head resting on Zuko.  
“Yeah, it really did.” Zuko replied, stroking Sokka’s back gently.  
“I think I’m definitely ready to tell more people when my dad is here. As long as you are?”  
“I think I really am actually, but maybe not until he actually arrives, I’d like to enjoy this for a few days longer.” Zuko said, gently squeezing Sokka in adoration and comfort.  
They both lay in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other’s warmth, presence and touch. It was just so nice, Zuko thought, but it was a bit more than that, it was truly comforting and calming, as well as being exciting and fun at the same time.  
“I should go, it’s late.” Sokka said, sitting up and trying to get out of bed.  
“You know, you could… stay.” Zuko blurted out, blushing and dropping his gaze.  
“Really?” Sokka turned around and looked back at Zuko, who nodded lightly. He had really meant it, it had been two months since he’d asked Sokka to be his boyfriend, but longer than that since their first kiss, and their second proper kiss, and right now he just wanted to be close to him.  
Sokka crawled back into bed with Zuko, pulling the sheets over them. Zuko lay on his back as Sokka straddled a leg over him and kissed him hard.  
Their hands were in each other’s hair, stroking their faces, holding their bodies, undoing their robes…  
“Wait,” Whispered Zuko, his hands were holding Sokka’s waist, feeling the warm skin beneath his fingers. “Maybe not yet.” Although he loved the passion of the moment, he didn’t feel ready for anything yet. “I’m sorry Sokka.”  
Sokka relaxed, his hands stroked Zuko’s face. He was careful to avoid Zuko’s scar as it was sometimes more sensitive. “There’s no need to apologise. I can go, if you want.”  
“No, I’d like you to stay but not tonight… I’m not ready yet I think.”  
“Okay, of course. When we’re both ready, yeah?” Sokka fell down to Zuko’s side and curled his legs around Zuko’s. His arm was draped across Zuko’s chest, feeling it rise and fall.  
Zuko felt so calm and so serene that he didn’t want this to ever end. He felt the weight of Sokka’s limbs on his, the touch of his legs intertwined with his own, his breath on his skin. It was a moment that Zuko wanted to remember forever.


	6. To Have The Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakoda's arrival turns out not to be the biggest problem they face

A week passed and Hakoda’s arrival was imminent. Sokka and Zuko were comfortably being more of a couple in public, not explicitly, but they were being more open about it. Nerves were settling and the anxiety of being found out was wearing off. The idea of coming out as queer still worried them, especially Zuko, because he didn’t know how the Fire Nation would react to an openly gay ruler. Sokka wasn’t sure how to tell his father that he was dating the fire lord. It wasn’t that Hakoda didn’t like Zuko, just that it wasn’t really common to marry outside of their tribe. But times had changed, the world was smaller and perhaps it would mark the start of a change.

Zuko was pacing around his room, preparing for Hakoda’s arrival in the evening. He was wringing his hands so intensely that occasionally sparks would fly and burn out in mid-air. He hadn’t been this nervous until now, but suddenly it was upon them and it was all very real. A set of quite-formal-but-not-the-most-formal robes were hanging on back of the door, he was supposed to be getting dressed but he was too nervous to function yet. He started hyperventilating and it he could feel a panic attack growing inside him and he collapsed into a chair. He tried to stay grounded and control his breathing, like Sokka had helped with before.  
Eventually it passed. He closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands. He knew he shouldn’t be so worried; he’d done scarier things and been less nervous about it, but this meant so much to him that it made him feel sick to his stomach. He breathed deeply and made a small ball of fire in his hands. Over the years he’d found that if he could control a gentle flame, he was in control of his emotions and energy, so being able to maintain a small glowing ball reassured him deeply. He looked over to the robes on the door and sighed. He knew he should get dressed but he wasn’t quite ready, not quite yet. After a moment or four of controlled breathing and holding the glowing ball, Zuko relaxed and got up.

Once he was dressed in his robes, Zuko leaned on the windowsill, staring out over the city and nation he ruled. He couldn’t believe that this time three years ago he had been set on hunting the person who was now his best friend.  
“Hi.” A soft voice said behind him and he felt Sokka’s arms wrap around his waist and his head rest over his shoulder.  
“Hey there.” Zuko squeezed Sokka’s hands.  
“You ready for this? They’ll be here in an hour.”  
“I guess I have to be.” Zuko turned around to see Sokka, who was dressed head to toe in varying shades of blue, from a pair of dark navy trousers to a pale blue silk haori, but there was gold embroidery with fire nation designs in hidden folds of the fabric. Zuko thought he looked like the sea when the sunlight glints off it as it sets. It was beautiful and artistic, powerful and handsome. “Wow, you look…”  
“Oh, stop it.” Sokka blushed as red as Zuko’s robes.  
“Shall we go? I told Katara and Aang we’d meet them on the way.”

Down at the port, Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Zuko were waiting to see Southern Water Tribe sails appear on the horizon. Aang and Katara were waterbending the sea around them, while Zuko and Sokka were deep in conversation.  
“It’ll be fine, stop worrying.” Zuko said to Sokka, unsure who he was really trying to convince.  
“I know, it’s just-”  
“There they are!” Katara suddenly shouted.  
Zuko and Sokka turned around to see two Water Tribe boats flying through the water, the wind behind them.  
The four of them stood on the pier as the ships approached; Sokka took Zuko’s hand and squeezed it tightly, as if he would never let go.  
The boats docked and the passengers disembarked, but as soon as Hakoda was in sight, Sokka’s hand pulled away from Zuko’s.  
“Dad!” Sokka and Katara ran up to their father and hugged him tightly.  
“Wow, you two have grown so much! We have a lot to catch up on.” He said, taking in his children who were now both bordering adulthood. “Avatar Aang,” They bowed deeply at each other, and Hakoda turned to Zuko. “Lord Zuko.” He bowed again, but Zuko hated all this ceremony from the people he knew.  
“Chief Hakoda, please just call me Zuko.”  
“Only if you stop calling me Chief Hakoda.”  
Sokka interrupted the power struggle before it got worse. “How was your journey dad?”  
“It was good, we stopped in the Earth Kingdom on the way, which reminds me, I have a surprise for you.”  
At that moment, a blur came running off the boat in full Kyoshi Warrior uniform.  
“Suki!” Sokka yelled, a huge grin forming on his face and they hugged each other tightly. Zuko felt like a ball of lead had been fired into his stomach, and that the last couple of months had been a short-lived dream. He realised should have got his head out of the clouds sooner.  
On the carriage ride back to the palace, Zuko was quiet while Sokka and Katara asked their father for news of their homeland. They were so excited that Sokka didn’t notice his boyfriend’s absentmindedness, but Aang did, and he subtly gestured at Zuko that he understood. Zuko smiled softly at him, but it didn’t stop the tightening feeling in his stomach. He wished his uncle were there to give him advice.  
The carriages stopped and the party climbed out. It was early evening and yet another feast had been planned for the group.  
“I will let you get settled and unpack. Dinner will be in a couple of hours.” Zuko addressed his guests as if they weren’t people who he’d saved the world with once.

Zuko was quiet throughout dinner too, and once again Sokka didn’t seem to notice because he was too excited to hear what Suki had been up too. The decision to tell Hakoda and all the others about them seemed to fly out of the window after Suki’s surprise appearance and Zuko did everything he could not to storm out or speak up about it.

After dinner, Zuko disappeared to his room where he curled up on the chaise longue and gazed sadly out of the window. He watched the sun set over the city and twilight set in before he was interrupted.  
“Zuko! There you are.” Sokka’s voice burst into the room and Zuko turned around hopefully. “We’ve been looking all over for you.” But his hope disintegrated when Suki appeared behind Sokka, laughing heavily.  
“Well, here I am.” He snapped and turned away. “You found me.” He held back tears and rage, intensely staring out of the window.  
“Is everything alright Zuko?” Suki asked.  
“Fine.”  
Sokka sighed audibly, “Suki, can you give us a minute?” She left the room and Sokka sat down on the end of the chaise longue. “What’s up?” His voice was soft and concerned but Zuko was too emotional for it to calm him down like it usually did.  
“Sure you don’t want to go with your _girlfriend_?” He stressed every syllable of the last word, his voice edging towards a really nasty snarl.  
“You know she’s not, right?” Sokka managed to maintain a level tone but the anger was rising.  
“Could’ve fooled me.” He sounded like his sister in the old days.  
“That’s what this is about? You’re jealous?” Sokka stood up in outrage, scoffing and rolling his eyes.  
Zuko stood up too, “Maybe I am! But it’s hard not to be when your own boyfriend doesn’t say two words to you all night.” He clenched his fists to stop himself from hurting Sokka with any fire.  
“Oh, right, of course, it’s all my fault. You weren’t sat there sulking for the entire time, or was I imagining that?”  
“Fine! Maybe I was sulking, but I had good reason to. You hugged Suki like you were still together, I thought you were going to kiss her! How do you think I felt?” Zuko shouted, sparks literally flying out of his mouth. Sokka stepped back, suddenly quite scared of Zuko, who noticed his boyfriend’s change in body language. “I’m…” He mumbled, turning away in shame at what had just happened.  
“Zuko, she was, and will always be, one of my closest friends. I haven’t seen her in. over. a. year.” He stressed each letter. “I am allowed to be interested in what a girl who risked her life for me several times is getting up to these days. If you can’t see that, then…”  
Zuko sighed and turned back to face his boyfriend. “Sokka… I just overreacted; I should have thought more… it’s my fault.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his face in his hands. Suddenly he felt Sokka’s hands on his, gently pulling them away from his face.  
“No, I could have been better earlier, but you know how I get when stuff like this happens.” Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko’s neck, kissing him on the nose. “I start talking and don’t stop.”  
“I didn’t think I’d get a word in edgeways.” Suki’s voice unexpectedly piped up from the doorway. It made Zuko panic and pull away from Sokka. “Don’t worry Zuko, I’m not jealous.” She giggled lightly, which helped them all to relax. “Anyway, I’ve got a girlfriend.” Sokka seemed to sit out an imaginary drink as she said that, while Zuko just stood there in shock at her lack of concern about the whole situation.  
After a moment of stunned silence, Zuko finally managed to muster up some words. “Come and sit down, I want to know everything.” He wasn’t entirely sure where this gossipy persona had emerged from, but it was the best he would do.  
Zuko sat on one end of the sofa, with Sokka stretched across his lap, and Suki was on the other end, resting her chin on one raised knee.  
“So, I spent a bit of time in Ba Sing Se, we wanted to try and reform the Dai Li but they wouldn’t accept outside help, even from the Kyoshi Warriors.” She rolled her eyes. “But we did get to explore the city and I went to see your uncle at his tea shop. It was there that I met this girl, Jin, who’s just-”  
“Wait, Jin? Has she got dark brown hair, and eats like Appa?” Zuko bolted upright, remembering a day in Ba Sing Se years ago.  
“Yes...?” Suki replied nervously, looking suspiciously at him.  
“And her favourite place in the city is the Firelight Fountain?” It was all coming back to him.  
“Zuko, what’s going on?” Sokka and Suki asked in unison.  
“I, kind of, maybe, sort of, went on a date with her…”  
“WHAT?!” Suki gasped and Sokka looked at him stunned.  
“It was ages ago! It was when uncle and I were refugees in the city. It wasn’t like last week or anything.” He explained, and the other two calmed down. “Hold on, she’s not here, is she?” He suddenly remembered how that date had ended.  
“No, why? What did you do?” Suki asked, loving the story of Zuko’s awkwardness.  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Zuko blushed and hid behind a cushion.  
“Zuko?”  
“Fine, she tried to kiss me, and I ran away.” A beat of silence followed his confession before the other two burst into fits of laughter. Before long, Zuko was laughing about how awkward he had been, but also small the world was that a girl he’d been on a date with was now the girlfriend of his boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.

* * *

Perhaps there was something about laughing with Sokka and Suki the night before, but Zuko felt more comfortable and happier the next morning when he woke up with Sokka asleep next to him. After a minute, Sokka woke up too and Zuko cuddled into him, his black hair splayed out over the white pillows, like ink on clean parchment.  
“I’m sorry about being so annoying yesterday.” He mumbled, voice still full of sleep.  
“It’s okay, I could have been less annoying too.” Sokka replied, combing his fingers through Zuko’s hair. “Do you think you’d be ready to tell my dad today?”  
“Do we have to tell him? Can’t I just start kissing you in the middle of dinner and leave it at that?” Zuko pouted, tracing shapes over Sokka’s bare torso.  
“As much as I would _love_ that, I think perhaps we should be more sensible about it.”

They both got up and got dressed. Zuko prepared for a day of legislation and diplomacy with his boyfriend’s father and Sokka prayed to all the spirits that it would go well. They walked down to breakfast together, and found Hakoda, Bato, Katara, Aang, Suki, Azula and, surprisingly, Toph, around the table. Their conversation stopped when Zuko and Sokka walked in.  
“Ooooh arriving late and arriving together! Some people might assume you had slept together.” Toph joked sarcastically, expecting awkwardness as the rest of the group laughed.  
But without missing a beat Zuko replied, “Well those people wouldn’t be entirely wrong.”  
A silence fell until Azula shouted "Toph! You owe me two silver pieces!" 


	7. The Moments We Make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the fire lord’s relationship has to go through certain cliche milestones

Since that day Zuko had announced to all their friends and family that Sokka and him were sleeping together, their lives had become exponentially easier. Hakoda had taken it surprisingly well, he was very surprised, but he eventually got over it; Azula wasn’t at all shocked – she knew her brother too well and had seen something like this coming a mile away; they also told Iroh, who almost immediately started planning the wedding.  
The Fire Nation Council had recommended that they make an official announcement, but they hadn’t even been together for six months and it felt just a little too intense, and of course they faced opposition. Some felt that the relationship was sullying the Fire Nation monarchy, and that Zuko should be with someone from his own country; similarly, some in the Water Tribes were also opposed to Sokka dating the Fire Lord. And of course, there were people who opposed the idea of two men being together. Zuko and Sokka tried not to let it bother them, but it did. Zuko realised that sometimes it got to Sokka more than it got to him. Zuko, although still very emotional, had built up a thick skin against criticism and people not liking him, but Sokka really just wanted people to like him and it chewed away at him. The more they spent time together, called each other boyfriend, especially in public, the more Sokka grew resilient against the disapprovers. To those who had wanted the two of them to date within their nations, they started using the argument that these were new times and that such a relationship beyond borders was a new peace-keeping tactic. And to those who were just outright homophobic, they just ignored it and knew they would be on the right side of history.

Over the four months, Zuko and Sokka ticked off classic relationship milestones. Literally. It seemed that Sokka’s way of understanding it was by making a list of all the things that had to happen while they were a couple. The list was added to and changed, tasks were crossed off and uncrossed off when it didn’t really count.  
Zuko didn’t actually think the list was real, he’d never seen it and that when Sokka said “I’ll need to cross that off” after everything, he thought it was a running joke.

 **The List (By Sokka of the Water Tribe, assisted by Dr Wang Fire)**  
1\. Go to the theatre together  
~~2\. Cook for each other (it still counts if it’s awful (@ me))~~  
3\. Take Zuko penguin sledding  
~~4\. Dinner date~~  
5\. Have sex (Nice Nice Nice)  
6\. Get drunk (possibly linked to above)  
7\. Meet each other’s parents (see 14) (the ones that aren’t dead or missing)  
~~8\. Double date with Aang and Katara (only because they asked)~~  
9\. Double date with Ty Lee and Mai  
10\. Teach Zuko to use boomerang  
~~11\. Get Zuko to teach me how to use dual swords~~  
~~12\. Ask Katara to teach me how I can do Zuko’s hair~~  
13\. Get a pet (Momo, Appa, and Toph don’t count)  
14\. Go on holiday together (Boiling rock doesn’t count)  
15\. Tell Ozai I’m doing his son (looking forward to that one) (only possible after 4)  
~~16\. Steal an item (or three) of Zuko’s clothes~~  
17\. Buy Zuko a birthday present  
~~18\. Find out when his birthday is~~  
19\. Ask him what really happened that made him turn to our side (apart from O*ai being an iconic piece of shit)  
20.

 _Number 1: Go to the theatre together_  
“Hey Zuko!” Sokka came running into Zuko’s office – reserved for Fire Lord duties that were exceedingly boring – holding a poster for something. Zuko was in the middle of signing some bills and orders for the council when Sokka slapped the piece of paper down on top of it all.  
“Look!”  
“What am I looking at?” Zuko replied, bemused.  
“Look! They’re doing a play about the creation of Omashu! With songs! We have to go!”  
“Sokka, remember what happened last time we went to the theatre?”  
“Hey! I wouldn’t have interrupted them, but I cannot believe they butchered In Times of Love and Ice like that!” Sokka protested, leaning on Zuko’s desk, crumpling all the papers. “It’ll be fun! Also, I already got tickets for tonight.” He looked cheekily at Zuko, who raised his eyebrows and conceded to the date that evening.

After the play, the two of them left singing “Secret tunneeel, secret tunneeeel, through the mountaiiins, secret tuneeeel” which they couldn’t get out of their heads. The play hadn’t been brilliant, but Zuko had spent the time nestled into Sokka and not worried about the world.  
“I’m proud of you for not saying anything when they got stuff wrong.” Zuko said to Sokka, who was still humming the song.  
“I didn’t want to embarrass you. Also, I feel like if I criticise them it becomes like a royal complaint and I didn’t want you to deal with that.”  
“Wow you’re so kind.” Zuko replied sarcastically. “But it’s not a royal challenge, you’re not Fire Nation royalty, I’m afraid babe.”  
“Not yet. That’s another one off the list.”

 _Number 9: Double Date with Ty Lee and Mai_  
Zuko knocked on Sokka’s bedroom door and found him deciding between a light blue and pale blue tunic top. Personally, Zuko couldn’t see the difference, but he suggested the light blue which seemed to work for Sokka.  
“You look nice.” Sokka said, taking in Zuko’s simple red silk jacket with a short collar, covered in black and gold embroidery. Half his hair was intricately braided into a topknot, and the rest swept over his shoulders. Zuko scoffed, he knew he looked good.  
“Ready to go?”  
“Yeah, this is another one to cross off the list.”

They met Mai and Ty Lee at the restaurant. Zuko eventually managed to convince his entourage of guards that they could leave. If any assassination attempts happened, he was in safe hands between the other three.  
It was a wonderful evening, one of those things that was genuinely just fun. Zuko hadn’t laughed as much listening to Mai’s story about how her and Ty Lee had been trying to help Suki in Ba Sing Se but Ty Lee kept dragging them to the circus in town and joining in almost every evening.  
“I don’t see what the problem is!?” Ty Lee objected.  
“Babe, you can’t take us to the circus and then just decide their resident acrobats aren’t good enough.” Mai complained, sipping her wine.  
By the end of the evening, Zuko and Sokka were exhausted from laughing and about two bottles of wine deep. Mai and Ty Lee went home to Mai’s parents’ house, while the boys were carried back to the palace, too drunk to walk sensibly.

 _Number 6: Get drunk together_  
By the time they reached the palace, Sokka had dozed off in the carriage and Zuko felt the world spinning around him. He’d never been this drunk before, but it was definitely very fun.  
They stumbled into the palace, singing ‘SECRET TUNNEL’ very loudly and out of tune, waking up Aang, Katara, and all the palace staff. Falling into Zuko’s room, they collapsed onto the bed, tangled in each other’s clothes and limbs.  
“I think youuuuuu’re amaaaaaazing Ssssssssokka.” Zuko slurred, before burping loudly.  
“No, you’re amazing.” Whispered Sokka, his face squished into a pillow. Zuko planted a sloppy kiss on Sokka’s exposed cheek and rolled him into a cuddle.

In the morning, the two of them woke in exactly the same position they had probably fallen asleep in. Sokka’s face was still pressed into a pillow, but Zuko’s arms were wrapped around him in a tight embrace.  
“Zuko,” Sokka mumbled. “Can you please let go of me? I think I need to be sick.” He stumbled over to the window and threw up out of it onto the grass below. “Sorry.” He muttered and fell back onto the bed.  
Zuko rolled onto his back, brushing tangled hair out of his face. He could feel something digging into his back, he rummaged around and pulled out a small wooden boomerang. “Sokka? What’s this?” He groaned, tossing it at his hungover boyfriend.  
“I think you asked me to teach you how to use one?” Sokka’s voice was raspy and if he hadn’t been so hungover, Zuko would have found it quite sexy.  
“Urghhhhhh.” Zuko groaned again, rolling face first into the mattress. “Everything hurts and I feel like I’m dying.”

 _Number 3: Take Zuko penguin sledding_  
Sokka and Zuko were sitting by the turtleduck pond with their feet in the water. Zuko was throwing pieces of bread for the animals who kept swimming around his ankles. Sokka’s head was resting on Zuko’s shoulder. They were tired, number five had been ticked off the list last night and they didn’t really want to do anything today. The sun was shining softly over the courtyard, and the light dappled through the tree blossom. It seemed almost heavenly and a perfect peaceful moment.  
“Master Sokka, I have a letter for you.” One of the palace staff said behind him and handed him a scroll. It had their tribe’s seal on the front and Sokka was excited because he never got much post.  
“Ooooh, what is it?” Zuko asked, trying to read over his boyfriend’s shoulder. As Sokka read, Zuko saw his grip on the paper tighten and he started breathing heavily. “Hey, what is it?” Zuko squeezed an arm around Sokka.  
“It’s… Gran Gran’s died.” Sokka sobbed, tears falling onto the page. He dropped the letter into the pond and collapsed into Zuko, who just held him in comfort and care.

Only two days later, Zuko, Katara, Sokka, Aang, and Toph were flying to the South Pole. The mood on Appa was solemn, Katara and Sokka barely said a word for the entire flight and the other three didn’t want to force fun upon them. The journey was long, and it left a lot of time for quiet contemplation, even between stops so Appa could rest. The world changed below them, from sea to sand, forest to valley, mountain to river.

Sokka was quietly sleeping on Zuko’s lap, having his hair stroked by his boyfriend. Aang was sat next to them, watching Katara fly Appa at the front, and Toph was asleep too on the fur coats they’d brought.  
“I’m not looking forward to any of this.” Aang said, distracting himself by playing with Momo.  
“Does anyone look forward to funerals?” Zuko replied quietly, not wanting to wake Sokka.  
“That’s true. I can’t remember the last time we were here.” Aang said, as the landscape beneath them turned into frozen sea and icecaps.  
“It was after the war, remember, we call came here to help rebuild and pay reparations.” Zuko said, running his fingers through Sokka’s ponytail.  
“And before that it was…” Aang trailed off as he realised when it had been.  
“Yeah.” Zuko looked away, embarrassed and ashamed.  
“It can’t have been? Really?” Aang was suspicious that the last time they’d been in the South Pole was when he’d come out of the iceberg and Zuko had attacked them. “You had that terrible ponytail then.”  
“It wasn’t that terrible.” Zuko lied, knowing fully how bad it was.  
“Hey, guys! We’ve arrived!” Katara called, Toph woke up and immediately complained about the cold. Zuko gently shook Sokka’s shoulder and he woke up.  
“We’re here.”

Sokka and Katara’s home had changed a lot and grown a lot since their last visit. It looked more like the Northern Water Tribe when they’d first been.  
Sokka and Zuko were unpacking and settling in, Zuko putting on many more layers of clothing to keep himself warm. Sokka pointed out that he was a fire bender and surely, he could warm himself up, but Zuko secretly liked wearing Sokka’s warmer clothes because they smelt like him.  
Sokka was sat down on the bed, he hadn’t moved in ten minutes and Zuko went to sit next to him.  
“How are you doing?” He took Sokka’s hand and squeezed it gently.  
“Honestly, not great. There’s only me, Katara and dad left now, our family is getting smaller and smaller.” Sokka sniffed, looking straight at the floor.  
“You’ve got me, and Aang, Toph, Suki. Someday you’ll be an uncle… probably a father.”  
“I know, I suppose you’re right, but you know how it feels to lose your family. It’s just hard.”  
“I’m going to be here for you, no matter what.”

After the funeral, after the wake, after the five best friends had talked and laughed and cried together, Zuko and Sokka were curled in bed together, silently lying in comfort after what had been a long and emotional day.  
“Hey, do you want to go penguin sledding tomorrow?” Sokka mumbled, looking at Zuko who was wrapped in five blankets and furs.  
Zuko didn’t answer, surprised at his question and confused about penguin sledding. “Do I want to do what?”  
“Penguin sledding.” Sokka said, as if that answered all of Zuko’s queries. “I could do with some fun and I really want to take you.”

The next morning, Sokka and Zuko donned oilskins and furs so they would be as warm as possible while sliding through the icy landscape. They rowed out to where the Otter-Penguins lived and Sokka, mostly successfully, caught them two penguins.  
“Okay, so what you do it…” Sokka explained at the top of an iceberg, while Zuko shivered. He found it adorable how Sokka so enthusiastic about it and how much he enjoyed showing Zuko things from his home. “…So, you ready to go?” Zuko realised he hadn’t been paying attention to Sokka’s instructions but suddenly he felt a hand push him forwards and he was zooming downwards along the sloping ice and water. It was outrageously freezing, but he got used to the cold and began to enjoy the feeling of the wind in his hair and on his face. It was bizarrely exhilarating, and he found himself loving it.  
“Sokka this is brilliant!” He cried, unsure if his boyfriend could hear him. Eventually, the ground levelled out and they slowed to a halt, rolling off the penguins and into the snow. Zuko could hear Sokka’s laugh from somewhere near. He sat up and brushed the flurry off his clothes. Sokka was lying in the white powder, laughing loudly with a huge smile on his face. Zuko smiled and then began to laugh too, he hadn’t seen Sokka this happy in days. They stayed for a moment, until Zuko started to feel the cold again and Sokka rowed them back to the village. When they arrived, Sokka was called in by Katara and Hakoda for a family talk.

Zuko sat and twiddled his thumbs for the next couple of hours, until Sokka returned looking melancholy.  
“How was that?” Zuko asked, looking up from a book on the different types of iceberg he found strangely interesting.  
“Zuko, I…” Sokka sat down opposite him, avoiding eye contact and Zuko could tell something was wrong.  
“What’s up?”  
“Dad’s asked me and Katara to stay here. He wants us to help grow our Tribe. After all our travelling and adventures, we have some of the best knowledge and experience. We reconnected with the Northern Water tribe and we want to connect with the world.”  
Zuko swallowed, nervous about Sokka’s answer. “What do you want to do?”  
“I don’t know, on the one hand this is my home. I grew up here, but I also think I deserve to live here without a war going on and with the chance to grow our culture. There’s nothing more I’d love to do that spend time with dad and Katara and everyone else while making it a better place to be. But the Fire Nation is becoming just as much of a home now, all my friends are there or nearby, coming all the way down here would be a commitment. I could make a new life there, a new life with you.” He looked up at Zuko with tears in his eyes.  
Zuko didn’t reply immediately, thinking about Sokka’s options. He never ever wanted to become the person who stopped their partner from making the right decision. “Sokka, you know now much I value family and tradition, so I do think that you should spend time here. It’s important to rebuild and grow, especially after everything. Don’t feel like you have to stay just because of me. Maybe you can come back after a year or two, alternate between here and the Fire Nation.”  
‘You’re sure? I don’t want to lose you.”  
“We can visit each other, it’ll be alright, we ca get through this.”

A week later, Aang, Zuko, and Toph were readying Appa for the flight home. Sokka and Katara were stood with their father as Aang threw snacks and his glider onto the bison.  
The Water Tribe siblings ran over to their friends, Katara hugging Aang, and Sokka hugging Zuko (Toph had said her goodbyes and was itching to leave).  
“Write to me when you get home?” Sokka held Zuko’s face in his hands, stroking the rough skin around his burn.  
“Of course.” He pressed a hard kiss into Sokka’s lips, which became passionate and intense for a moment.  
“You really think we can get through this?”  
"Without a doubt." 


	8. Words Disappear in Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two lovers,  
> apart from one another,  
> a world between their nations,  
> and a ocean divides them apart,  
> wrote two letters to be together
> 
> I forget the next couple of lines, but then it goes...
> 
> PINING LETTERS  
> PINING LETTERS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably a whirlwind of emotions in a very short chapter (including a v brief nsfw moment)

To Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, my dearest,

I don’t really know how to start this letter, how are you? That feels weird, I’m not going to get a reply from you for weeks, you’ll probably be different by the time I get it.  
I guess I should tell you what’s been going on here, but it’s not very interesting.  
Aang and I worked on rewriting the education system in Ba Sing Se with the Earth King, but the Dai Li kept blocking everything (nothing’s changed there). I saw Suki and Jin on the way back, it was very awkward but they’re both doing good. Suki seems really happy.  
What else has happened? I’ve apparently forgotten everything that’s happened.  
There’s some baby turtleducks in the pond now, one of them got lost the other day and I had to carry it back to its mother. I won’t lie to you, I nearly cried. You know how they make me emotional.  
What else? We’ve decided to take more money out of the army and into the arts. Theatre is dying around me and I can’t cope if I have to see another amateur dramatics society butcher “In times of Fire and Ice” (I went to another one last week, it was baaaaaad).  
I haven’t seen Toph in three weeks but statues of her keep appearing around the city, so I know she’s okay.  
I tried to teach myself how to throw a boomerang (I wanted to get you to teach me, but I guess we can’t do that now) but I ended up nearly killing Azula and setting fire to the grass (please don’t ask).  
Speaking of my sister, she’s taken up making tea, it’s always terrible but I appreciate the effort from her, and I know mine was awful when I first started making it with uncle. She’s also decided to help me look for our mother. That’s the important news I had to tell you.  
We were talking the other day about the past and stuff, and she’s really come a long way over the past few years. She was saying that she wants to help find Ursa, because dad’s still not told us, and it doesn’t look like he’s ever going to. I think it’s his way of holding something over us until the end. We went to visit him; it was the first time Azula had seen him in over a year and I don’t think he was very happy that his favourite child prodigy was in the middle of redeeming herself. 

Can you invent something to get people to tell the truth?   
Are you doing any inventing? I miss your definitely not terrible doodles on scraps of paper which sometimes turned into something more successful.

I miss your cooking (only the good bits, sorry, you’re not as good as Katara or Ty Lee) and I miss going out to dinner with you at our favourite place, as well as trying new places and all the places we haven’t been yet.  
I miss stealing your clothes and you stealing mine but then giving them back and they smell like you. I miss playing with Momo and Appa and showing you cool fire bending tricks (Is your favourite still the writing with the sparks?”).  
I miss you running full of energy into rooms to show me something you’ve found, and I miss you rambling about something else you’ve found interesting because I love listening to you be passionate about so many things.  
I miss waking up next to you when your hair is all fluffy and flopping over your face and you’re half-awake but if it’s still early enough you’ll roll over and go back to sleep. Or when we’d have nothing to do so we’d stay cuddled in bed in the warmth for a while longer.  
I miss making you laugh, and I miss your smile across the room (ewww how cringey am I?) because it cheers me up on the worst days.  
I hope no one else reads this because I miss your kisses and the feeling of your hands in my hair. I miss having sex and the euphoria of it. I miss being hot and sweaty next to you in bed afterwards, still on a high.  
I miss getting drunk with you, and staggering home after dark, and falling over and laughing for hours and waking up not fully aware of how we got there.

I miss you so much Sokka, I miss how happy you make me feel and how calm I am when you’re around. I miss talking to you about everything important and absolute nonsense because you’re the only person who I can do that with. As much as I love everyone else, it’s different with you.

Please come home soon.

Yours,  
Lord Zuko of the Fire Nation

* * *

My dearest Zuko, your hotness,

Thank you for writing, I’m glad you wrote first because it wouldn’t have known what to say. I’m going to try to answer your questions in the same order, but I’ll probably forget halfway through.

I’m doing good, it’s strange here but I love how we’re helping and growing our tribe. We’ve got a lot more contact with the Northerners now, it’s really great. In another lifetime, I think me and Yue might have been pushed into an arranged marriage (a lifetime without you of course). I talk to her sometimes when I’m alone, I know she can’t reply but I like to think she’s listening. Katara caught me talking to her and made fun of me for talking to myself. She doesn’t understand, but I think you do.

I’m glad Suki and Jin are happy, I’d love to meet this mysterious ex-girlfriend of yours one day. I’m not really surprised the Dai Li are being jerks, but I’m sure you’ll find a way.

I’d pay good money to see you cry while holding a baby turtleduck, or even better to see you trying to catch a stray one while in full regalia because that’s how I pictured what happened. Speaking of cute animals, I went penguin sledding with Katara the other day. It was fun but not as fun as when we went together.

I’m not at all surprised that you defunded the army and gave it to theatre. You now understand why I get to frustrated at all am-dram things we end up going to, but if they haven’t gotten better by the time I come back, you might want to seriously reconsider moving all of your money into it.

I wouldn’t expect any less from Toph, you know I don’t see my sister a lot these days either. I think she’s helping make buildings out of ice, just like up north. She’s also practising a lot of her healing and things, as well as somehow destroying the patriarchy in the North. I’m so proud of her to be honest, and I’m sure Aang is too. Dad definitely is.  
Um what else did you say? Oh yeah the boomerang stuff.  
You know I could have taught you to do it, it would have been cute like when you taught me to fight with the dual swords. (Tell Azula I’ll teach you properly soon so there’s no threat to her life anymore.)

Wow, that’s actually amazing! I really hope you find her because I think it’ll really help you both. Not that you haven’t come so far without her, but I know you have unanswered questions. I think it’ll give you some of your childhood back, and let you love yourself more. You know I think you’re too hard on yourself sometimes. But it’s good that Azula wants to help to, even after everything.  
But oh, my TUI AND LA your dad is the biggest loser and jerk I’ve ever known, and I met Long Feng AND the Boiling Rock warden (aww remember that trip <3).   
I’ll try to come up with something, but I think you have too much faith in me.

I miss you so much it seems to hurt. I miss distracting you when you’re working and you trying to ignore me but I’m just too gorgeous to ignore…  
No, but I really miss you. I miss you pretending to like my cooking, and I miss spending ages choosing somewhere to go and eat. I miss double dates and our most basic dates. I miss hanging out on the roof with you as the sun sets and waking up in the middle of the night shivering because we’ve both fallen asleep, and you warming us up with some firebending. (also yes my favourite still is the sparks thing)  
I miss how warm you always are when I touch you and how it radiates out of you like your love for the world.  
I miss running my fingers through your hair and braiding it like Katara taught me. I know I’m not very good at it, but it makes me really happy when you smile at it.  
I miss sex too, especially in your office or that one time in the council chambers before your meeting… I miss the adrenaline of nearly getting caught and having to pretend like I wasn’t just bending you over a table and pulling your hair.  
Sorry, anyway, I miss you. I miss how hopeful you are for the world, even in the worst moments. I miss how you command a room because you have this kind of energy that makes everyone respect you. I miss your terrible, terrible jokes and your gloomy sense of humour. I miss you telling me about your day and how it makes me smile when I hear about all the good you’ve been doing.

Yours lovingly,  
Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe


	9. Unread words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters between the two of them are emotional and slow.

My dearest Sokka,  
It seems like a lifetime since we last wrote, so I suppose I should have a lot to tell you, but nothing had really happened.  
We’re still trying to find our mother, Azula left on an airship a week ago to go and search the colonies. It seems everyone around me is leaving. The palace feels empty, it feels like it’s just me rattling around the dark corridors. I keep thinking that I hear you running down the halls but it’s just wishful thinking. I go up to our spot on the roof a lot, it doesn’t feel the same without you.  
I wish you were here.

I hope everything is going well at home for you, I like to think you’re in charge of huge operation to rebuild and expand. I can see you ordering people about and getting them to create whatever wonderful thing you’ve invented this week. Send my love to Katara, I think Aang is going to fly down soon. I’d love to come but I have too much work and responsibility at the moment, I can’t just leave, especially not with Azula gone. I hope you can come and stay soon.

Uncle came to stay for a while, we drank a lot of tea and played a lot of Pai Sho. I’d like to play it with you one day, though I am absolutely terrible so maybe not. We talked about his life in Ba Sing Se, and about how I, the heir to Fire Nation throne, used to work in retail. Honestly, I’m still shocked that you guys never came into the shop and we had a standoff in the Jasmine Dragon.

I haven’t heard from Suki in a while, but I’m sure no news is good news.

I went to see the new version of ‘The Boy in The Iceberg’ which was actually quite good. You’ll be happy to hear that they have kept your ‘rocky relationship’ joke in (it’s still not funny) but they’ve written out ‘cabbage patch’ (which is actually quite funny). All of us have been rewritten as more accurate and better versions of ourselves, perhaps the versions we wished we really were, apart from Toph who’s still being played by a massive and muscly man.

That’s the other thing that happened, she went to see her parents about a week ago and as far as I know she’s still there. Before she left, she said something about teaching more earthbenders to metalbend, so I don’t really know if or when she’ll come back. The Fire Nation isn’t her home, and I think she needs to work out where home is.

It seems my friends are leaving me behind, travelling and doing right by the world that hurt them, while I’m stuck here, signing declarations of peace and deciding whether to add a new national holiday to celebrate Aang (he said no but we’ll see…).

I miss you dearly, I miss your face and your smile and your hands and your laugh and your energy and the effect you have on me when you wear your hair down. I miss it all and I miss it more.

What I wouldn’t give for a way to travel faster, to be able to fly through the skies to see you quicker.

Yours, in fire and ice,  
Zuko.

* * *

  
My dearest Sokka,

It’s been three weeks since I last wrote and I haven’t had a reply from you, I hope my letter didn’t get lost by Hawky or that it wasn’t intercepted (by someone who wants boring details about us).  
Despite your lack of reply, I will still tell you what’s been happening. It’s just me in the palace now, after Aang went to see Katara and you, he decided to carry on to the air temples, but I guess you already new that. Azula is still away, she’s asked Jun to help the search, but we don’t have anything that will still smell like mother, but Azula is certain and insistent that Jun is the right person for the job (I think she might have a crush on her).

There’s not much else to say,  
Please write soon, I miss getting your letters.

Yours forever,  
Zuko.

* * *

Sokka, my dearest,  
Once again, I haven’t had a reply from you, so I think perhaps these letters are getting lost out at sea.  
I’ve been summoned by the Sun Warriors to visit their temples, so I guess that’s something exciting. But not much else has happened.  
I do wonder what’s going on down in the South, I might come and stay. I’m sure the council can cope without me for a while. If you get this, please do tell me what’s going on.

Yours,  
Zuko

* * *

My dearest Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe,

Please write back if you get this, or else I’ll come and deliver it myself.

Yours lovingly,  
Zuko

* * *

My Dearest Sokka,  
Please.  
Yours forever,  
Zuko.

* * *

Zuko,  
I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, I can’t do it. It’s too far and it’s too difficult.  
Please stop writing, and please don’t come down here.

I’m sorry.  
Sokka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry x
> 
> this isn’t even remotely finished so stick around for a whole lot more angst but I am currently on holiday without decent WiFi so chapter 10 will be in a while bcos I can’t upload it yet


	10. Rotations of a Broken World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko doesn’t get the closure he wanted or deserved, he still has questions and is in desperate need of answers.

As Zuko read the last three words of Sokka’s letter, his hands burned through the paper and it disintegrated into smouldering shards that fell to the floor of his office, smoking gently. He felt anger boiling in his stomach, it started low and rose up, into his heart and he stormed out of the room. As he slammed the door, a trail of fire followed his hand and left scorch marks on the wood.  
He tore down the corridor, his hair and robes flying out behind him like wings. Palace staff saw him coming through the hallways and scurried away like meadow voles in the forests.  
With each step his anger grew hotter and hotter inside him, and he breathed out a handful of flame. He didn’t really know where he was going, it wasn’t like there was anyone there to confront about it.

Eventually he found himself in the courtyard, leaning heavily on the cherry tree. In his rage, the braids in his hair had come undone and it was wildly falling around his face. He was breathing deeply, and his anger turned into grief. He collapsed onto the ground and just cried desperately. It seemed like the turtleducks in the pond sensed his despair and paddled over to him, quacking softly. The noise halted the tears and he sniffed loudly.  
He stayed by the pond for a while, trying to understand what had happened, but it was really quite simple. Sokka had ended it with him, that it was over between them.  
Zuko thought that Sokka had probably realised that he was too good for him, that Zuko would never be enough for forever. He realised that Sokka was only really with him because he felt sorry for him and that they were both conveniently in the same place. Sokka had probably realised they were too different, that a boy from the Water Tribe and the Firelord were never meant to be together. Zuko stewed in his mistakes, over-analysing every second of the last months. Maybe he was wrong for ever letting Sokka into his life, for letting anyone in because he always seemed to end up getting hurt.

After a day or three of staying in bed, avoiding everyone and ignoring the world, Zuko was fully wallowing in his own despair and pity. He felt like he deserved it for being such an idiot, thinking that Sokka would ever really be into him.  
“My lord.” A servant very nervously knocked and opened the door. “You have a visitor.”  
Zuko peeked out from underneath the blankets and was ready to shoo the visitor away until he saw Mai stood in the doorway.  
“Hey there your majesty.” She said, making her way through the piles of clothes, scorched fabrics, and other debris all over his floor. “You’re such a drama queen.” She rolled her eyes and sat down on the corner of the bed, unsure where Zuko’s head was under all the sheets.  
“Mhmmm.” He emerged, looking bedraggled and red-faced from all the crying.  
“I heard what happened.” She said quietly, placing her hand on his shoulder. “I won’t ask how you’re doing because the answer is clear but talk to me please. Ty Lee and I are worried about you. So is half the country.”  
“I don’t care what they want from me right now.” He curled up, hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face. “I just want to do nothing forever.”  
“I know, it’s heart wrenching and destructive. But you’ll get through it, I promise. You can’t let it define you, but I know it’s going to take some time. It’ll be hard and it’ll be painful. But it does get easier and you will get over it, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.”  
Zuko smiled softly at her advice. “When did you get so wise, Mai?”  
“How many times did you dump me?” She smiled back, looking at Zuko with a deep compassion. He looked up at her and pulled Mai into a tight hug. He felt like he could maybe get through it all.

After a week of trying to do better and trying to move on, Zuko was feeling a little better. He’d gotten drunk with Mai and Ty Lee, he’d had more than his body weight in tea, and eaten a lot of noodles. But when another letter arrived, he felt like falling back into bed and never moving again.

_Zuko,_

_I’m so sorry for what I said before. I was too harsh, and I was too angry. It was too impulsive, and I didn’t say everything I wanted to._  
_I hate having to do this by letter, but I really don’t think I can keep doing this. Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m not cut out for long distance like this, but I’m afraid it’s not making me happy anymore._  
_I’m not saying I never was; it was perfect for a time but since we’ve been apart, it’s different, and I don’t think it’d change if I came back. I was always a guest in your palace, in the Fire Nation, and maybe because of everything I never felt comfortable there. But here, I am among people who raised me, I’m in the place I really call home._  
_You can’t imagine how hard this is to write, but I’ll never understand what it’ll be like to read this. I’ve tried to be kind, but a breakup never is._

_Once again, I am so sorry._  
_Sokka_.

Seeing the word ‘breakup’ in ink on paper seemed to hit Zuko in the chest like a bolt of Azula’s lightning. The paper fell to the floor and he sobbed gently. No one was there to console him this time, so he curled up on the sofa, hugging a cushion for comfort. It was hard to accept, but perhaps this was closure. Perhaps it would really allow him to move on.  
A month passed, and then another. Two moons waxed and waned and Zuko gradually adjusted to his new, single life. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t simple, and it wasn’t without pain. But he’d faced so much in his life that this was yet another blot on the canvas. It wasn’t a pretty painting of his life, it wasn’t attractive, but it was dramatic and intense, and it had a beauty that was unmatched by everyone. He was, for the most part, moving on, and getting used to a life without Sokka, but also without Katara and Aang being around all the time too. It wasn’t a lonely existence, but it wasn’t as lively as it had been.

Eventually, he decided to clear out all of Sokka’s old things from his room. He kept opening drawers and seeing old clothe and it was stopping him from properly moving on.  
He scooped up an armful of blue fabrics out of a drawer and threw them into a bag, but his aim was terrible and half of if fell to the floor, various other things falling out which had been tangled up in the clothes. A hair band landed on the floor, as well as a mini wooden boomerang and a crumpled sheet of paper with writing all over it.  
Zuko picked it up and turned it over, reading Sokka’s messy handwriting. It was a list of things that he’d wanted them to do as a couple, it was the infamous list that Zuko had always thought was just a joke. Upon recognising it, he dropped to the floor and started reading the tasks they had to complete.

The List (By Sokka of the Water Tribe, assisted by Dr Wang Fire)  
~~1\. Go to the theatre together (Tell Zuko he needs to put more funding into the arts, some of these are terrible)~~  
~~2\. Cook for each other (it still counts if it’s awful (@ me)) (turns out Z is a pretty good cook, but I can’t tell him that because it’ll go to his head)~~  
3\. Take Zuko penguin sledding (we need to go to the South Pole together soon!)  
~~4\. Dinner date~~  
~~5\. Have sex (Nice Nice Nice) (no comment except oh yeaaaaah)~~  
~~6\. Get drunk (possibly linked to above) (can I cross this out more times)~~  
~~7\. Meet each other’s parents (see 14) (the ones that aren’t dead or missing)~~ (still need to properly introduce myself to Loser Lord and Ursa if they ever find her)  
8\. ~~Double date with Aang and Katara (only because they asked) it wasn’t as bad as I thought~~  
~~9\. Double date with Ty Lee and Mai~~  
10\. Teach Zuko to use boomerang  
~~11.~~ ~~Get Zuko to teach me how to use dual swords~~  
~~12\. Ask Katara to teach me how I can do Zuko’s hair~~  
~~13\. Get a pet (Momo, Appa, and Toph don’t count) Apparently having a favourite turtleduck counts as a pet~~  
~~14\. Go on holiday together Apparently a diplomatic mission to the colonies also counts if he gets one day off~~  
15\. Tell Ozai I’m doing his son (looking forward to that one) (only possible after 4)  
~~16\. Steal an item (or three) of Zuko’s clothes~~  
~~17\. Buy Zuko a birthday present~~  
~~18\. Find out when his birthday is (oops)~~  
~~19\. Ask him what really happened that made him turn to our side (apart from Ozai being an iconic piece of shit)~~  
20\. Tell Zuko I’m in love with him

As he read the last words of the list, he felt tears begin to stream down his face. Since Sokka’s last letter, he’d begun to believe that Sokka was never as into their relationship as he was, but now it seemed that it was the other way around. Perhaps that was why Sokka had ended it, because he felt his feelings would never be reciprocated. Or perhaps Zuko was overthinking it, and it was just not working anymore. Reading the list made him reminisce about the good times they had together, from the first public date to the first time they’d slept together, to meeting Hakoda as Sokka’s boyfriend to when Sokka had come back from a day out with Katara and had braided Zuko’s hair. It hadn’t gone very well but the effort was appreciated. That was what had been so good about their relationship, not everything was perfect or had worked out, but they always found a way smile through it.

Holding the paper, he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. He knew he should get rid of it, to properly move on, but a part of him wanted proof that Sokka had loved, that it had been more than just a casual fling. With each task to complete, Sokka had added his own comment about it after it had happened and Zuko could remember every single one, it was like reading a story of your life from someone else’s perspective. He desperately wanted to believe that he would be able to write to Sokka, apologising and understanding, and everything would be better, but he knew that was just a dream floating through his head like a turtleduck in the pond. Another part believed that if he went down the Southern Water Tribe and found Sokka, nothing would really have changed, but this was just another turtleduck dream. Reality, as painful as it was, meant he couldn’t do things like that without ruining more than just the remnants of his and Sokka’s relationship. It would add splashes of intensity and a fear of loneliness to the canvas that was his life. It would show Sokka’s whole tribe that his ex-boyfriend, and the current Firelord, was reckless and insensitive man who couldn’t control his emotions. It would prove their doubters correct, and Zuko was categorically too stubborn to let that happen.  
The decision, as painful and as heart-breaking as it was, had to be that he left Sokka alone. It was emotionally shattering and Zuko’s soul seemed to be thrown into thousands of pieces, but he was strong enough to hold on through it. He held on like he was gripping the railings of a ship sailing through a storm and eventually he made it into the still. He still had the bruises, still had the aches and pains, but they too subsided and he made it into calmer waters. Eventually, he was able to watch the sun set on his relationship with Sokka and he could sleep soundly once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters incoming soon!


	11. I'll lighten the load, carry it for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion stirs up a whirlwind of feelings, and it's not helped by a lack of space

**Seven** **Years Later**

It seemed strange that, in all those months, Zuko and Sokka had never crossed paths. Not once had they had to interact for a diplomatic reason, nor had any of the times the group had been together as friends had they both been able to make it. If life was on their side, she had been making sure there were no awkward encounters nor tense interactions between the two of them. It wasn’t like they’d forgotten about each other, but it did seem that they were being written out of each other’s stories. But it couldn’t last, and the authors of their lives suddenly remembered about a past interest that should be brought back.

“Mai! Ty Lee! Azula!” Zuko shouted from the main hallway, trying to find his sister and his friends in the palace. “Are you ready to leave? We’re going to be late!”  
“Will you stop shouting! We have loads of time!” Azula screeched back, appearing above Zuko at the top of the stairs.  
“If Zuko says it’s time to leave, it probably is.” Mai and Ty Lee arrived in the hallway, palace servants dragging a huge cart of pastel pink luggage.  
“You know we’re only going for a week, Ty Lee? Azula looked at the teetering stack suspiciously.  
“But I need different outfits for different weather!” She defended, looking to her girlfriend for support but Mai rolled her eyes.  
“Also, Druk can only take so much stuff. It’ll take forever to get there if he’s weighed down by your twentieth pair of shoes. Please get rid of some stuff.”  
“Fine, urgh.” She went through the bags and took a few of them out, finally getting Zuko’s approval.

The four of them climbed onto the back of the dragon, his red scales glistening in the bright light, like sun on rippling water. He roared loudly and shot a blade of fire into the air before heavily flapping his wings and taking off into the air.  
As they flew to the Southern Air Temple, Zuko suddenly felt a pang of fear in his stomach. It had been so long, perhaps even too long, since he’d seen Sokka, since he’d seen most of them. In seven years, so much had happened that it would take another seven years to tell. It was, for the most part, a very good seven years, despite the assassination attempts and attempted rebellions from the Ozai fanatics. Him and Azula had become a lot closer, her search for their mother was still ongoing, lead after lead was being chased down but without success. They were wearing thin and giving up seemed like the best road at times, but they persevered, and while Zuko ran the nation, Azula searched for their mother.

They flew through the day and into the evening, the setting sun was mirrored and amplified in the sea below, casting an orange tint on the world around them. They were suspended in a cradle of warmth and tranquillity as they travelled.  
“Are we nearly there yet?” Mai groaned, slightly nauseous from all the flying.  
“Not too long now.” Zuko said from Druk’s neck, while the others were in the specially made saddle on his back.

Soon, islands came into view and the Southern Air Temple loomed out of the twilight. Zuko flew his dragon carefully down to the building and very gently they floated out of the air, landing on a stone courtyard, where Aang, Toph, Iroh, and Suki were waiting. Mai was the first one off the dragon, she quickly stumbled to the edge of the courtyard and retched violently over wall.  
“She’s never got used to it.” Azula jumped nimbly down, followed by Zuko who patted his dragon and threw it a snack, and Ty Lee who dashed over to check that Mai wasn’t going to pass out.  
Aang hugged Zuko tightly, both of them thinking about how much the other had changed. It hadn’t been seven years, but it had been long enough. In turn, the four who had just arrived via dragon hugged the four who were waiting. ‘It’s been too long’, ‘tell me everything’, ‘how are they’ were repeated to around the group, like echoes bouncing off the walls of a cave, until Iroh finally said that they should go inside.

“Where’s Katara? I’m pretty sure you need a bride at wedding?” Azula asked as Aang and Suki took them to their rooms for the week. “No offence Zuzu.” She winked at her brother who scowled.  
“Her and Sokka are coming tomorrow with family, Appa can’t carry most of the Southern Water Tribe.” Aang said. They reached a door at the end of the corridor. “Zuko, this is you. Azula, you’re in the one opposite, and Mai and Ty Lee are down here. Suki can show you.”  
The three women left down the corridor and Azula disappeared into her room to unpack.  
“So,” Zuko began to open his bags and take out the various ceremonial robes and garments. “How are you feeling?”  
Aang sat down on the corner of the bed, breathing out heavily. “I don’t know, I’m very nervous but I’m so excited to start this, I can’t wait to start a life with Katara.” He grinned and drifted off into a daydream about marriage and children and maybe a new airbender… “Sorry, anyway. Can’t give me a sneak peak of your best man speech?”  
Zuko gulped, it was true that he was Aang’s best man, it was true he had to make a speech, it was true he’d thought about writing a speech, it was not true that he’d written it yet. “I’m afraid it’s all a secret.” He was glad that Toph wasn’t there to call out his lies.  
“I’m sure it’ll be amazing. How are you feeling?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“It’s been, what, six years since you and Sokka broke up, and you haven’t seen him in since we left the South Pole that time.”  
"Seven, actually." Zuko admitted he was nervous, but it had been so long that he hoped any animosity had faded and any resentment was dead and buried.

They had dinner together, talking about old times and what had happened that couldn’t be included in a letter. Despite the fact that it had been nearly ten years since the end of the war, and they were now all in their twenties – apart from Uncle Iroh who was “old enough” – Aang and Toph had fallen headfirst into their teens and come out the other side as fairly respectable young adults. The others had grown into themselves, learning that adulthood was really deciding whether or not to spend money on food every day.

Despite all their travelling, Mai, Ty Lee, and Azula had never been to the Southern Air Temple before, so they decided to explore it, dashing through all of the rooms and suspended balconies. It was strange, but Ty Lee felt strangely at home. It was like she’d been there in a past life. She loved swinging over the walls and running along the roofs of the temple.  
While the girls were enjoying the freedom, Zuko was trying to write a best man speech in his room. He knew it shouldn’t be this hard, but for some reason words seemed to disappear as he tried to think of ideas. Aang was his best friend, but it had been a fair while since they’d really spent a lot of time together and all his memories were from some years ago. The paper was blank, the ink was drying, and his head was empty.

Outside, the guests from the Southern Water Tribe had arrived. Sokka and Katara were showing their family to their rooms when suddenly there seemed to not be enough space. It turned out that an extra two cousins had managed to get on board and join the wedding party.  
“What are we gonna do?” Katara asked, stressed about everything as brides are permitted to be.  
“They can take my room.” Offered Sokka. “There’s probably a spare bed somewhere, it’ll be fine.”  
In his head, Aang was remembering the rooms of the temple, visualising them to see if there was a spare anywhere. He was counting the number of guests, the number of spaces. “I think there’s a spare at the end of the corridor on the left.”  
Sokka left with his things, leaving Aang and Katara alone for a minute before Aang suddenly yelled “Oh Agni! That’s Zuko’s room!”

“It’s this one, right?!” Sokka’s voice startled Zuko and he almost knocked over the pot of ink when he stood up. “Oh, hi.” Sokka suddenly noticed him in the room and they were locked in a very intense stare off until Aang and Katara interrupted them.  
“Sorry! Turns out there’s not a space here.” Aang looked awkwardly between them.  
Zuko could feel his heart beating heavily in his chest, it was like a bass drum pounding a rhythm that he thought everyone could hear. Seeing Sokka was like being smacked in the face by boomerang, it hurt, and it shocked him.  
He had changed so much, piercings were scattered around his ears and eyebrows, glinting and glittering in the light. A beard now framed his jawline neatly, enhancing the bones structure that was becoming more and more like his father’s. Now, he also had intricately cut designs in the shaved sides of his head, they resembled traditional water tribe patterns and Zuko thought they were utterly gorgeous. As much as it was good to see Sokka, it was strange too. He didn’t feel the same butterflies in his stomach anymore and his heart didn’t race this time. It was almost numb instead; it was like he’d been stripped of all feeling.  
“Look, sorry about this, I’m sure we can work something out.” Katara was wringing her hands, accidentally flinging water everywhere. “We could put Azula in here to share with you Zuko.”  
“NO!” Azula’s voice was muffled behind her closed door. None of them had realised she was in there.  
“Me and Sokka could share?” Aang suggested, ever the naïve optimist, but the look Katara gave him was so cold, ice seemed to actually appear in the air between them. “…Or not?”  
“This is fine, right?” Sokka looked at Zuko, who considered it, but he realised the adult decision was to let it happen, it would be fine he eventually decided.  
“Yeah, no problem.”

The other two left and Sokka started unpacking his stuff, while Zuko still tried to write his best man speech.  
“So, erm, I’m guessing that’s your dragon chasing Appa round the towers of the temple?” Sokka said and Zuko could feel his nerves crawling around the room.  
“Yeah, that’s Druk.”  
“Can’t believe you have a dragon now, that’s pretty cool.  
“Yeah.”  
Heavy silence.  
“So, I like the piercings.”  
“Thanks. I’d be lying if I said they hadn’t really hurt.”  
More silence.  
“I can sleep on the floor tonight.”  
“Oh, thanks.”  
The conversation ended there, but it had never really started either. They were glad to be interrupted by a call to dinner. 

As dusk fell, Aang, Katara, Toph, Sokka, Zuko, Azula, Mai, Ty Lee, and Suki were sitting around a fire, drinking and talking about what they’d all been up to and how life had changed over the last few years. Aang and Katara were cuddled together on a bench, as were Mai and Ty Lee, and Suki was sitting on the floor resting against Sokka’s legs. Azula and Zuko were leaning on each other while playing with the fire and Toph sat cross-legged on the floor, metal bending a new knife for Mai. They’d found quite the friendship when Toph showed her how she could manipulate metal. Appa, Momo and Druk were flying overhead, occasionally there’d be a flash of light and a loud yelp when the dragon would accidentally breathe fire and scorch the air around Momo.

The glow of the fire on each of their faces was cosy and the sound of their chatter floated up into the night that was growing out of the twilight.  
Zuko was quiet, mostly just listening and watching his friends and family forgetting all their stresses and worries for a moment. They mourned those lost: Jet, Gran Gran, Kya; they wondered about the friends who had disappeared after the war: Smellerbee and Longshot, Guru Pathik, Chit Sang and his friends, so many others; they deliberated about what had happened to some of the enemies they’d faced: the pirates, the Rough Rhinos, even Admiral Zhao, whether he was dead or roaming the spirit world alone.  
Here, with them, right then, Zuko wasn’t the Firelord, Aang wasn’t the Avatar, they weren’t the titles that were supposed to define them, they weren’t exes and ex-enemies or allies. They were just old friends enjoying each other’s company.

It was very late by the time they all went to bed, so late that it had almost become very early.  
“Throw me a couple of cushions and I’ll sleep on the floor.” Sokka said as they arrived back at the room.  
“You’re sure? I don’t mind.” Zuko said, throwing spare pillows at Sokka.  
“It’s fine, I can sleep anywhere, and I don’t think the Fire Lord should be relegated to the floor.” Sokka lay down on the cushions, pulling the sheets over him. Zuko watched him wriggle to try to get comfortable, but it was incredibly unsuccessful and Sokka groaned and fussed.  
“Oh, just sleep here.” Zuko eventually snapped, mostly wanting Sokka to shut up and stop whining.  
“Really?” Sokka’s eyes widened and Zuko seemed to melt on the spot.  
“It’s fine, just don’t steal all the sheets.” Zuko fell back into the bed and fell asleep almost immediately, feeling Sokka’s weight next to him just before he fell out of consciousness.


	12. Everyone Cries at Weddings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding day. Zuko gets caught talking to his dragon and a certain earthbender gives some not too terrible advice.

Warm sunlight. Birdsong. Heavy air. Touching fingers. Messy hair. Sprawled limbs.  
  
Zuko woke first and found Sokka sleeping soundly on next to him. It seemed that in the night, they had moved closed and Zuko’s hand was just brushing Sokka’s. He moved it away quickly, not wanting Sokka to wake up and think anything, not that there was anything going on anyway. It wasn’t a problem seeing him again, but it had definitely brought up certain emotions that he’d hoped he’d lost. He lay in bed for a moment, relishing the peace for a while longer before he sat up and swung his legs out of bed. The movement must have woken Sokka, because he groaned and rolled over.  
“What time is it?” He mumbled, pulling the sheets over his face, covering his eyes from the light.  
“Earlier than you’d like it to be.” Zuko was brushing the tangles out of his hair, ready to be braided later.  
“Urghhhhh.” He sat up looking bewildered and bedraggled.  
Zuko turned around to face him, seeing his ruffled hair and crumpled clothes reminded him of a different time from seven years ago. Sokka pulled off his shirt, and Zuko awkwardly blushed and turned away. “Sorry…”  
“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” Sokka shrugged as he sat topless on the bed.  
“I know but it’s the principle of it.” But Zuko couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of Sokka’s back. It was more muscular than he remembered, but perhaps it was enhanced by the next tattoos that were all over his back. Flowing lines that mimicked water flowing, as well as details of wolves and fish, which seemed to flow with every movement he made. As the muscles flexed while Sokka stretched, the water ebbed and flowed over his back. Along his arms, streams seemed to flood along his skin, like a river cutting through the earth. Zuko was genuinely mesmerised by it, and Sokka nearly caught him staring. Embarrassed and blushing, Zuko dashed out the room, mumbling something about feeding Druk.

High up on a blustery balcony, Zuko was feeding his dragon and talking to himself.  
“I’m such an idiot oh agni, why did I let this happen? I knew it was going to be a bad idea letting him sleep in the same bed. I should have just shared with Azula or something. Urghhh I am such an idiot. I don’t know what to do, there’s no way he feels it again, and you don’t either. He’s the one that broke up with you, remember? He’s the one that ended it first. But also, it kinda didn’t every definitively end, maybe I shouldn’t have taken his letters as so final. Maybe I could talk to him but that’s a terrible idea, it’ll just make everything worse. But what do I even say to him? I don’t know how I feel but maybe I just tell him the truth?! Why am I such a disaster…why didn’t I make better decisions all those years ago?”  
“Because you didn’t have the luxury of hindsight then.” A voice said behind him, causing Zuko to spin around, holding two daggers of fire. “I don’t even have the luxury of sight so stop complaining.” Toph continued as Zuko relaxed.  
“How long have you been there?” He asked, sounding tired despite it being early morning.  
“Long enough.” She shrugged and made herself a stone seat, gesturing for Zuko to come and sit down with her. He let Druk fly up into the open air and went to sit down next to Toph.  
“What do you want Toph?”  
“You seem depressed and I hear it’s good for people to talk about these things.” She shrugged and took an apple out of her pocket, biting into it.  
Zuko smirked at her cynicism. “Urgh, fine. I haven’t seen Sokka in over seven years and I thought it would be fine but seeing him again makes me feel something. I don’t know, it’s strange. I’ve been single for so long now I don’t even know how to have a relationship.”  
“You and me both buddy.” She punched him in the arm, he knew it was a show of affection but it still hurt.  
“Ow.”  
“Oh boohoo. It just seems like you’re feeling nostalgic for him, it’s been a really long time so of course you’re going to feel something. Just fucking tell him how you feel so it’s not awkward.”  
“I think the fuck not.” Zuko said, crossing his arms.  
“Don’t be a wimp.”  
“It’s not that hard.”  
Toph was annoying him so much that he just snapped at her “It’s not like you have any experience in relationships.”  
“Fuck you Zuko.” She threw the half-eaten apple at his head, hitting him square in the jaw.  
The impact shocked him and he picked bits of fruit out of his hair and clothes. “Ew. I’m sorry, I didn’t really mean that.”  
“No, it’s okay. I don’t really, I just don’t really like getting attached to people. People leave and let you down. And I’m busy too, it takes all my energy to teach metalbending to useless earth benders. I don’t know, I’ve met plenty of people who I could imagine a relationship with, but I’m just kinda terrible at getting to know people. I’m very good at a lot of things, being single is one of them I guess.”  
Behind her scruffy hair, Zuko could see Toph’s forlorn expression and he punched her lightly on the arm. “Relationships aren’t not all they’re cracked up to be. But don’t tell Aang or Katara, they’ve put a lot of work into this wedding. But we should probably get going, I’d bet Suki has some tasks for us and between you and me, I’m scared of her.”  
She smiled and they walked back inside, going in opposite directions along the corridors.  
“Talk to him, he’ll understand.” Toph said, before disappearing down some steps.

Back in his – their – room, Zuko had laid out all his robes for the ceremony on the bed. Shades of red melted into black with a contrast against gold, detailed embroidery of dragons and fire added depth on the layers of silk; Toph had made some gold arm ornaments that snaked over his skin like his veins were made of pure fire. He’d designed it himself with the help of Ty Lee. He didn’t want to upstage Aang or Katara but he still wanted to look good for his friends. It was traditional for the Fire Nation, but it was also new, it symbolised a new era for the nation, but also a new era for their lives.  
As he was changing, Sokka came into the room, freezing when he saw Zuko in his Fire Nation finery. As the silence stretched, it became more awkward to say something, but thankfully Sokka was more confident than Zuko.  
“You look nice.”  
“Thanks.” Zuko sat down opposite a mirror, ready to try and do his hair like Katara had shown him before. In the reflection, he could see Sokka moving behind him, getting his own outfit out for the ceremony. If he wasn’t busy with braids and hair bands, he would have subtly watched Sokka getting dressed.  
“Hey, look, I’m sorry about kinda just turning up and then deciding it would be fine for us to share. I should have asked or got someone to check at least.” Sokka suddenly said after another silence had enveloped them.  
Zuko’s hands were tangled in his hair, so he couldn’t turn around but he caught Sokka’s eye in the reflection. “You didn’t have to. Everyone always seems to tread on eggshells around me, I’m not going to break and suddenly become my father. It’s been years Sokka, it’s fine.”  
“I know, but it’s a courtesy thing.” Sokka shrugged and finished changing. Zuko thought he looked incredible in his robes, looking at him in the mirror. An icy blue kimono was layered with dark blue silks and a heavier leather jacket over the top, trimmed with white furs. He had a moon embroidered on each item in various ways, just adding interesting details everywhere. Silver jewellery wound around his arms, following the lines of his watery tattoos. It was a more traditional ensemble than Zuko’s, it was a way of preserving their tribe’s heritage even after this new stage in life for Katara and their family.  
Zuko blinked and tried to go back to doing his hair, which was actually cooperating and he finally finished tying the braids into the top knot.  
“…It’s just I feel like I sprung this on you and it’s been a long time since we spoke, I didn’t know if you’d been alright.” Apparently, Sokka had continued talking while Zuko was gazing at him.  
“Sokka, it’s fine. It’s been so long that I don’t even care anymore.” He sighed, putting down a comb.  
“Oh. Right. Well. I guess I’ll see you at the ceremony.” Sokka abruptly left, leaving Zuko wondering what he had done. But now was not the time to stop to consider, and he made his way downstairs, reciting his best man speech in his head.

Downstairs and outside on a large balcony, Zuko was greeted by a stressed Suki. She was in fully Kyoshi makeup and outfit, looking slightly threatening but stunning anyway. He was directed to the front of the courtyard, where Aang was playing with Momo.  
“Don’t you clean up well.” Zuko said, surprising his best friend.  
“Oh monkeyfeathers, don’t scare me like that.” Aang said, hugging Zuko. In the last seven years, Aang had grown taller than both Zuko and Sokka, and now he practically towered above them, but to Zuko, he would always seem like a younger brother. Yellow and orange robes were artistically draped around him, traditional airbender designs were carved into wooden fastenings which held it all together; there were also touches of blue, red, and green to symbolise the other nations, just subtly showing how he was the one to bring the balance. Toph had created some phenomenally detailed silver metalwork which bent around his arms, emphasising the blue of the tattoos. It was, undoubtedly, the perfect combination of his own culture with details from the rest of the world.  
Soon, after greeting the guests at the entrance, Zuko and Aang were stood at the front, looking out over the sea of people in the seats. The front rows were reserved for exclusively close family and friends, particularly those friends they considered family. The sun was shining down on them, the light scattered its way through the leaves of the trees and the flowers which were cascading over the walls – put up by Suki, who was exceptionally proud of her hard work. She’d worked so hard to get it right for Aang and Katara, and by tui and la, she had done everything perfectly.  
Suki waved at Zuko from the end of the aisle, and he nudged Aang. “Here we go.” He also tapped his uncle on the shoulder, he was officiating and it didn’t help to have him halfway through a cup of tea.  
A tsungihorn played gently through the breeze, and Sokka and Suki walked down to the front. Suki stood opposite Aang and Zuko, winking at them both. Sokka sat down in the front row, with Toph on his left. Zuko tried to smile at him, but his gaze was averted, looking anywhere but Zuko. It would have mattered at any other time, but this wasn’t any other time.  
The music continued, and Zuko saw Katara and Hakoda start to make their way down the aisle to the music. Katara looked absolutely stunning, a long sapphire dress with silver and white embroidery that glittered in the sunlight. She looked like the sparkle of sunbeams on water, like the moonlight reflecting on ice, like the twinkle of stars in the night.  
Zuko glanced at Aang, who’s eyes were glistening with tears the sight of his beautiful bride. Then he glanced at the group of guests, particularly the front row. A mix of Fire Nation, Earth Kingdom, and Water Tribe colours created a bright pattern. Each of them had a huge smile and tears in their eyes, just in awe of the beauty and the pure joy of the moment. Zuko wiped away a single tear and hugged Aang tightly before sitting down and letting another stage of their lives start.


	13. How Bright Burns a Spark, Even After Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding brings out all kinds of emotions in the two of them, Zuko pours his heart out and Sokka can’t believe his ears. They get some closure, but as one door closes, another is nudged open. (Basely loosely on true events)

“...I’ve known Aang and Katara for nearly ten years, but I think we all know I haven’t been friends with them for quite that long. But I was honoured when Aang asked me to be his best man.” Zuko began his speech, hands shaking and palms sweaty. For some reason he could do state speeches in front of hundreds of his citizens, but a personal one before his friends and family was terrifying. The first part of his speech was mostly embarrassing stories of Aang, but it then became incredibly personal. Zuko’s heart was on his sleeve and he’d emptied his heart into his words.   
“I spent a lot of time hating who I was, but meeting Aang was what helped me begin to doubt and question everything. I know that doesn’t sound very important, but he’s the kind of person who makes you see the world at its best. Knowing Aang, you start seeing the happier moments, and the better parts of life. It’s incredible really, but he’s not an excitable child anymore, I mean he never really, but he loves with a passion that is unparalleled, he’d do anything for his friends and family, and I cannot imagine how lucky Katara is to have met him. But he’s just as lucky to have met her. So fiercely protective of her family, but so caring and loving, that I can’t imagine a better pair. These two could save the world twice over without any help, but let’s hope they don’t have to,” He turned to Aang and Katara, who were smiling broadly at him. “And you’ll always have the rest of us, no matter what. We will be here for you both forever.” 

After dinner, after the various speeches, after all children had gone to bed, after the official parts were over, the riotous party started inside one of the huge halls in the temple. Initially, Katara had been reluctant to hold it there, but Aang had insisted that it was a place of enjoyment and fun, and without the Air Nomads, they needed something to fill the cavernous rooms. 

Music played and drinks flowed, they danced and they sang. Zuko was trying to keep up with Ty Lee’s energetic and acrobatic choreography, but after all the wine, he was not doing well.   
“I’mmm going to get some aiiiiir.” He wheezed breathlessly, slightly staggering out of the room and upstairs to an open balcony. The tipsy Firelord collapsed onto a bench, dropping his head between his knees to gulp in the cold air. Zuko sat there for a moment, just cooling off and calming down, as much as he loved the party, it became very loud and overwhelming after a while. He drunkenly daydreamed a little, about other lives where he’d never joined the Avatar, or where he’d joined them earlier, but he was interrupted by the sound of someone else stumbling out onto the terrace. 

Zuko turned to see a tipsy Sokka wander over the stones and lean over the stone railings. The moon shined brightly on his face and his clothes, lighting up the embroidery. Zuko was reminded of the first time they’d gone up to the tiny balcony on the roof of the fire nation. He smiled with nostalgia, until Sokka suddenly noticed him sitting there.   
“Oh, hi.”   
“Hi.” Zuko said nervously.   
“I’ll go, leave you alone, not caring about anything or anyone.” Sokka snapped, turning to leave, but Zuko couldn’t miss an opportunity to get some closure or a fight. To be perfectly honest, he was drunk enough for either an argument or getting some answers.   
“Sokka, wait. Please.”   
“What?” Sokka retorted, the moonlight casting sharp shadows over his face.   
Zuko stood up, robes and hair blowing gently in the wind. “Talk to me, please. Tell me what’s going on.”  
“Like you’d care.” Sokka snarled, it was side that Zuko hadn’t really seen before, especially not directed at him.   
For a moment he didn’t reply, just in shock of Sokka’s tone. But then he realised why he seemed to be in so much trouble. “Is this about what I said this morning? When I said I didn’t care about the beds? Tui and La!”  
Sokka didn’t reply, he just stood there watching Zuko with a careful and controlled gaze.   
“I don’t care, Sokka! It’s been seven years, I stopped caring a long time ago. You ended it with me, you were the one to say it was over. I had to learn to live without you! I didn’t care that we shared a bed, I didn’t care about seeing you again, and I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you! Unless… you still care? Unless you…” Zuko trailed off, his last words barely above a whisper. Silence blew on the wind around them, curling through Zuko’s raven black hair and over Sokka’s rich amber skin. Looking into Sokka’s eyes, even in the fading light, Zuko could see a blend of emotions, but the one thing he understood was that he was right.   
“You do, don’t you?” He whispered on a breath.   
“How could I not?! I heard stories of you over the last few years from Aang, I never stopped wanting to be a part of your life. You meant so much to me. Fuck, you still do!”   
“But you broke up with me! I don’t get it Sokka!” Zuko gestured dramatically, sparks literally flying. He was so confused, but he was getting both the answers and the argument he wanted a bit.   
“I broke up with you because I didn’t feel worthy of you! All your letters saying all the stuff you were doing in the Fire Nation, all the good you were doing and all the lives you were changing, I felt so insignificant next to you! How do you think it feels when your boyfriend is one of the most powerful people in the world?!”  
“I don’t know, ask Katara if you want that answer! Sokka, I… I thought I wasn’t worthy of you! You stayed to rebuild your home, to grow your culture, I was so in awe of you! I felt like I always loved you more than you loved me! And then you broke with me, BY LETTER, and I knew I was right, so I learned to move on and stop caring!”   
“You…you loved me?” Sokka whispered.  
“Of course I did.” Zuko’s voice was quieter now. His head was spinning with adrenaline, this was the break-up argument they’d never got to have before. But it was also more personal, it was the satisfaction of knowing the truth about it that had given him such emotional momentum. 

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Sokka scowled, his brow furrowing, deepening the shadow over his eyes.  
“Oh, I don’t know,” Zuko’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. “Maybe because I was an eighteen-year-old kid with a lifetime of abandonment issues from people I love, or maybe I was just terrified you wouldn’t say it back and we’d be stuck like that forever. I don’t know Sokka, why didn’t you tell me?”   
“How did you know?”   
“I found the list.”   
“Oh my spirits…” Sokka sighed and dropped his head. “You were never supposed to see that.”   
"But I did. I wish you’d said something back then. Maybe we wouldn’t be here now.” Zuko turned away and leaned on the wall, looking over the edge into the darkness below. He breathed deeply, not wanting to continue arguing with Sokka. It was tiring and draining, and this was supposed to be a happy occasion, it was Aang and Katara’s wedding for Agni’s sake.   
Suddenly, Sokka’s voice was close behind him. “Zuko, I still care about you.” He whispered into his ear. Zuko could feel the breath of each word flutter against his skin. He turned around to face him, their noses were inches apart, their bodies were almost touching.   
“I always will, even if you hate me, if you resent me, if you feel nothing for me, I will always care.” Breathed Sokka desolately, barely visible in the darkness. 

Something pulled on Zuko’s heartstrings: Sokka’s voice, soft like the furs he wore; his words, empathetic like his sister; his vulnerability, exposed like they were on the edge of the balcony; or merely his presence, honest like these last moments. All the wine he’d drunk was still swimming around his body and perhaps it was what made him act so impulsively.   
He didn’t say anything, he didn’t consider anything before pulling Sokka into a passionate kiss. Sokka froze for a second until his hands were suddenly in Zuko’s hair, holding his face, pulling him closer. Zuko drew Sokka in tighter, trying to get him as close to his body as possible, but he leaned back too far and lost his balance, nearly falling over the edge, taking Sokka with him.   
“Woah!” Sokka yelled, pulling Zuko back up by the wrist, their jewellery hooking together and pressing into their arms. “Ow!” Sokka untangled the metal once Zuko was upright.  
“Sorry.” Zuko’s conscious kicked in and he abruptly realised how much of a mistake he’d made by kissing Sokka. He tried to hurry away from his shame, but Sokka’s hand was still holding his wrist. “I made a mistake, just let me go.”   
“Zuko, don’t go. What if we had… you know… just one last night together?”   
The Firelord considered it, it could give some closure, it could be forgotten into old memories. It certainly wouldn’t hurt either of them. “Okay, but later, I want to spend more time with our friends tonight, it is your sister’s big day.” 

The two of them returned to the party where everyone was still dancing and revelling. It had felt like a lifetime had passed outside but in reality, it had barely been twenty minutes. Zuko and Sokka were pulled into a dance with the rest of their friends – too drunk to notice them sneaking in together. The group, the extended and improved version of Team Avatar were riotous and euphoric. They twirled and they bopped; they sang old folk songs with Uncle Iroh and Bato; they bended water, air, fire, and earth into stupid shapes; they slow danced to Leaves on the Vine and blew a kiss to the moon spirit for her blessing.   
Eventually, it was just a few of them left and Zuko and Sokka made drunk eye contact across the room. Sokka left first, hugging everyone and then staggering back to their room. Zuko left a few minutes later, also hugging everyone before he went. He slipped out of the party, following Sokka to the room. 

Once the door was closed behind them, Sokka pushed Zuko against it with a kiss. It was messy and it was drunk but they really didn’t care. Zuko’s arms were wrapped around Sokka’s neck while Sokka’s were holding Zuko’s waist.   
Zuko could feel himself getting more and more turned on, and he was sure Sokka knew it too because he felt Sokka’s hips grind into his, sending a shiver all through his body. The feeling of his ex-boyfriend on him was intoxicating but he still had a sliver of a doubt in his head.   
“Wait, wait, wait.” Zuko pulled back from Sokka’s lips, his face raw from the roughness of Sokka’s beard.   
“What?” Sokka’s eyes filled with concern and he leaned away from Zuko.  
“Are you really about this?” He slurred slightly, but it was still coherent.   
“I am, I really am.” Sokka slurred back. “You still are?”   
“Of course.” And with that confirmation, Zuko pulled Sokka down onto him, kissing him again and again and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is veeeeery smuty and nsfw - the details of it aren't plot relevant so feel free to skip to chapter 15 once it's posted if you don't want to read it.


	14. Pleasure and Euphoria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn without plot – feel free to skip this chapter if you don’t want to read this, it doesn’t have any specific plot points that aren’t included before or after   
> (also I’ve decided that Sokka invented lube because u know ;) )

Once the door was closed behind them, Sokka pushed Zuko against it with a kiss. It was messy and it was drunk but they really didn’t care. Zuko’s arms were wrapped around Sokka’s neck while Sokka’s were holding Zuko’s waist. He felt wanted in Sokka’s grip and it was incredible; then Zuko felt Sokka pull his legs up around his waist, and his feet weren’t on the floor. The sensation of being held like that gripped him in the stomach, making him breathe deeply. Zuko felt his heart race and his breathing pace as Sokka held him while they kissed. Something about that raw and unadulterated strength was so hot and sexy that Zuko’s blood pumped more powerfully through his veins. Pushing the fabric of his robes aside, Sokka began to kiss Zuko’s neck, somewhere that was particularly sensitive at times like these, and it made him squirm with anticipation. He moaned lightly and exhaled shakily. “Bed. Now.” He whispered between Sokka’s kisses. Sokka did as he was told and carried him to the large mattress, dropping Zuko on his back, before climbing on top and straddling him.   
Zuko could feel himself getting more and more turned on, and he was sure Sokka knew it too because he felt Sokka’s hips grind into his, sending a shiver all through his body. The weight and feeling of his ex-boyfriend on top of him was intoxicating but he still had a sliver of a doubt in his head.   
“Wait, wait, wait.” Zuko pulled back from Sokka’s lips, his face raw from the roughness of Sokka’s beard.   
“What?” Sokka’s eyes filled with concern and he leaned away from Zuko.  
“Are you really about this?” He slurred slightly, but it was still coherent.   
“I am, I really am.” Sokka slurred back. “You still are?”   
“Of course.” And with that confirmation, Zuko pulled Sokka down onto him, kissing him again and again and again. 

Suddenly, robes were being taken off and red and blue fabrics were mixed together in heaps around the room, jewellery was removed, and the lust was sitting heavily in the air.   
Sokka started kissing Zuko’s neck again, his lips softly tickling the sensitive skin. He sucked gently, leaving love bites that would last beyond the morning. Still on top of Zuko, he began to work his way down his chest, past the explosion of a scar on his torso and down to his hard cock. Zuko lay back, his fingers in Sokka’s hair, holding his head as he wrapped his lips around the tip. The sensation of Sokka’s tongue running up and down the shaft, tracing the veins made Zuko squirm. His whole length was in Sokka’s mouth and he could feel himself edging closer.   
Not wanting to cut this short, he tugged on Sokka’s hair, telling him to stop. Sokka obliged and went back to kissing him intensely. Their kisses were forceful and sloppy; Zuko bit Sokka’s lip; Sokka placed more kisses on Zuko’s neck, both of them trembling with anticipation. Zuko was so turned on. It had been, a while.   
“Turn over.” Sokka ordered, rasping into Zuko’s ear. Zuko practically purred and did as he was told. 

Zuko was on his front, kneeling on the bed. He felt Sokka’s arms reach around him, starting to stroke up and down his cock, edging him closer and closer to finishing.   
Zuko moaned, his voice barely above a whisper. “Fuck me, Sokka.”   
Sokka let go of Zuko’s cock and suddenly pulled Zuko’s hair, yanking his head back. “I’m the one who gives the orders around here.” He growled into Zuko’s ear, doing nothing but make Zuko even more horny. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk in the morning.” He continued and Zuko felt pre-cum drip onto the sheets. He could feel Sokka’s hard cock brushing against his bare ass, close to his hole but not quite there. The tension was almost touchable.   
“Please…” Zuko whispered. “I’m begging you.”   
“Then beg.” Sokka ordered, one hand still pulling on Zuko’s hair and the other was stroking up and down his stomach, edging closer and closer to his cock.   
Zuko could hardly get the words out. “Fuck me, please. I want you to fuck me hard, so hard I can’t sit down for days. I want you to pull my hair and cum all over me.”   
Sokka leaned down so his mouth was next to Zuko’s ear. “I’m going to fuck you like the little slut you are.” He hissed, knowing that it would just make Zuko even more aroused. And, by agni, it worked.   
“Fuck me, please, Sokka.” 

Sokka took some lubricant out of a bottle on the floor and covered his cock with it. He wrapped Zuko’s hair around one hand and Zuko felt Sokka inside of him finally. They both moaned loudly with euphoria. The feeling of Sokka pulling his hair while rhythmically thrusting inside of him was getting Zuko closer and closer to coming. Sokka’s hips pushing into his, with each push Sokka was getting closer and closer too. He yanked Zuko’s hair back, pulling his head upwards so Zuko was looking at the ceiling.  
Their bodies moved synchronously; Sokka was deeply thrusting into Zuko, while also quickly rubbing his cock up and down with his free hand, creeping Zuko closer and closer to finishing. Zuko’s heart was pounding in his chest, and Sokka’s breathing was short and harsh; the whole experience was so much better than it had been before, both of them knew what they were doing now, they knew each other’s bodies better. It was ecstasy. Zuko felt an orgasm build up in his cock, and he forced out four words.   
“I’m going to cum.” As he said it, Sokka increased his pace on Zuko’s cock and pulled out of him about to cum too. Zuko felt his orgasm in his cock and as he finally came, he moaned ferally, cum dripping onto the sheets below them. Seconds later, Sokka made a similar noise and Zuko felt the warm liquid land on his back.   
“Oh, fuck.” Sokka exhaled, kissing Zuko’s back. “Don’t move.” He said, grabbing a cloth to wipe away the cum. 

Zuko rolled onto his back, and Sokka dropped next to him, sweaty and tired; Zuko’s hair was a black mess around his head and Sokka’s ponytail had come out, his russet hair dropping over his face. They were both breathing heavily, hearts thumping with energy and adrenaline.   
“Fuck me.” Breathed Zuko, closing his eyes.   
“Not again.” Sokka replied quietly, also closing his eyes.   
“Oh agni, I’ve missed that.” Zuko exhaled, just relishing the moment.   
“Stop talking Zuko, you’ll ruin it.” Sokka said, about to fall asleep.   
Zuko turned his head to look at Sokka. It was dark but there was enough light from the moon and stars for him to study Sokka’s face in detail. It was different to the face he’d fallen for all those years ago; his cheekbones now looked like they could cut glass, his eyes were set solidly in his head, but still piercingly blue, like the icy waters around his home. Sokka looked back at Zuko, staring at the damaged and scarred skin around his eye. It didn’t physically hurt Zuko anymore, at least not usually, but sometimes, when his hair was down and covering it, he would pretend that it wasn’t there.   
Sokka’s fingers stroked Zuko’s cheek softly, tracing the edges of the wound. Zuko gulped, sensitive to Sokka’s touch, but so tired that he fell asleep quickly, with Sokka falling out of consciousness moments later.


	15. The Myth About Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after raises questions and confusion about where they should go from here. Then everything changes.

Jumbled sheets. Tousled hair. Entangled limbs. Heavy breathing. Scattered clothes. Aching heads.  
Sokka groaned quietly and rolled over, taking the sheets on the bed with him. The exposure to the air woke Zuko who gently pulled them back without waking Sokka. In his hungover delirium, he didn’t really register the current situation, and went back to sleep for another hour.

When he woke again, he found Sokka staring at his back, at his tattoos. Two dragons snaked their way over his spine and muscles, one red and one blue, symbolising the origins of firebending and the enlightenment he’d had at the temple of the sun warriors. There was a sun inked at the base of his neck, between the shoulder blades which the creatures seemed to be perpetually flying towards. The details of their scales rippled as he moved and the ink seemed to shimmer in the cascading sunlight.  
“Um, morning?” He said, everything suddenly coming back to him from the previous night.  
“I can’t believe I didn’t see these last night.” Sokka whispered, still staring at the ink designs on his back.  
“I mean, we were otherwise occupied.” Zuko stared at the ceiling, thinking about the night.  
Sokka didn’t reply, he didn’t even look at Zuko. They lay there in silence for a while, until they heard voices pass their room, their friends going downstairs for breakfast and to send Aang and Katara off on their honeymoon.  
“We should join them.” Sokka eventually said, sitting up and putting his hair back up. Zuko followed suit and tied his hair in a messy topknot. The two men rummaged through the piles of clothes on the floor, awkwardly handing each other underwear and robes while they dressed. Eye contact was avoided and the quiet in the room was thunderously uncomfortable. Sleeping together was supposed to be a one off, an impulsive act that would give them some closure, but now it seemed they didn’t really know what to do.  
Before leaving, Zuko stopped Sokka, not wanting the awkwardness to continue over breakfast.  
“This was fun, it was really good. But this isn’t going to happen again. This felt like closure and I’m fine with that.” He said, his hangover still squeezing his head.  
Sokka sighed with relief, “Good, because I am too. I think I’m done with us, with this. I’m happy to stay friends, if you are?”  
“Of course.”  
They both left, but not before Zuko pulled his clothes up around neck, covering the polka dots of love bites Sokka had left on him.

Downstairs, Zuko and Sokka found most of their friends silently eating various fried doughy foods, all looking like the world was about to end. Zuko suddenly realised how bad he actually felt and dropped heavily into one of the chairs, grabbing some bread. He chewed it slowly, the nausea was setting in now. A retching sound from the corner of the room made everyone jump and then groan loudly.  
“Urgh, Suki.” Mai groaned, barely lifting her head off the table.  
“Sorry.” She muttered, leaning over a bucket with other Kyoshi warrior gently rubbing her back.  
Sokka, not normally one to turn down food, took a bite of a deep-fried pasty but almost immediately spat it out, the nausea in his stomach protesting at the attempt to eat. Only Ty Lee and Aang seemed like the ones who were even vaguely okay, and they were trying to get everyone else to recount last night’s revelry.  
“Babe, please just stop talking.” Katara grumbled, very slowly sipping a cup of tea.  
Aang stroked the back of her head and softly kissed her forehead. “Sorry.”  
Zuko looked across at the newlyweds, rings – also made by Toph – now on their fingers. He smiled softly at them, so unbelievably happy for them.

By lunchtime, everyone, except Suki, was feeling a lot better. Several cups of restoring tea from Uncle Iroh and a variety of foods had helped, as well a fresh air and a nap or two. Outside, on highest balcony, they were all stood waiting for Aang and Katara to set off on their honeymoon to some of the places they’d visited as children. Suki was leaning on Sokka and Zuko, who was holding a bucket in case she hurled again. There was no tension between them, no resentment, no bitterness, just the start of a new friendship, or so they hoped.  
Aang and Katara arrived, carrying two bags which they threw into Appa’s saddle.  
“Have a wonderful time you two.” Hakoda hugged them both tightly, handing Katara a small parcel of food and gifts from him and the rest of their family. The newlyweds were hugged by everyone in turn, some of them giving them small presents to take with them.  
“When you come back, I’d like to be an uncle to be.” Sokka joked as he hugged Katara, who scowled at him, but Aang winked mischievously.  
Zuko embraced Aang too, he’d miss him dearly, but with his newly restored friendship with Sokka, he wouldn’t be so lonely.  
Aang and Katara climbed onto Appa, sitting next to each other behind the reigns.  
“Yip yip!” Aang called and the great sky bison flew into the air. The group below waved them off, smiling at the ‘Just married’ sign that someone – Sokka – had hung on the back of Appa.

They all spent the afternoon and early evening in a largely sedentary state, still recovering from the buckets of wine that they’d consumed the night before.  
Zuko was chatting to his sister on a sunny balcony, they were talking about the search for their mother, which was still proving almost impossible.  
“Zuzu, I’m just scared we’re going to be searching forever.” Azula said, her expectations low.  
“I know, I really do. There’s nothing more in this world I want that to find her, but I get that the world is big and it was like two decades ago that she left.”  
“She never said anything to you about where she might be going?”  
“I didn’t even know she’d gone. It wasn’t like we’d conspired to murder grandfather.”  
Azula snorted with laughter. “Now I’m imagining you and mother plotting a murder while feeding the turtleducks.”  
“I thought about killing dad by that pond a lot.” Zuko shrugged.  
“That’s fair, he’s an asshole. You know, we could try to get him to talk about where she is. We haven’t tried that in a while, maybe he’s changed.” It was a surprisingly optimistic suggestion from Azula.  
“I doubt it, but I’ll give it a go.”  
“I’m going to carry on searching with June, I like seeing the world like this.”  
“Aaaand you really like spending time with her!’ Zuko teased in a sing-song voice.  
“She’s very cool and interesting, okay. Speaking of spending time with people, I see you and Sokka are on better terms now, anything going on there…?” She pried, trying to get her brother to spill all the gossip.  
Zuko smirked sarcastically. “No. We’re good now, nothing special. Just friends.”  
“Riiiiight.” Azula was sceptical but didn’t have any evidence to doubt her brother. Zuko, on the other hand, was glad Toph wasn’t there to call out his lies. They carried on talking well into the evening, teasing each other and giving some proper sensible advice, like siblings can shift between in a moment.

The siblings joined everyone else for dinner. Toph, Iroh and Suki were leaving that evening, sailing back to Kyoshi Island and then on to Ba Sing Se. More food and more hugs were exchanged, no gifts except for a bucket which Suki was cradling, her face still a gentle green tinge.  
“See you soon!” The rest of them shouted as the boat left the harbour. They knew they probably would, or at least, their drunken selves had all promised to get together at least twice a year to properly catch up, rather than always waiting for special occasions like this one. The seven of them who remained were stood in the twilight on a veranda, watching the sun set and the moon rise. Zuko noticed how Sokka’s gaze always lingered when he watched the moon, as if he were waiting for someone to appear.

Back in their room, Zuko was lying on his back, drawing with sparks in the air above him. He drew a dragon and a wolf, he drew flames and ice, he drew random swirls and patterns that matched the embroidery on his wedding outfit.  
Midway through drawing the Fire Nation palace, Sokka entered into the room, dropping down onto the bed next to Zuko.  
“This always was my favourite thing you could do.” He said, watching Zuko’s finger create sparking lines in the air that burned and fizzed for a second before dissipating.  
They lay next to each other for a while, Zuko designing and painting more images with fire. He drew some of his own ideas: the fire nation emblem, tea being poured, the jasmine dragon logo; and he was ordered by Sokka to draw some other things as well: a boomerang flying through the air, traditional water tribe patterns like on betrothal necklaces.  
“No! It’s more down and THEN across!” Sokka grabbed Zuko’s hand forced it in the direction he wanted it to go. Zuko felt a bolt of electricity shoot down his spine when Sokka touched him, but he thought it was probably just the shock of the touch.  
“Why don’t you do it, if you’re so great?” Zuko joked.  
“You know I can’t.” Sokka said sadly, dropping his hands down and resting them on his stomach, awkwardly twiddling his thumbs.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” Zuko realised that he’d taken his ability for granted. “Wait, didn’t you do all of these yourself?” He asked, pointing to the designs shaved into Sokka’s hair.  
“Yeah, so?” Sokka huffed.  
“They’re actually amazing, like I couldn’t do that.” Zuko said, trying to cheer Sokka up. “I might be able to draw a dragon but I couldn’t actually cut my own hair like that.”  
Sokka rolled over to face him, “You really mean that?” He pouted.  
“I do, I think they’re gorgeous, Sokka. They really are.” Zuko whispered, their faces close.  
Silence. Then a kiss.

“Monkeyfeathers.” Zuko swore almost as soon as he woke up, once again tangled in sheets. Sokka was asleep on his chest, arms wrapped around his torso. It had happened again and it really shouldn’t have, Zuko thought. It was a mistake that would lead to more mistakes and they’d end up in a spiral of regret and guilt, unable to move on. But they could deal with that later, for now he let Sokka continue to doze on his chest.  
Moments and minutes later, Sokka woke too and, like Zuko, swore as soon as he gained consciousness. “Oh, tui and la.” He extracted himself from the sheets and sat on the side of the bed. “I can’t believe we did it again.” He sighed, pulling on some clothes.  
“We weren’t even drunk this time.” Zuko said, also getting dressed, checking in the mirror for any more love bites on his neck.  
“Okay, so we say that we had to do it sober to get proper closure, I mean we sensibly decided that having sex would be a good idea and a way to make sure there weren’t any lingering feelings. It won’t happen again.” Sokka weakly reasoned, but Zuko needed an excuse to tell himself, and he decided to play along. He didn’t think he felt anything for Sokka anymore, it was just nice to have good sex again and to have his friend back.

“Oh, Zuko! Can I borrow you for a moment?” Hakoda saw him and Sokka walking down one of the corridors after they’d had breakfast.  
Zuko turned around, surprised to see Sokka’s father and confused why he wanted to talk to him. “Um, sure? I guess I’ll see you later?” He said to Sokka. “What is it, Chief Hakoda?” Zuko walked with the older man outside onto another of the courtyard spaces.  
“Please, when are you going to stop calling me Chief Hakoda?”  
“When you’re not Chief anymore.” Zuko replied, as Hakoda gestured for them to sit down on a bench together. “What can I do for you?”  
“I hate to mix business and pleasure, but I may not see you again for a while and this seemed better discussed in person. Down in the Water Tribe, we have been thinking that we need more representation across the other nations. Given my daughter is now married to the last airbender, we think we’ve got that covered, the Earth Kingdom might take some cracking but I believe that Suki and Toph may be able to help. But it would be good to have a clearer connection with the Fire Nation.” Zuko nodded and listened, Hakoda’s ideas were sensible and would not only help the Water Tribe but also present an image of cooperation and globalisation of the Fire Nation.  
Hakoda continued, “I think having an Ambassador or a similar role would be ideal, someone who knows the Water Tribe and understands our culture. I can’t think of any one right now, but perhaps in a few days I will write with some recommendations and you can choose? Afterall, it needs to be a joint effort.”  
“That sounds like a brilliant idea, perhaps establishing someone in the Fire Nation would also help you to persuade the Earth Kingdom too, it would show a more permanent alliance. Feel free to choose yourself, I trust your judgement and whoever you pick.” Zuko said, making a mental note to tell his councillors as soon as he returned.  
“Thank you, Lord Zuko. I will get back to you with my choice a few days after we are home.”  
“Please, just call me Zuko, I insist, we’re not really in our official capacities here.”  
“Only if you stop calling me Chief Hakoda.” They both laughed uncomfortably as they walked back inside. It had become a kind of banter between them over the last few years, but it was still a little awkward.

Back in the corridors, they were greeted by Sokka and Bato. Hakoda and Bato disappeared down one corridor to pack up all their things and ready the ship for tomorrow’s departure.  
“What was that all about?” Sokka asked, walking with Zuko to find Azula, Ty Lee and Mai, who all needed to pack as well.  
“Oh just some diplomatic things, nothing major.” Zuko shrugged it off, not really thinking about it.  
“Sounded more interesting than that.” Sokka grumbled, annoyed he’d been left out of the politics and planning once again.  
“It really, really, wasn’t at all. Be glad you don’t have to deal with this stuff.” Zuko reassured him as they found the three women lounging about in one of the hundreds of rooms in the Air Temple.  
“You guys ready to leave early tomorrow morning? I have to get back to sign some papers that I forgot to do and they need to be done soon.”  
“You never stop working, do you?” Mai said as Zuko and Sokka sat down on the floor with them, grabbing some of the snacks they had.  
“I do!” Zuko protested, but he was met with head shakes from Sokka and Azula.  
“You’re almost always thinking about the next thing that needs signing, or the next social engagement, or how to improve the Fire Nation’s image.” Azula said, sighing heavily. “I mean, I admire you for it, but you work too much Zuzu.”  
“Sorry, can I just get that confirmed, did you just say you admire me?” He teased, acting like a teenager again. Azula pulled a face and flicked a handful of fire at him.

They all hung out for the next few hours, enjoying the final day of vacation and quiet before they had to return to their busy lives across the world. By the evening, clothes were packed and ready to be loaded onto the ship and the dragon. Dinner had been eaten and Zuko and Sokka were clearing up final bits in their room, before going to bed for their last night in the Southern Air Temple.  
“Right. It can’t happen tonight.” Sokka said definitely, looking straight at Zuko. Zuko looked back at his ex-boyfriend, biting his lip with a wry smile. He knew they shouldn’t but it was their last night there.  
“I mean…” He began, pouting at Sokka. “We’re leaving tomorrow, going separate ways. Might as well make the most of it, really close the door on us, you know.” He pursed his lips, smirking a little. An exasperated expression fluttered across Sokka’s face as he considered Zuko’s suggestion. Zuko watched the gears in Sokka’s head turn, he knew he was listing the pros and cons of it happening. He didn’t want to force Sokka into doing anything, but he didn’t want to miss out on one last chance for forever.  
“You make a good point, Mr Zuko Firelord, your flameyness.”  
“I do, Mr Sokka Water Tribe, your coolness.”  
“Sure, what harm can it do? It’s not like we’re going to see each other again for months.”

* * *

**Four days later**

  
“My Lord, the new Water Tribe Ambassador has arrived.”  
Zuko dashed out of his study to meet the new diplomat, wondering what they’d be like, having spent the whole day trawling through menial paperwork, it would be a nice lift in the evening to get to know his new emissary.  
In the throne room, Zuko was sat on his throne, eager to meet the new Ambassador.  
Someone announced loudly, “Presenting the Ambassador...” As soon as he appeared around through the huge doors, Zuko’s jaw dropped to the floor as he saw who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, there will be a little bit more adult theme content - basically fairly regular sex mentions. Nothing explicit - unless I've labelled it - so i'm going to keep the teen and up rating but be warned that there's gonna be innuendos for at least the next 3 chapters


	16. Halls of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very literal walk down memory lane brings up a lot of feelings that Zuko had done a very good job of repressing. Azula and Sokka find themselves in a tense stand off, and it happens again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite short this one, but there's lots more to come

“Presenting the Ambassador, Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe.”  
Sokka had a cheeky grin on his face, as if to say ‘Surprise! Betcha weren’t expecting me!’ In the time that had passed since Sokka left, the palace staff had changed, and the new ones didn’t know who he was, hence why they treated his as a proper guest, and not someone who’d lived there for two years.  
“My Lord, we can show him to his room and show him around the palace, if you’d like.” A servant said, not knowing that Sokka probably new this palace better than them.  
“I think that sounds wonderful, but I’ll show him around, we should get to know each other before all the work starts.” Zuko smirked.  
As Sokka was led away by staff, Zuko mouthed ‘I’m going to kill you’ at him.

Zuko was leaning on the wall outside Sokka’s new official Ambassador’s quarters. This seemed like a cruel joke Sokka was playing on him and the real emissary would arrive two days later. This couldn’t be actually happening, he thought, right? They wouldn’t have decided that his ex-boyfriend would be the best option for improving relations with the Water Tribe and Fire Nation. That would be ridiculous.

Sokka emerged from his room, not noticing Zuko lurking behind him and he jumped when Zuko started talking.  
“So, Mr. Ambassador,” Zuko articulated every syllable in the word. “Would you like a tour of the palace?”  
“Zuko I swear-“ Sokka said through gritted teeth.  
“Did you know?”  
“Did I know what?”  
“That you were gonna be the new Ambassador after everything that happened at the wedding…”  
“No! Dad sprung it on me the day we got back, he said you were cool with it!”  
“I was cool with the idea of having an ambassador, I didn’t know it was gonna be you!” Zuko protested.  
“I mean, it wasn’t like there was anyone better suited to the job.”  
Zuko scowled again, he felt like he’d have a frown forever with Sokka as ambassador.  
“Wait! I have a letter for you from dad!” Sokka dashed back into his room, re-emerging with a scroll. Zuko opened it and began to read.

_Firelord Zuko,_

_If you’re reading this, it means that Sokka has succeeded in his first task as Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe._   
_My apologies for not being more honest at the Southern Air Temple, I had already considered Sokka for the position, but I needed to get his approval._   
_I understand that you are both on amenable terms, and I hope that you trust that this was the best decision I could make for my country._

_Chief Hakoda._   
_P.S. Tell Sokka this doesn’t mean he can start acting like he’s in charge of the Fire Nation AND the Water Tribe, don’t let the power go to his head_

“So it’s true,” Zuko rolled the parchment up, looking at Sokka. “You’re actually here forever.”

They walked along the corridors, Zuko pretending to show Sokka around.  
“What happened to wanting to stay in your home? Help from there?” Zuko asked, the question had been burning in his head since Sokka’s arrival.  
“That was seven years ago Zuko. I’ve done all I can at home, it was time for a change.” Sokka shrugged. They carried on walking through the palace, passing rooms which were once Katara, Aang, and Toph’s, now turned into rooms for palaces guests. The personalisation of them was now gone, no more wanted posters plastered to the walls, no more Momo flying down the halls, no more sounds of crashing as Aang tried some new air bending trick. It was impersonal now, and it was strange for Sokka to see. Further down the corridors, they passed Sokka’s old room. Zuko rushed them past, hoping Sokka wouldn’t remember it, but his efforts were in vain.  
“Hey, isn’t this my old room?” He stood outside, looking quizzically at Zuko.  
The Firelord shuffled nervously, not wanting Sokka to see his room, and what had happened to it.  
“Zuko? What’s going on?”  
“Can we just go?” But he was too late, Sokka had already opened the door on the bedroom. The hinges creaked and groaned, not used in six years. Dust billowed around Sokka as he stepped inside. Zuko waited outside, afraid of his reaction of the carnage.  
As Sokka took in the state of the room, he gasped loudly. Piles of ash and burned debris were scattered over the floor, the walls were coated in a thin layer of smoky grey ash, and although the fire had attacked it years ago, it still seemed to smell of burning. Zuko watched from outside as Sokka stepped carefully over some of the mounds of rubble, picking up some of the scorched items. A book that disintegrated when he moved it, the pages falling to the floor like butterfly wings, a blackened teapot, a coat that was now barely more than the metal fastenings on it, the frame of the bed now looking like a skeleton. Floorboards creaked angrily as Sokka stepped back over them, out into the hallway.  
“Perhaps you took the ‘burning your ex’s stuff’ a bit too far?” Sokka said, gesturing to the scorched room.  
Zuko sighed, he hadn’t thought about that day when he’d burned it all in a long time. He’d avoided Sokka’s room and never gotten around to clearing it out. The palace was big enough to never have to come down this corridor again, but here he was, confronted with not only the room, but the person who his attack had been directed at. “I was just so upset; you weren’t here to confront, and one day I think it all got too much and I just needed something tangible to destroy. Can we go, please?”  
“Sure.” Sokka said, distracted. He was still looking at the room, thinking about how this was reminiscent of Zuko when they’d first met him, when his power came from the rage inside of him. It scared Sokka a little bit, even after a decade of seeing him change.

For dinner, the palace cook, one of the few members of staff who’d been there for longer than five years, had been told to prepare for the new Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe, and then he’d found out it was actually Sokka who was coming and had prepared extra food, and some of Sokka’s favourite, sea prunes.  
Zuko was waiting to be joined by Azula and some councillors, who had to be officially introduced to Sokka, in his new political capacity.  
“So brother, where’s this Water Tribe idiot who’s going to be taking up space in the palace forever now?” Azula said, coming into the room, not realising that Sokka was only about two paces behind her. “I don’t know why they have to stay here. I mean I like the Water Tribe but they have all these weird customs and foods? It’s going to be really irritating and I am not eating sea prunes. Why do they have to live here all the time?” She wined, as Zuko watched Sokka listen with raised eyebrows.  
“Because I just love annoying you ‘Zula.” Sokka crept up on her and made her jump, even in their mid-twenties, they still acted like children sometimes. She looked over to her brother, who raised his eyebrow and made a gesture which said, ‘I’m fine with this’.  
“You’re actually the Ambassador? How much did you pay so you could hang around us all the time? I know we’re amazing, but are we that good?” The two of them sat down either side of Zuko, who really didn’t want to be stuck between the two smartest people he knew.  
“You’re just jealous.” Sokka teased, not meaning anything by it.  
“Jealous of what? My brother’s ex moving into his house? I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d slept your way to the top.” Azula retorted, standing up and Sokka did too. Zuko was still sitting between them, head dropped into his hands, sighing at their behaviour.  
“I’d rather that than be daddy’s little prodigy.”  
“Oh agni, you shouldn’t have said that.” Zuko whispered, head still in his heads.  
“Loooow bloooow.” Azula emphasised, looking really annoyed. “But you’d know all about those with Zuzu.”  
“Hey! Don’t bring me into this.” Zuko stood up too, holding his hands out between the two of them, like he was a parent telling of troublesome children. “Stop it! Both of you. Sit down and be quiet.” He looked angrily at both of them, 24 and 25 years old and yet he felt like he was running a nursery.  
“Sorry Zuzu.” Azula muttered, sitting down and glaring at Sokka.  
“Sorry Zuko.” Sokka muttered, returning Azula’s glare.  
Zuko sat back down, realising he’d have to keep any eye on them for the evening. Normally they got on just fine, but the two of them were both very competitive and very driven, so occasionally it would lead to confrontations like that.

Dinner continued with Sokka and Azula making snide remarks to one another while Zuko tried to converse with the councillors who were there to meet Sokka. Only two councillors remained from the group who had been around when Sokka was living in the palace, Lee and Azora, and they recognised him immediately as one of kids who’d always been hanging around the palace. Sokka finally stepped up and introduced himself to the new council members, taking about how he knew Zuko – omitting the details about their past relationship – and what wanted to do in his new role. Zuko sat back and watched Sokka captivate the council, talking about all his plans and ideas. He has such a way with words, Zuko thought, no one else can charm part of the Fire Nation old order like that. It was so impressive and he was incredibly glad that Sokka was the new Ambassador.

“So, how’d I do?” Sokka nudged Zuko as they left the dining hall after bidding farewell to the officials.  
“You did good. I’ve never seen Councillor Rako shut up for that long, so that bodes well for the future.” Zuko replied, still slightly in awe of Sokka’s raw talent for international relations.

Outside Zuko’s bedroom, Sokka was leaning on the door frame with one arm above his head. It caused his muscles to flex and ripple, Zuko noticed and tried to avoid looking but he found his eyes continuously drifting back to Sokka’s triceps as they chatted.  
“Oh, I forgot to ask, how was the journey here?” Zuko said while removing his cloak and carefully taking out his crown, placing it on a small cushion.  
“It was fine, though as much as I love to sail, sometimes a good ride is what you need.”  
Zuko choked at Sokka’s comment, now really trying to avoid eye contact. “I couldn’t agree more, though I have found sometimes it is over too quickly and you’re left feeling unfinished.” He replied, suddenly looking Sokka directly in the eyes. Sexual tension descended between them, pulling them closer together.  
“Well maybe you could mention that, perhaps the person you’re with would be happy to help satisfy you.”  
Zuko pursed his lips, shaking his head slowly at Sokka’s audacity. “We should probably go to bed, after all, we have a long day of you bending me over…” He paused, letting the words cling to the air. “…backwards to do what you want.” Zuko didn’t know where this mysteriously suave version of himself had emerged from, but he wasn’t complaining.  
“I suppose I should tell you all the things I want to do to you, I mean, with you in the palace.”  
“That does sound good…Why don’t you take off some of those heavy furs? I’m sure you’re very hot under there.”  
“But I worry I’d get cold and I’d need warming up.”  
“Oh I think I could work something out.” Zuko breathed out a ball of fire, like he had at the Boiling Rock when they went to rescue Suki and Hakoda. He was leaning against one of the bed posts, not obviously inviting Sokka in but it wasn’t exactly unclear.  
Sokka audibly purred, and opened his mouth to say something else, but Azula walked past, stopping next to Sokka. The two men awkwardly composed themselves, blushing deeply.  
She looked between them confused, eventually assuming they’d just had really uncomfortable conversation about something. “Zuzu, remember I’m leaving tomorrow for the Earth Kingdom, I want to see you before I go.”  
“Yeah, of course. No problem.”  
“Where’re you going ‘Zula?” Sokka asked.  
“We might have a lead on our mother from Omashu so I’m checking it out. Might stop and see Iroh on the way in Ba Sing Se too. Night, Zuko.” She tried to leave but was stopped by Sokka.  
“If you go near Kyoshi Island, can you drop in on Suki? I have a letter for her.” Sokka and Azula turned to leave so Azula could pick up the letter. “Night, Zuko, see you in the morning.” Sokka said, pulling a ‘sorry’ face as he left the doorway.  
Zuko was left alone in his room in a state on confusion. Although the exchange of innuendos was fun, he didn’t really know why they were doing it, it wasn’t like they were going to sleep together again. They’d agreed that the Air Temple was the last time, but then that was only because they weren’t expecting to see each other so soon. He was confused about whether he actually wanted to sleep with Sokka anyway, and whether Sokka wanted it either, because he’d happily left with Azula, throwing the moment out of the window.  
He changed out of his clothes and climbed into bed, picking up the book he was trying desperately to finish within the next decade. He tried not to think about their suggestive conversation, he tried not to think about Sokka’s undulating muscles, he tried not to think about how good the last time they’d slept together had been.

After managing to read for nearly twenty minutes, Zuko decided it was finally time to try and sleep. He was about to snuff the light out when there was a frantic knock at the door. He leapt out of bed and opened it topless to see Sokka stood there looking bewildered.  
A flash of heavy silence shot between them before Sokka grabbed Zuko’s face and kissed him hard. Zuko pulled him into the room and shut the door, he didn’t want anyone to walk past and see them. Zuko pushed Sokka back against the door, kissing him back with such fervour.  
“Don’t. Ever. Do. That. Fire. Breathing. Thing. Again.” Sokka said between kisses. Zuko pulled back, a twinkle in his eye.  
“You mean this?” He blew a small ball of flame out of his mouth and Sokka audibly whimpered with desire. “Was that what made you come back?” He whispered, biting his lip.  
“I came back because I wanted to sleep with you. If you’re alright with that?” Sokka asked, holding Zuko by the waist.  
Zuko paused, thinking it over but his head was brimming with adrenaline and ecstasy so the decision wasn’t the most considered. “I mean, this will have to be the last time. But I suppose it was probably going to happen once with you here and we might as well get it over with.”  
“This is the last time. Agreed?”  
“Agreed.”


	17. It Takes Root and Grows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's in denial, but they're still hanging out as friends and it's mostly fine. A couple of field trips later and perhaps things have changed

It happened again.  
And then again.  
And again.  
And again when they were drunk.  
And when they weren’t drunk.  
And again.  
And that time twice in one day.  
And that time in Zuko’s office.  
And again.  
And again.

They kept sleeping together. It was fun, it wasn’t anything important or meaningful, it was exclusively just sex. There was no ulterior motive, no intention, no relationship. Zuko didn’t feel anything for Sokka, Sokka didn’t feel anything for Zuko.  
It was purely sexual and Zuko didn’t care, he didn’t care that it was only a carnal attraction, that he was only in it for the sex.  
Outside of their new friends with benefits situation, they didn’t spend a lot of time together, there no dates, no romantic evenings. Zuko found himself wanting to sleep with Sokka, but nothing else. They were both quite lonely in the palace. Their worlds were disappearing and evolving, leaving the two of them at the centre of the storm.  
Azula was still trying to find Ursa, and Mai and Ty Lee were very engrossed in their own lives. The sex was a way to release all the energy that they held throughout the day. From their positions as Firelord and Ambassador, they found themselves busy most days, signing papers and deliberating important decisions. It was hard work and they needed the energy release that sex gave.

“Morning.” Sokka yawned, stretching widely and rolling to face Zuko in bed.  
“Hi.” Zuko replied, scrabbling for a hair to tie his long raven locks up.  
“Do you ever think that this is a bad idea?” Sokka asked, propping himself up on one are to watch Zuko struggle with his tangled hair.  
Zuko glanced at Sokka, thinking about what was going on between them, especially given all their history. In theory, it seemed like a terrible idea, but as long as the both of them kept track of their feelings, it was fine, or at least Zuko thought.  
“Maybe sometimes, I don’t think this kind of thing works for everyone. But I don’t know, I think we make it work. I don’t want a real relationship, but this is just fun.” He said, eventually tying his hair up. “Why?”  
“I don’t know, just something Suki said in her last letter about connections and relationships.” Sokka said, sounding almost disappointed that Zuko had said he didn’t think too much of it. Zuko noticed the saddened tone but didn’t react because he only thought he was imagining it.  
“I… look, I’m enjoying this. It’s trivial and basically meaningless, I don’t really know what else can happen.” It wasn’t entirely true, but he also wasn’t sure what the truth actually was. He knew he was basically enjoying what they had going, but he also felt slightly incomplete by the whole situation.

Zuko and Sokka were both working in their respective offices, although Sokka’s was more of a workshop slash office slash factory slash hub of intelligence. Zuko was going through a stack of papers about improving something, somewhere, at some point. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate his position as Firelord, nor that he didn’t find all the ways to improve the Fire Nation fascinating, but sometimes, after the 50th document, it became devastatingly dull.  
He signed bill number 63 and sighed heavily, staring out of the window over the city, watching the smoke rise from the chimneys. It was late afternoon, bordering on early evening, and he was tired. It had been two days since he and Sokka had last slept together, and Zuko just wanted it again. Because they didn’t spend a lot of together outside of the sex, the intimacy and the connection that it gave them was addictive, it was like a high which lasted for the night and disappeared in the morning.

Zuko decided to wander down to Sokka’s office, see if he wanted to have some fun before dinner. He walked into the workshop, finding Sokka hidden behind a huge stack of metal boxes, thin strips of metal, and other odd bits of material which Zuko assumed was part of his latest project.  
Sokka was pouring over huge sheets of paper, covered in detailed drawings and plans for something that Zuko didn’t understand.  
“Hi.” Zuko said, leaning on the door frame, but Sokka didn’t hear him, too busy studying his plans. “Hi!” He shouted, trying to pull Sokka away from his work.  
“Oh Agni! Don’t do that!” Sokka jumped and dropped the stuff he was holding with a crash.  
“Sorry,” Zuko smiled at Sokka’s fluster. “Are you free for an hour… for…you know?” He said, failing dramatically at being seductive.  
Sokka looked back at him, and Zuko felt his stomach tie in a knot. It was weird, it was a familiar feeling but he couldn’t tell when he’d last felt it. It was like when you recognise a scent from your childhood, but the actual memory is lost.  
“An hour? Don’t flatter yourself, half an hour.” Sokka winked, making the knot in his stomach tighten.  
Zuko scowled, swallowing the feeling in his gut. “Fine, forty minutes then.”  
“Thirty-five at best. But I can’t right now, I’m trying to think of a way to broadcast news instantly, so people don’t have to rely on letters and posters anymore. I feel like it’ll have some kinda of thing that records what people say and repeats it back…” Sokka continued to ramble and Zuko just stood and listened to him talk about his new ideas and concepts. Sokka had this kind of engrossing energy that was magnetic and addictive, and it pulled Zuko in. He listened to Sokka, hearing about his idea for what would become radio, his idea which would provide the basis for a central electricity grid, and his idea for a new, independent, united city, which would be free of the separation between nations.  
“…I think I had a dream about it, somewhere that was ruled by an elected leader, no dynasties or monarchies. Where benders and non-benders could live together, Earth, Fire, Water, and Air as one people. A united republic perhaps. Sorry, it’s stupid, it could never work.” Sokka said, trailing off, realising that he’d rambled on a lot. But Zuko was interested in this idea.  
“No, carry on, you might be onto something.”  
“I’ve just been thinking, being here, living properly in the Fire Nation, I think finding ways to weaken the borders between all the nations would be good for the world.”  
“I understand, Uncle used to say that it was important to learn about other cultures to become a better person.” Zuko grabbed a crate and sat down next to Sokka, their shoulders were just touching and Zuko found himself entranced by Sokka’s genius from time to time.  
Their plans and discussions lasted all evening, and late into the night, dinner was eaten over the desk – Sokka dropping sauce all over his precious plans. By the time they’d reached a plan that they could present to Sokka’s father, to the Earth Kingdom, and to Aang, both of them were exhausted and not in the mood for sex anymore.  
Sokka yawned and stretched, deciding that he should probably go to bed. Zuko agreed and they walked together along the corridor to their rooms, bidding each other goodnight.

Zuko lay in bed, still just about awake. He thought about how good the evening had been, just spending some genuine time with Sokka, no sex, just the friendship that had been pushed to the side, despite them officially being “friends with benefits.” It has just been fun, and he fell asleep dreaming about a city that they could built together.

A month had passed since they’d first discussed the idea of Republic City, and it had been very well received by Hakoda and Aang. The Earth King wasn’t entirely convinced at first, but as the plans were still very rudimentary, it had the scope for development which would benefit the Earth Kingdom.

In an effort to persuade the Earth King to let them use Earth Kingdom land, once some of the Fire Nation colonies, for the location of the city, Zuko and Sokka were staying in Ba Sing Se for a couple of days.  
“I wonder if the Dai Li are still brainwashing people under Lake Laogai.” Sokka said, ruminating on one of the more impactful visits they’d had to the city. The two men were stood on the top of one the outer walls, looking over the city and its people.  
“Almost definitely, even with Suki’s help, it’s almost too hard to change a city that much. Perhaps in another decade it will be better, but I don’t see it changing soon.” Zuko leaned on the stone wall, stretching his arms and back after a long ride on Druk to the capitol.  
“They brainwashed Jet, didn’t they? And then he died trying to save us.”  
Zuko looked wistfully out to the horizon, not replying to Sokka. He was thinking about Jet and their time in Ba Sing Se. The nights of vandalism and chaos they’d caused before he (rightly) accused Zuko and Iroh of being firebenders.  
“Zuko? Did you know him? I thought it was only us who’d met him before then.” Asked Sokka, gently shaking Zuko’s shoulder.  
“Sorry, I was just thinking…” He trailed off again, thinking about his life a decade ago.  
“What happened with him? Did you try to kill him or did you try to kiss him? I can’t guess what you’re thinking.” Sokka joked.  
“Hypothetically, if I say both, what’s your reaction going to be?” Zuko bit his lip awkwardly, not looking at Sokka. The Ambassador’s reaction was one to be remembered forever. Zuko watched as his face went through what seemed to be the seven stages of grief. He looked disgusted and angry and shocked and confused and excited and in denial, all at the same time.  
Finally, words formed in his mouth. “Neither is that strange. Jet was two things really: anti-Fire Nation and quite good looking. Apart from those eyebrows though, I swear they were like tiny boomerangs.” Sokka grinned, teasing his friend. Zuko grimaced again, secretly deciding to never talk about his past relationships ever again.

“Hi Uncle.” Zuko said, awkwardly shuffling into the Jasmine Dragon.  
“Zuko!” Iroh looked up from his cup of Oolong tea, and a broad grin stretched over his aged face. He was a lot older now, the years had been kind to him, but time was wearing on. He slowly walked around the counter to hug his nephew, who carefully embraced his uncle. Despite the height difference, Zuko still felt like his teenage self.  
“Come, nephew, you have to tell me everything that’s happened. News takes time to reach us here in Ba Sing Se.” The two of them sat down at a table, Iroh ready to pour some fresh tea for them. He picked up the tea pot, the lid rattled as his hands shook and Zuko feared that boiling water would end up everywhere.  
“Let me do it, uncle.” Zuko took the pot from Iroh and carefully poured them two steaming cups.  
“These hands aren’t like they used to be.” Iroh said wistfully, holding the small green ceramic cup just below his face, the steam wafted up in from of his eyes and he inhaled the aroma.  
“I keep telling you to retire and let someone else take over the shop.” Zuko shook his head at his uncle, smiling at the old man’s stubbornness, which he knew he had inherited.  
“Hrrumpf. But tell me, how is the diplomacy going? You last letter said something about creating an independent city, free from the confines of the four nations. It sounds like a wonderful idea; you have been so intelligent.”  
“It was Sokka’s idea actually. We have his father and Aang on our side, but the Earth King is taking some convincing.” Zuko sipped his tea.  
“The Earth Kingdom is a stubborn nation.” Iroh whispered, not wanting his patrons to hear. He continued in a normal voice, “A city where all four nations can live together, benders and non-benders, that Sokka of yours really is a wise one.”  
Zuko’s face was flooded with confusion, “Uncle, I told you, Sokka and I aren’t together anymore.” He was worried Iroh was starting to forget things. “Not for a long time, we broke up almost eight years ago, we’re just friends, there’s noth-.”  
The older man chuckled heartily, interrupting the flustered Zuko. “Nephew calm down. I only mean that it seems you two have become very close again. I understand that it may not be romantic _(“It isn’t.” Zuko muttered)_ , but you certainly talked about him a lot in your last letter…”  
“I just had a lot to tell you.” Defended Zuko, thinking back to the pages after pages he’d written about Sokka’s inventions and ideas and work with him. It was just that he was excited to fill his uncle in on everything, he told himself, that he really did just have a lot to say, right?  
“Of course, I’m sorry for bringing it up.” Iroh smiled cheekily into his teacup, hiding the smile from Zuko.”

They continued talking for hours; about Iroh’s life in Ba Sing Se, about Zuko’s work in the Fire Nation, about what the rest of their family was doing – not just the blood relatives, but those they now considered family too. As Zuko talked, he found Sokka’s name tripping out of his mouth a lot, he tried to stop talking about him but everything seemed to be connected back to the Water Tribesman. He sensed that his uncle was picking up on it and really tried to stop although because their lives were so intertwined that it was difficult not to.

Around them, customers came and went and Zuko felt like a clock was being wound backwards. After each minute, he felt younger, like he was getting closer to the time when he’d worked in the tea shop. He saw some faces that he’d definitely served all those years ago, some recognised him, some didn’t – or perhaps chose not to – but it made him smile to see the happy patrons. The days of being ‘Lee from the Tea Shop’ were over, but perhaps he could retire to the Jasmine Dragon one day, once his work was done.

“I should go, I have to meet with the Earth King again in the morning before we leave.” Zuko said, hugging Iroh.  
“If you ever want to visit your old uncle and his tea shop, please come again. It was wonderful to see you nephew. Send my love to Sokka too.” Iroh smiled cheekily and waved Zuko off. The Firelord walked back to the Earth palace, dodging the main streets to avoid any attention. He thought about what his uncle had said about Sokka, that maybe he was more emotionally involved than he realised.

It was late when Zuko made it back to the palace after meandering slowly through the streets of Ba Sing Se. He tried to sneak back to his room, not wanting to wake anyone, but as he turned a corner, he walked headfirst into Sokka.  
“Sneaking back late, are we?”  
Zuko was startled like a lop-eared rabbit in front of a stampede. “N…n…no…I was just…Iroh…tea…J…jasmine...” He faltered, not expecting to see anyone. He had been hoping that he could go to bed and wallow in his jumbled feelings.  
“It’s fine,” Sokka laughed. “I was just going to bed, but now we could…?”  
Zuko hesitated, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to stop sleeping with Sokka, but he was getting too emotionally invested. He was about to say no and then Sokka bit his lip and Zuko absolutely melted.

Dawn broke and Zuko woke, tightly held in Sokka’s arms. He could feel his heart beating, his heavy breaths and the softness of his skin. He could feel the memories they’d made over a decade, the aches of their history, the pains of their relationship, and the highs of their love. It was like looking through a picture book of their lives, including all the parts from a time Zuko did his best to forget. For the most part, it was full of good memories, images that Zuko enjoyed looking at, but they were interspersed with memories of fights and arguments and the breakup. Even those, however, didn’t make him sad or angry, they made him regret not appreciating the better moments when they came along. Zuko thought about what Iroh had said, that perhaps there was more to their friendship than he cared to admit.  
Zuko felt Sokka’s embrace tighten around him and his heart quivered. It made everything suddenly seem clear, the confusion in his head blew through like clouds after a thunderstorm.  
“Oh. No.” He breathed out quietly, not completely sure what this meant for their future. It was a feeling that he’d definitely met before, and he was still sure that Sokka definitely wouldn’t want to do it all over again. He was the one who’d ended it before, so why would he want to start it all over again?


	18. To Be Yours, Once More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko, as usual, can't cope with his own feelings and hides in his work

Back in the Fire Nation capital and Zuko had spent a month trying to avoid Sokka. He hoped that it would help him get over his feelings which were never going to be reciprocated, but it was difficult to evade his friend all the time. Council meetings and official ceremonies now required both their presences and even if Zuko tried to leave quickly, he’d too soon bump into Sokka in a hallway.   
Despite the close encounters in corridors, they had stopped sleeping together as much. Zuko had an arsenal of excuses, from being too tired or having a lot of work to do, to still being sore from the last time. He felt like it was better this way, he didn’t count the days by calculating when they’d last slept together; he didn’t linger in the moments when he’d wake up before Sokka; he stopped daydreaming about Sokka’s touch on his skin. It was an improvement. It was better, or so he told himself. 

Despite Zuko’s attempts to spend less time with Sokka, he didn’t avoid him completely. That would mean having to answer awkward questions about why he was doing, and that seemed like too much hassle. 

They were at the Oolong Lake, enjoying a well-earned break after a day of urban planning for their new city, which had finally been approved by the Earth King. Zuko was listening to Sokka ramble about how they could use lightning to power machinery instead of burning fuel all the time.   
“You know that would mean getting my sister to do it?” Zuko sipped his Darjeeling, the ceramic cup warm in his hands, the perfume of the drink wafting through his senses.   
“I’m sure there’s other firebenders who can bend lightning, if Azula ever comes back from wherever she is, she could teach them?”   
Zuko scoffed, “Azula? Teaching? Oh how I’d pay to see that.” But it made him think about his sister, she was still searching, still looking for their mother without success. Would she ever find her? Or was it simply useless? “If she ever comes back.”  
“She reminds me of you.” Sokka said, leaning against the wall and sitting with his foot up on the chair, chin resting on his knee. Zuko tried not to think that he looked so soft and adorable, but it was hard not to.   
“What do you mean? I’m nothing like her.”   
Sokka smiled cheekily. “You’re so much more like her than you think. Searching for someone who is almost impossible to find, travelling around the world, following tracks and clues that could lead to them? With an intention that it’ll perhaps regain some…honour?” He bit his lip, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.   
“That’s not…that’s…no...” Zuko failed miserably at defending himself, because he realised that Sokka was right. Azula was doing what he’d done before Aang had returned, and he realised that he needed to tell her that her efforts were almost always going to be futile. “I suppose you might be right.”   
“I usually am.” Zuko stared into Sokka’s twinkling eyes, getting lost in the swirling colours for a moment until Sokka blinked and looked away. 

“Anyway, so I got a new tattoo.” Sokka chirped, rolling up his sleeve to show Zuko the new ink on his forearm.   
It was incredibly striking. Unlike most of his others, this one was a more abstract design, swirling lines which wound their way between the older wave patterns, resembling the silhouettes of fish, just like the two in the Northern Water Tribe pond. They seemed to swim over his arms and onto his hands, flowing with the veins and the muscles in his arms. Zuko traced his fingers lightly over the lines, Sokka shivered at the touch, the hairs on the back of his neck standing upright, but he showed no signs of it to Zuko.   
“It’s beautiful, it’s absolutely gorgeous.” Zuko gushed. Then suddenly pulling his hands away, realising that he’d been a little too intimate.   
They stayed talking for a while, the conversation sailing from food to business, from clothes to theatre, until they were interrupted by an old woman who stopped at the edge of their table.   
“Can I just say,” The woman’s voiced croaked, her hand leaning heavily on a cane. “You two make a lovely couple.” She smiled but Zuko reeled in embarrassment.   
Sokka immediately corrected her, his voice rushed. “We’re not a couple, we’re just friends.” He told her, and Zuko saw the look of panic on his face as he spoke, and it created a pit of despair in his stomach. It was clear now that Sokka was never going to feel the same way. 

Zuko really tried to stop seeing Sokka as much, but Sokka didn’t really have any other friends in the Fire Nation yet. He wasn’t lonely, but he didn’t have a wide choice of people to hang out with. So they spent some time together, Zuko tried not to get too attached but his heart beat a little faster when he saw Sokka. 

Druk’s wings flapped heavily and Zuko landed his dragon on the roof of the palace. He climbed off the beast, who took off again almost immediately. He quickly and quietly dashed along the roof tiles and jumped off the end, into the courtyard with the turtle duck pond, hoping he’d not been spotted. The guards didn’t like it when he didn’t tell them where he was going or when he’d come back and not use the main entrance. He hated it, he didn’t like all the protection and the fussing, he knew he could handle himself. But after several assassination attempts, the guards and the Council were adamant that the protection was necessary. 

He’d been visiting some of the Fire Nation villages to the south-east, he liked to go and ask them personally what they felt like they needed. Hearing requests via letters and probably corrupt councillors didn’t always answer his questions. It had been a long day, and he was looking forward to having dinner alone and heading to bed.   
“You really should stop sneaking back.” Sokka said, and Zuko whipped around to see him lounging on a bench, legs swinging over the armrests and a book on his lap.   
“What are you gonna do? Tell on me?” Zuko pouted, passing him and walking inside. He sighed when he thought he was alone, but then the door opened again and Sokka came running up along the corridor.   
“Hey! Hey!” Sokka caught up with him and walked in step with the young Firelord. “Do you wanna go get some dinner?”   
“I’ve got a lot of work to do this evening.” He didn’t. “I just want to get it done and go to bed.” Mostly true.   
“You’ve been working so much lately, just have a night off. Let’s get some food.” Sokka pleaded, but Zuko remained adamant that he didn’t want to go.   
“I can’t, I just want to go to bed.” Zuko stopped outside his room, not wanting to spend more time with Sokka before he really started pining (although he definitely already had).   
“If you don’t want to go straight away, we could fit in a quick, you know…?”   
Zuko gulped, Sokka looked so vulnerable and adorable in the flickering light of the corridor lanterns. But he actually resisted. “You know what, dinner sounds good.” He knew he had to choose one, and dinner seemed like the less ‘oops I tripped and fell in love with you’ option. 

“So this is one of the ‘Fire Lord approved’ restaurants then?” Sokka said as they arrived outside The Dancing Dragon, a new noodle place that Zuko had been desperate to go to.   
Zuko sighed at Sokka’s comment: all restaurants had to be checked out so they weren’t likely to try to poison him, not after the incident four years ago. “After, like, five attempts on my life, apparently I can’t go anywhere that hasn’t been checked out before.”   
They went inside and were given a table at the back, where Zuko wouldn’t be recognised too much.   
“Wait did you say five?” Sokka blurted out after they had ordered their food.   
“Maybe five, maybe six? I can’t remember, it’s been a while since the last one.” Zuko shrugged, they didn’t really phase him anymore.   
“How did I not know about these?” Sokka looked so concerned, Zuko thought he was doing to drag Zuko back to the palace and lock him in his room so he’d never be in danger again.   
“I can’t even remember the last one, they were mostly in the years after my coronation. I think two of them might have been when you were still living here.”   
“Then!? Why didn’t you say anything then?” Sokka was agitated and Zuko thought he looked almost angry. Zuko sighed again, this was exactly why he had kept it quiet before.   
“I just…I didn’t want you guys to worry about me. There was so much to deal with before, and it wasn’t like either of them were successful.” Zuko tried to laugh it off but Sokka didn’t find it funny.   
“Zuko, you should have told us.” Sokka grabbed Zuko’s hands and held them tightly. Zuko froze with shock, not knowing how to react. “We are your friends, I’m your friend, you don’t have to suppress and hide these things anymore. You can tell me what’s going on.” He looked earnestly into Zuko’s golden eyes, and Zuko stared back. It was another moment of strange intimacy that he didn’t quite understand what it meant. 

“One Beef Noodle Soup and one Yaki Udon.” The waitress interrupted them, and they pulled apart quickly, Zuko hiding his blushing cheeks behind his hands.   
“Thanks.” Sokka smiled and they both started tucking into their dinner. Zuko used his food to avoid having to continue this awkward conversation with Sokka.   
Silence fell as they both enjoyed the fragrant dishes; they didn’t even look at one another while they ate, it was just a few long moments of calm while the noodles were consumed.   
Both of them finished at the same time, emptying their bowls and sighing contentedly, stomachs full.   
“Urghhhh.” Sokka groaned, and then burped loudly.   
“Ewww.” Zuko grimaced as some of the other customers looked around at Sokka in disgust. “You’re in the presence of royalty.” He teased, shaking his head.   
“I’m IN tHE prESencE oF RoYAlty?” Sokka mocked.  
Zuko laughed, “Have I not mentioned it recently?” He drawled sarcastically. It used to be a joke between them that Zuko always mentioned he was the Firelord. He’d mention it like Katara mentioning Aang was the Avatar, or like Toph mentioning she invented metalbending.   
“Not nearly enough, your highness.” Sokka fake bowed at him, making Zuko laugh again.   
“Please, your highness is too formal, My Lord or your Great Flameyness is just fine.” It was Zuko’s turn to make Sokka laugh. He loved seeing him smile like this, his eyes creased up and disappeared behind his cheeks.   
“What about Lord Jerkbender? Or Your Royal Hotness?” Sokka said, chuckling at his own recycled joke. Zuko laughed lightly, not really picking up on what Sokka had said.   
They stayed at the restaurant for a while, customers coming and going around them. They talked and talked: gossiped like teenagers, debated like politicians, dreamed like artists. It was wonderfully fun evening and by the time they left, Zuko felt like he could unravel the secrets of the world and solve every problem that he faced. 

Zuko paid for the food, despite the restaurant owner’s insistence that he didn’t have to, because he never wanted to be seen as taking advantage or abusing his royal power. They left the restaurant, about to meander their way back to the palace when someone behind them halted their tracks.   
“Excuse me!” Sokka and Zuko turned around to see two men in Earth Kingdom robes stood in the soft glow of the lanterns. It was dark and Zuko’s hair was casting a shadow over his face, he was unrecognisable, or so he hoped.   
“Yes?” Sokka said suspiciously, hand slowly moving to his boomerang on his back. Zuko felt sparks fall from his fingers as he clenched his fists, ready for a fight.   
“I’m sorry, I don’t normally do this, but I wanted to say that seeing another couple like us in public has been so wonderful. We saw you inside the Dancing Dragon.” One of the men said, smiling widely and holding the other man’s hand. “It’s a good sign for the future of the Fire Nation.”   
Zuko relaxed his fists and Sokka dropped his hands slowly. “We’re just friends, sorry.” Sokka answered quickly before Zuko could even open his mouth. Then he saw the men’s faces fall and their hands pull apart in shame, fearing that they’d made a horrible mistake. He jumped in, before Sokka could stick his foot in it anymore.   
“But,” He stepped into the light and the two men gasped at the Fire Lord. “We’re both, like you.” He stressed. They didn’t have a word, or a way to describe Zuko’s attraction to men, or Sokka’s attraction to men and women, but Zuko hoped his implications were clear.  
“Oh.” One of them said, slightly confused. “Oh!” He exclaimed; his hands flew to his cheeks in surprise.   
The other one, who had remained silent until now, breathed out, “Oh my spirits.” Sokka and Zuko looked awkwardly at one another, itching to leave. Although it was nice to meet other people like them, they didn’t want the whole street to end up outside with them.   
Zuko smiled at the two men, “Goodnight. I wish you both all the best.” He bowed softly, nudging Sokka to do the same.   
“Your highness.” The two of them replied, bowing in return. 

“How did they not know you’re…?” Sokka asked as they walked away. “I swear you don’t hide it and didn’t we tell everyone before?”   
Zuko nodded, suddenly realising that the whole conversation had been a bit odd. “Yes, actually, no, wait, they were in green. Earth Kingdom. Tourists.”   
“Oooooh.” Sokka realised. They walked back to the palace in silence, Zuko was thinking about the last time they’d announced their relationship to the world. How they had to tell each of their friends in turn, telling Sokka’s dad, not telling Zuko’s dad. How nervous they’d been before everything. He didn’t know if he wanted to go through it all again, but he also thought after seeing how Sokka had reacted to the couple thinking they were together, that there was no chance in Agni Kai that it would even be a flicker of possibility. 

“…I’m sorry Ambassador Sokka, but I don’t think that we have in the funds to start regular boats to the Southern Water Tribe.” One of the councillors said, and Zuko winced, knowing it would cause problems.   
“Oh right, but there is enough money to increase your vacation pay? How was that third, or was it fourth, weekend getaway to Ember Island, Councillor Rako?” Sokka replied, clicking his tongue behind his teeth. The Councillor was stunned into silence and Zuko tried to hide a smile behind his hands.   
“Moving on,” Azora said, shuffling papers loudly. “We still need to discuss whether we move your father to the Boiling Rock.”   
She looked awkwardly at Zuko, who didn’t reply instantly, feeling the entire Council’s eyes drilling holes into him. “Can it wait? Do we have to discuss it?” He said, it was one thing that he couldn’t quite face yet.   
“We’ve been avoiding it for weeks. Just deal with it.” Zuko heard someone mutter, and rage flooded his veins.   
“Who said that?” He snarled, and Sokka was taken aback at his ferocity. The councillors looked awkwardly at each other, knowing exactly who’d said it. “I said, who said that?” Zuko stood up and slammed his hands into the cherry wood table. Smoke drifted up between his fingers and a smell of scorched wood filled the room. Zuko felt his heart beating like a war drum in his chest, fire almost literally burning through his veins. He had tried to always stay calm and collected in these meetings, but the one thing that made him outrageously angry was disrespect or people muttering. He treated them all with respect, as their equals, but when they didn’t reciprocate it, he would snap.   
“I said,” Rako spoke slowly and carefully. “We have been avoiding talking about your father for weeks, you just need to deal with it.”   
“Deal with it?” He spat, his hands burning the table even more. “Remind me, Councillor Rako, when did you have to put your own father in prison because he was responsible for the senseless murder of thousands across the world? Or because he challenged you to an Agni Kai when you were thirteen and despite you only being a child, he still burned half your face off? Or because he turned himself into a god-like figure with the intention of wiping out all cultures that weren’t everything he wanted?” Sparks literally flew out of his mouth as he spat at the Councillor.   
The group of them sat in a tense silence until Rako finally said “I’m sorry, my Lord, I didn’t think.”   
“No, you didn’t. Meeting adjourned.” Zuko snapped, and stormed out of the room, his robes billowing behind him. 

He paced down the corridors, flying up the stairs with rage. The red and black of his robes flapped like sails as he moved past the rooms and up a tiny staircase, out onto a balcony which seemed a lot smaller than it had been when he’d last been there. He sat with his legs hanging over the edge, breathing heavily and his head spinning. He tried to calm himself down by counting down from ten, like Sokka had shown him forever ago. Eventually, the fury subsided and he was back to normal, though still angry at Rako’s insolence.   
“Thought I might find you up here.” Sokka surprised him, and then sat down next to Zuko, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.   
The evening was drawing in, and dusk was descending on the city. An amber glow swathed around them, carrying them in the twilight. Zuko felt like he was back in a place that he’d first visited eight years ago, back when he’d first fallen for Sokka.   
“Sorry I stormed out.”   
“Don’t worry about it, I smoothed things over, but you might need to buy a new table.” Sokka rubbed his arm gently, and Zuko felt a blot of electricity shoot through him.   
“How bad was it?”   
“It wasn’t too bad, but tui and la, I’ve never seen you like that before.”   
“The last time I felt that angry was…oh agni…when I got your letter that just said, ‘Please stop writing, and please don’t come down here’.” Admitted Zuko, as he looked off into the horizon, over the city which had expanded since he’d last been up there.   
“I should never have said that.” A sighed drifted out of Sokka’s mouth and Zuko felt his shoulders drop. “It was horrible of me, but I was worn out with grief and stress. Sometimes I think that we never would have ended it if we hadn’t had to go home.”   
“Not to, you know, bring up anything, but I’d like to confirm that you ended things with me.” Zuko’s anger from earlier had been reincarnated as brash confidence. “I wanted to carry on writing to you, I was going to wait for you, I was going to be there for you when you came back. I always will.”   
Sokka turned to face him, despite now being in their twenties, Zuko felt like a teenager again, staring at his crush awkwardly. “What do you mean?” Sokka’s face textbook-concern: a furrowed brow and wide eyes which glowed in the sunset light.   
Zuko tried to think up a lie so Sokka wouldn’t realise his feelings again. “I just mean, you know, I’ll always be here as a friend, someone to talk to. Even when we’re old and grey.”   
“Firelord Zuko of the Fire Nation, I can tell when you’re lying. I know you too well.” Sokka said, the concern rippling beneath his skin.   
“What do you want me to say?” Zuko shook his head, hair tumbling down like feathers in front of his face.   
“Tell me the truth!”   
“Why? It’s just going to make it awkward again. I’m not doing that, not again.”   
“Oh for agni’s sake Zuko!” Sokka cried out, throwing his head back and gesturing wildly with his hands.   
“You really want to know?” Zuko said, fire burning his heart. Sokka looked at him, a second of heat flashed between them, until Zuko pressed a kiss into Sokka’s lips. Underneath his own, Zuko felt a gentle gasp from the other man, and then Sokka was kissing him back. Hands were in hair, holding faces, wrapped around necks. Beard brushed against skin, fabrics rubbed together, eyelashes tickled cheeks and noses. It was electric and exhilarating, but Zuko pulled away first, suddenly anxious about something. 

“Wait, Sokka,” Zuko whispered, holding his face in his hands. “This isn’t just foreplay, I love the sex, but I want more now. I understand if you don’t, it’s fine. We can forget this ever happened.”   
A smirk snuck across Sokka’s face, he closed his eyes and laughed lightly. “Oh, we’re both such idiots.”  
“I know, I never should have done this-” Zuko began, but he was cut off by the still laughing Sokka.   
“No, no, that’s not what I mean at all. We’re idiots because I’ve felt more for you for weeks, probably months. I thought you had realised and were avoiding me.”  
Zuko had never sighed as heavily as he did then. He combed his hands through his hair, pulling it away from his face. The shock of Sokka’s revelation was gradually working its way through his mind.   
“I was avoiding you because I didn’t want to get too deep. I thought that if I didn’t see you as much, the feelings would go away.”   
“Did it work?”  
“Not at all. Just found myself daydreaming, about you.”   
Sokka laughed heartily. “I thought we’d stopped sleeping together as much, I was worried I was bad in bed.”   
“Oh that’s definitely not true. But you were so insistent when people thought we were a couple in telling them that we were just friends. Like that woman in the Oolong Lake like a month ago, or that couple outside the Dancing Dragon two weeks ago.”  
“I said that because I was terrified that you’d realise how I felt about you.”   
“We really are idiots, aren’t we?” Zuko smiled, watching the shadows flutter over Sokka’s face as the lamps in the streets below were gradually lit. He kissed him again, one hand stroking the side of his face.   
“The biggest idiots.” Sokka gave Zuko a look that he understood immediately.   
They hurried down the stairs and into Zuko’s room, intensity growing with each step. Kisses were exchanged, clothes were removed, sparks flew. 

Waking up in Sokka’s embrace once again, Zuko smiled to himself. Knowing there were no confused feelings, nothing lost in translation, no pining, and no unrequited love soothed him. He breathed out deeply, moaning and wriggling to be more comfortable.   
“Stop fidgeting.” Mumbled Sokka, woken by Zuko’s movements. Zuko felt Sokka squeeze him tighter, he felt Sokka’s chest push softly into his back, his arms wrap around Zuko’s body a little more snuggly. Zuko started tracing his fingers over Sokka’s hands and planting kisses gently on them, one on each knuckle. They stayed liked that for a while, warm and cosy in each other’s close presence. It was consoling and peaceful, and nothing wrong with the world. 

“I guess this means we’re more than friends with benefits now.”


	19. The Past is Ours to Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko doesn’t want to end up getting hurt again but Sokka wants to dive in a give it another go. Two letters arrive and perhaps Zuko should take the plunge.

“No, I don’t think it does.” Zuko replied, rolling out of Sokka’s arms and turning to face him. He brushed Sokka’s brown hair away from his face, so he could see him properly. See him without worrying that Sokka would get the wrong idea. Zuko smiled, silently gazing into Sokka’s eyes, looking deeply into their depths. Sokka gently traced the outline of Zuko’s scar on his face. Zuko didn’t like touching it himself, but for some reason he didn’t seem to mind when Sokka did. It was grounding in a funny kind of a way, the foreign touch helped him to remember who he was, but also it give them a personal and unique connection that no one else knew about. They stayed, locked in that frame for a while. Like a snapshot of time, frozen like Aang in the iceberg.

Then Zuko sat up, suddenly feeling vulnerable next to Sokka as reality kicked in. He pulled the sheets up over his body, he felt exposed and weak. Unease and apprehension washed through him, the truth of their relationship was abruptly revealed and Zuko realised that he had more reservations about it than he did before.  
“Sokka, I’m…I’m not sure about this.” Zuko said quietly, curled up with his knees to his chest. Sokka sat up next to him, tying his hair up (which disappointed Zuko).  
“What do you mean?”  
“This didn’t work before, so why would it work again?”  
“We’re different people now, we know what went wrong last time.” Sokka rubbed Zuko’s back, trying to reassure him, but it didn’t really help. Zuko shook his arm off, not wanting to be touched.  
“Are we though? Have we really changed?”  
“Of course we have, I’m not the stupid kid I was before, I’m not going anywhere this time, I’m staying right here.” Sokka really tried to comfort Zuko, but it was useless. Zuko was in a spiral of his own anxiety.  
“You said that last time, and then you left. I’m not going through that again.” Tears brimmed in Zuko’s eyes, and he dropped his head onto his knees, his black hair flooded over his arms and shoulders like a cloak. He felt himself falling down a hole of angst and regret, it was nearly overwhelming him.

“Oh baby, I promise you, I’m going to stay right here. Before, last time, I was just a stupid kid. Now, I want to spend my life with you, I want to stay with you. I know I can’t promise forever, but I can promise now, I can honestly and truly say I want to be with you right now.” Whispered Sokka. Zuko mumbled incoherently, he knew that Sokka meant what he said but it felt too perfect, it was too easy to say yes in the moment.  
“Sokka,” He lifted his head up and brushed the hair away from his face. “I know you mean that, I know you believe that now, but what about in five years, ten years?”  
“I can’t say that I know what’s going to happen then, but does that really matter? Does our future happiness outweigh our happiness now? Why should we care about what life has done in a decade, when life is happening now?” Anguish rolled out of Sokka’s mouth and over Zuko, who could feel his stress and panic.  
The Firelord sighed, “Sokka, I just mean that the idea of this really scares me. I’m terrified of the future, and I’m scared that I’m going to end up alone, again.”  
“But, that’s kind of what most of life is. It’s just making decisions that you hope will end up okay in the future.”

Zuko didn’t reply, he stayed quiet and stared off into the middle-distance. He knew that Sokka was technically right, and perhaps he should just dive into it and hope for the best. He thought it all over, mulling over every possible outcome, from the worst to the best. Eventually, he knew that he had to make a decision. Exhaling heavily, he turned to face Sokka, who was looking at him with worry.  
“Sokka, I’m sorry-” He began, but was interrupted.  
“Don’t sugar-coat it okay,” He snapped, shaking his head. “Just tell me you don’t want this and go. I don’t even want you anymore.”  
Zuko pulled a face, “What? I was going to say I’m sorry for being such a drama queen, and that I want to give this another go, but after that I might just, not.” He looked and felt very smug.  
Sokka blushed bright red, looking down into his lap. “Sorry.” He muttered, while Zuko laughed softly.  
“Can I continue now? I’m sorry for being so intense and dramatic about it, you’re right, we don’t know what the future has in store for us and I shouldn’t be so nervous to take the next step into my own happiness. I do want to do this, us, but can we take it slowly, please? I don’t want to rush into anything, I want to get it right this time.”  
Sokka smiled broadly, taking Zuko’s hands in his. “Of course we can, if, at any point, you feel like it’s too much, please just tell me. We’ve had enough problems because we both like to squash our feelings deep down and not talk about them. But, I just have one question? If we are going to take this slow, which I’m completely fine with, does that mean we have to stop having sex for a while, until we’re back at that stage of the relationship?” He looked awkwardly at the other man.  
Zuko giggled. “Sex isn’t everything, Sokka.”  
“I know but…you know…it’s…I really like it with you…” He pouted.  
“No, we don’t have to revert back to that awkward first few weeks of dating. I just don’t want to go too fast and end up rushing through everything.” Zuko shrugged, glad that Sokka had respected his decision.  
“I could never rush anything with you.”  
“Weeeeeeeell…” Zuko said nasally, the word was barely more than the sound of a door with squeaky hinges.  
“Rude!” Sokka pushed Zuko backwards onto the bed, peppering kisses all over his face and neck, both of them laughing with elated joy, tangled in sheets, happy that they could enjoy each other like this once again.

* * *

A month of bliss passed. Zuko and Sokka were sitting by the turtleduck pond, Sokka’s feet were in the water, and Zuko was lying on the ledge, head resting in Sokka’s lap. “Hey babe?” Sokka asked, looking down at Zuko  
“Yeah?” Zuko said, hanging his hand in the water. He could feel the cold on his fingers, the water running between them.  
“Do you want to go on a proper date tomorrow evening? We haven’t really done one yet, as much as I love flying to almost distant lands on Druk and picnicking with amazing views, but can we perhaps go out to dinner, properly?”  
Zuko sighed and looked up at the cloud in the sky above them. Occasionally his dragon would soar past, casting a shadow briefly over them. “Yeah, okay. What about the Oolong Lake?” Although he was ready for a date in public, he wasn’t sure he was ready for somewhere new yet.  
“Really? But we go like once a week anyway? At least let’s go to the Dancing Dragon or somewhere we don’t go regularly.” Sokka stroked his fingers through Zuko’s hair which was cascading over his legs.  
“I’m happy with the Dancing Dragon, that’s fine. I like it there.” Zuko said quietly.  
“You sure? You sound kinda sound reluctant.” Sokka asked concerned, looking down at Zuko, who was now distracted by a turtleduck that was very interested by his hand in the water. He sighed loudly, it had been nearly a month since Sokka and him had decided to give it another go, so it probably was time for a real date that wasn’t just a picnic in the middle of nowhere.  
“No,” Zuko sat up and swung his legs round into the water. “I’d like to go. A proper date, it’ll be nice.”  
“I’ll pick you up this evening then.” Sokka stood up and left Zuko by the pond, kissing him softly on the top of the head.

A knock at Zuko’s bedroom door surprised him in the middle of braiding his hair into a fancy topknot.  
“You’re early!” He shouted as Sokka came in and lay on the bed. “I’m not ready.”  
“You know you don’t have to dress up for everything.” Sokka muttered, while Zuko continued to plait his hair, glancing at Sokka in the mirror.  
“I do, or else the news in the morning will be ‘Firelord shirks his responsibilities while dressed in old robes! If he doesn’t care about himself, how can we trust he cares about us?’” Zuko grumbled, still trying to braid his hair but his fingers were getting tangled in the black locks.  
“Oh right, you’re the Firelord blah blah blah.” Sokka lifted his head inches to wink at Zuko in the reflection in the mirror.  
Zuko continued trying to do his hair, but eventually they were going to be late so he gave up and just put it up as normal. He apologised to Sokka about it, but Sokka still thought he looked hot.  
They left the palace, telling the guards and staff where they were going and not to follow them or wait up. Citizens did stop Zuko on the way, bowing deeply and gushing to him. It was a bit annoying, but he knew that it meant they did not fear him, like they had feared his father. The genuine smiles on their faces showed that he was doing well, that the Fire Nation was not staying stuck in its horrendous past.

Out of the main streets, the two of them finally had some time to themselves.  
“Sorry about that, you know…” Zuko kissed Sokka softly on the cheek, after checking there was no one around to see him.  
“No, I understand. But I was going to say that you look really beautiful tonight.” Sokka replied, returning Zuko’s kiss. Zuko blushed, it had been a long time since anyone had told him honestly that he looked nice, let alone beautiful. He was also quite proud of himself because he’d chosen the new clothes on his own. A deep red shirt with gold braided fastenings underneath a black jacket with gold cuffs and collar, it was slick and it was different to the usual extravagant robes with the huge shoulder pieces and hundreds of heavy layers which always made him feel like he was carrying Appa on his back. It was new and modern, and he really liked it. Although fashion wouldn’t change the world, he hoped that it might help change the image of the Fire Nation. But he also loved the fact that Sokka thought he looked beautiful.  
“Aren’t you going to tell me I look beautiful?” Sokka pouted, eyes as wide as plates. Zuko looked up and down, Sokka was in an azure sleeveless shirt, which showed off his arms, which looked extra muscly in the lambent light from the lanterns in the street. As usual, he had white fabric wrapped around his wrists and forearms, tattoos peeking out from underneath. Silver jewellery twinkled in his ears and a new necklace, which Zuko recognised as one of his own.  
“You do,” He said, raising his eyebrows. “But I’d be interested to hear where you got that necklace from.”  
“It was a gift from my boyfriend.” Sokka said, as they turned the corner to the restaurant.  
“Really? He has amazing taste; I’ll have to meet him sometime.”

Zuko opened the door to the Dancing Dragon and let Sokka in before him. They were shown to a private table upstairs on the balcony from which they could watch the sun setting. They ordered, then sat and waited, trying to have a conversation. It was as if as soon as they had entered the restaurant, it had suddenly become a terrible first date, like Zuko’s with Jin.  
“So um…”  
“So um…” They both said at the same time, awkwardly trying to start talking to each other.  
“You go first-” They both said again, laughing uncomfortably. The bottle of wine arrived and Sokka poured them both hefty glasses, which Zuko took a huge sip of.  
“This is nothing new, right?” He said, putting the glass down loudly. “So why is it really awkward?”  
“I was overthinking it, I wanted to ask you some interesting questions but all I could think of was ‘what’s your favourite animal’.” Sokka sipped his own wine, hiding his embarrassment behind the glass.  
“You know most things about me, we’ve run out of small talk.”  
“Okay then, let’s go in with the big questions then. Do you ever with you could bend something other than fire?”  
Zuko was taken aback at Sokka’s question, he’d not really thought about that. “I don’t know, I think being able to metalbend would be pretty cool, but the whole idea of waterbending amazes me, like I know it’s evil and we hate it etc. but the power that bloodbending must have is kind of fascinating.” As he looked at Sokka’s face, he realised he’d said the wrong thing. He’d sounded like his father. “No, that’s not what I mean. I just mean that there’s nothing like that for firebending, I would never, could never, do it even if I was a waterbender.” Zuko finished, hoping that Sokka would understand.  
“I mean I kind of get it, but as someone who’d actually been attacked by a bloodbender, it’s horrible. It’s like someone else is inside of you trying to get out, but you’re along stuck in quicksand and you can’t move to escape them.” He shivered and took another sip of his wine.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Zuko had forgotten that Sokka had been at the mercy of Hama once.  
“No, don’t worry. It only happened once, I’m sure it won’t happen again.” Sokka smiled and rubbed the back of Zuko’s hand on the table.  
“What about you?”  
“What? That I could bend something else? Instead of my boomerang?” Sarcasm dripped out of Sokka’s mouth. “Instead of you over a table?”  
Zuko rolled his eye, seeing Sokka smirking cheekily at him from across the table. “I mean do you ever wish you could bend?”  
“Honestly, I don’t know. Aang once told me that it was good that I couldn’t bend because I’d be to powerful. Boomerang, sword, genius, looks, comedy, I mean I could rule the world if I could bend something. But I don’t know, I see you firebending sometimes and it seems cool, but I have seen the damage it can do, and that scares me.” Zuko listened while he flicked a flame at the candle on the table but froze mid-action when Sokka said about how it scared him.  
“Sorry?” He apologised and put his hand down, the candle now flickering gently.  
“No, it’s fine. I know you and I know that fire is not a bad thing, that it doesn’t just mean harm. But maybe I’ll always associate it with the day our mother died.” Sokka pulled his hand away from Zuko’s and curled up defensively. Zuko looked at his boyfriend and felt tears up in his eyes, followed an overwhelming need to hug Sokka, then wrap him in blankets and cuddle him forever.  
“I’m so sorry for all of that. I can’t change that for you, but I really hope you know I’m never going to let anything like that happen again. I lost my mother to the Fire Nation too, and I’ve seen the damage first-hand. I’m sorry, Sokka, I really am.”  
Sokka smiled and unfolded his legs from his chest, reaching over to hold Zuko’s hand on the table again. “I know, you’re not the one who should be apologising. Why can’t we talk about normal things on dates?” He said, shaking his head and sitting back in the chair. The light from the sun was almost all gone now, and the small candle flame illuminated Sokka’s face, carving shape lines over his cheekbones and Zuko found himself staring longingly.  
“We grew up in a war, most of who we are is going to be based on what happened then.” Zuko replied as their food arrived.

Unlike the last time they’d been there, the two of them didn’t fall silent and scoff down their meals. They actually savoured the food and the conversation. They even managed to avoid talking about their traumas, and instead talked about everything else.  
“How are you never cold?” Zuko asked, a chill breeze was blowing over them and Zuko had been shivering for a while, astonished that Sokka was fine.  
“I grew up surrounded by ice and snow, this is still almost too hot for me. You’re the one who’s never too hot? I don’t understand you, when I touch you, I feel like I could cook something on your skin.”  
“’Fire? Nation? I can literally breathe fire, you remember that, right?” Zuko assumed it was obvious.  
“Oh, I remember.” Sokka purred and Zuko gulped, flustered and suddenly very hot.  
The conversation moved on, and Zuko calmed down. As he and Sokka talked, he began to remember why he’d loved him seven, nearly eight, years ago. Sokka’s ability to tell stories about the most menial things managed to draw him in like it was a tale of adventure, how enthusiastic he was when he talked about something he loved, like a new invention or cartography. Zuko always seemed to find himself enticed by whatever Sokka had to say. It didn’t matter if it was about how to cook sea prunes – which Zuko agreed with Aang that they were disgusting – or how to improve the war balloons; Zuko was always entranced by Sokka’s enthusiasm and passion for the subject.

After they finished their food, and after bottle of wine number two had been almost drunk, Zuko paid and the two of them left, staggering a bit out of the restaurant.  
“Sokkaaaaaaaa,’ Zuko slurred, holding his boyfriend’s hand and swinging their arms up and down. “Why did we stop dating?”  
“Because you’re too good for me.” Sokka replied, wobbling along the uneven streets. Zuko swung Sokka into a sloppy kiss against wall, under a weakly burning lantern.  
“You’re too good for me.” Zuko replied, and they eventually made it back to the palace, falling onto Zuko’s bed and dropping to sleep quickly.  
  
A letter arrived for Zuko three weeks later. After series of more public dates, they were happily going out for dinner or lunch or even just to go shopping, the time hadn’t been long, but by the time the letter had arrived, enough had changed.  
The letter was from Mai, it had big news that excited Zuko as he read it.

Firelord Zuko,  
I hope you are doing well,  
I hope that it’s not too weird to be around Sokka this much, Azula told me about him being Ambassador.  
But anyway, for once we have some interesting news.  
We’re getting married, Ty Lee said yes, not that I thought she’d say anything else.  
She’s gone into full wedding planning mode, but all I know is that I have to choose between fuchsia and magenta for something. There’s only one shade of black, I don’t care (I do actually care, but don’t tell my fiancé that). I think you should get the invites soon; we’re not wasting time.

Love,  
Mai.

Zuko put the letter down and smiled gleefully, not only did it mean other wedding – not that he liked to admit it, but he loved a wedding – it was also a marker than more of their friends were moving on with their lives and getting to the next stage.  
Smiling widely, Zuko continued with work until he was interrupted by Sokka, who barged into the room and slapped a piece of paper down on the desk in front of him. A wedding invite.  
“I didn’t know Mai and Ty Lee were getting married!” Sokka shouted, dropping down onto Zuko’s lap.  
“Neither did I until just now.” Zuko picked up the letter from Mai and showed it to Sokka. Apparently, the letter had been delayed and hadn’t arrived until the same day as the invitation.  
“Oooooh! I’m very excited now!” Sokka wrapped him arms around Zuko’s neck and squeezed him tightly. “I love weddings!”  
“You’ve been to like, two, ever.” Zuko muttered into Sokka’s lips, kissing him softly.  
Eventually, Sokka left and Zuko got back to work, but his head was still distracted but the news from his best friends.

Later that day, Sokka and Zuko were lying in bed, Sokka was tracing over the lines of ink on Zuko’s back. The young Firelord shivered at his boyfriend’s touch, feeling Sokka’s cold fingers on his skin.  
“Hey, so I was thinking,” Zuko said, slightly muffled because his face was squashed into a pillow. “Sokka?”  
“Huh?” Sokka replied, as Zuko rolled onto his back, looking dreamily up at Sokka.  
“I was thinking, maybe the wedding would be a good time to tell our friends about this.” Zuko had been distracted from work all day, thinking about the upcoming nuptials.  
“Really?” Sokka looked surprised.  
“Yeah,” Zuko replied. “I think it’s been long enough, I’m ready to tell them. They deserve to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comments and bookmarks are always appreciated


	20. We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oblivious friends are in denial

The invitation had given them two months until the ceremony, which seemed like a long time, but it was suddenly upon them. The wedding was on one of the Fire Nation islands, where Ty Lee’s family came from. It was a bit of a journey from the capital, but Zuko and Sokka were flying on Druk so the flight was shorter, or so Zuko kept telling Sokka.   
“It’s fine, it’s just like flying on Appa except less fluffy.” He said while throwing cases into Druk’s saddle. Sokka was stood on the ground with his arms crossed, looking suspiciously at the red dragon.   
“I don’t know…”   
“Sokka, it’s only like a three-hour flight, I’ve seen you spend longer cleaning your boomerang.” He reached out a hand and pulled Sokka up onto the dragon.   
“I’m not sure Zuko.” Sokka still sounded nervous but sat down on the saddle anyway. Zuko kissed him softly on the forehead and tapped Druk lightly on the neck to tell him to take off. They flew over the seas, the sharp wind whipping around them. Sokka seemed unperturbed by the cold but Zuko stole one of Sokka’s fur coats and pulled it around him. The fluff tickled his neck and he stared at Sokka, wearing yet another sleeveless tunic, in awe. 

Eventually they landed, the dragon dropping heavily onto an open patch of grass. They unpacked their bags and made their way to the house where everyone was staying.   
“Are you sure you’re happy to tell them all about us?” Sokka said, stopped Zuko before they went inside.   
“I am, they deserve to know and to be honest I’d really like to tell them.” Zuko squeezed Sokka’s hand and they knocked on the door. 

“Ahhhhh!” Ty Lee screamed when she saw the two of them, hugging Zuko and Sokka in turn.   
“Congratulations you two!” Sokka replied, hugging Mai awkwardly, and squeezing Ty Lee in a strong embrace. Zuko did similar, except Mai was the one receiving the huge hug.   
“Congratulations Mai.”   
“Thanks Zuzu.” She said, pulling away from the hug. “Let’s show you to your room.”   
As the four of them walked down the corridors to their room, Mai whispered to Zuko, “Thanks for offering to share a room with him, it’s been difficult to fit in all of her family. It won’t be for long, but I know it might be a bit awkward.”   
“Um actually-” Zuko began, but they reached their room before he could finish.   
“So you guys are in here, dinner is in two hours, but come down to the veranda earlier if you want.” She looked at Zuko as he spoke, insinuating that Zuko wouldn’t want to be stuck in a room with Sokka for long.   
“See you in a bit.” Zuko said, waving the couple off. He turned to Sokka once they were alone. “I tried to tell her.” He shrugged, and Sokka replied with the same thing. 

After an hour, Zuko and Sokka were both naked, sweaty and tired, but knew they both had to be downstairs soon.   
“We really should tell them properly.” Sokka said, getting up to get dressed.   
“Let’s do it tonight, I don’t want to make scene during the actual wedding.” Zuko responded, grabbing some clean clothes from his bag and putting them on. After another hour of getting distracted between unpacking and changing they made it downstairs. 

On the terrace, they were surprised at seeing all of their friends, who had arrived throughout the day. Katara and Sokka hugged for what seemed like forever, gushing to one another about family and home. Zuko and Azula embraced one another too, no words, just silent recognition of each other’s work and efforts over the last few months.   
After they had greeted their siblings, they went around all the others, Aang, Suki, Toph. Hugs and kisses were exchanged, and they caught up with everyone about their lives since the last time they’d been together. Sokka was happy to hear that Suki had a new girlfriend, and Zuko found out that Azula had a particularly promising lead on their mother. They found out that Toph was casually dating someone, though she refused to tell them anymore than that; and that Aang had reconnected more with his past lives. 

Conversations and nostalgia rained over them, until Mai and Ty Lee had to let their other guests mingle with their best friends. Sokka and Zuko were separated before they had a change to tell their friends, and Zuko wasn’t quite ready to announce it to a bunch of strangers, who knew exactly who he was.   
“So Zuko, we heard that you brought a date to this one? Who’s the lucky man?” Aang asked Zuko, as they sipped drinks and chatted in polite company.   
“Oh, he’s over there.” Gestured Zuko, waving his hand towards Sokka, who was talking to one of Mai’s cousins.   
“Where? That guy talking to Sokka?” Aang asked, looking confused at Zuko.   
The Firelord smirked, “No, it’s, well I came with Sokka.” He said, waiting for the Avatar’s reaction.   
“Oh, you guys came as friends, I’m glad it all worked out.” Aang smiled broadly at Zuko, who sighed heavily and grabbed another drink from the table next to them.   
He was about to correct Aang when Katara dragged him off to meet someone else at the party. “Sorry Zuko, but if you’ll excuse me, I need to steal my husband away from you.”   
“By all means.” Zuko smiled and wandered over to Sokka, who was circling the buffet table like a hawk. “How’s it going?”   
“It feels like every time I try to tell someone I get interrupted or something.” Sokka pouted and grabbed a handful of fireflakes.   
“Same here,” Zuko stole some of the snacks and munched on them. “We’re still going tell them, right?”  
“Of course, just apparently the universe doesn’t want us to.” 

Interactions where Sokka and Zuko tried to tell their friends kept happening, but their friends just couldn’t seem to grasp it, or things kept disrupting their efforts. 

“Oh Zuko, where’s your date?” Katara asked while they were having lunch the next day.   
“He’s in the room I think.”   
“But I just came from there and Sokka’s in there.” She said, looking confused and Zuko sighed exasperatedly. “So, where is he then? I’d love to meet him.”   
Zuko tried so hard not to laugh at her naivety, “Kat, think about it.”  
“What?”   
“Oh Agni. He’s-” Zuko began, but they were interrupted by Toph and Suki, who’d come in arguing about whether Suki had the right to launch a coup to take over the Dai Li.   
“Kyoshi would have.”   
“No, Toph, she wouldn’t.”   
“Why don’t we get Aang to ask her.”   
Zuko sat back as listened as the argument continued, with Katara, Ty Lee, Mai, Azula, and Aang all getting involved. He felt a hand on his shoulder and Sokka sat down next to him.   
“You told them yet?”   
“I tried, I really did.” Zuko took Sokka’s hand and squeezed it. Sokka lifted their clasped hands and kissed the back of Zuko’s. It wasn’t sneaky or surreptitious, but the others were too busy trying to force Aang to connect with Kyoshi to notice. 

“Sokka, are you wearing a Fire Nation necklace?” Suki asked as she ushered them into the room where the ceremony was taking place. Once again she was in charge of all wedding organisation, mostly because she took no nonsense from guests who wanted to change the seating plan or bring an extra plus one.   
The two of them froze, realising that this might be when at least someone found out.   
“Yeah it’s Zuko’s actually.” Sokka replied, glancing at his boyfriend. Zuko shrugged and reached out to hold Sokka’s hand, the fabric of their robes hiding the touch too well.   
“Glad to see you two getting along.” She said, distracted by one of Ty Lee’s sisters who had decided that bringing a plus one unannounced would be totally fine. “I need to sort this out, see you in a bit.” Suki dashed off, ready to kill a man with her bare hands.   
“How do they not get it?!” Zuko turned to face Sokka, dropping his head on Sokka’s shoulder.   
“Maybe they’re all in denial about it.” Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko and hugged him tightly. It was getting ridiculous now, it really did feel like the universe was sending them signs that they shouldn’t tell their friends.   
“Can we just, leave it until the reception? This isn’t our moment for attention.” Zuko asked as they took their seats in the front row.   
“Sure thing.” Sokka replied and squeezed Zuko’s hand, but once again the long fabric of both of their robes hid the intimacy, so when Katara sat down next to her brother, she didn’t see a thing. 

Zuko cried weddings. He pretended he didn’t but the tears flooding down his face after Ty Lee had said her vows told a different story. Now it was Mai’s turn to make him cry even more.   
“Ty Lee, we’ve known each other for our whole lives. Lives that were once surrounded by war and conflict, but somehow, through all of that, you made the days okay. From that time when you helped me at the Boiling Rock, instead of Azula. Sorry ‘Zula.” She looked over to Zuko’s sister, who smiled and shook her head.   
“It’s fine, I’m over it.”   
“From then,” Mai continued, “I realised that you weren’t the ditsy girl that people used to assume you were. As we grew up together, in a world that wasn’t defined by war, but instead by peace and growth, I started to fall in love with you. I know I’m not very good at expressing my feelings, but with you, I never had a problem. And then when you kissed me at that party, I wanted time to stop. But it doesn’t and that’s the beauty of it, that we get to have our lives together now. We get to be with each other through time, through the good parts and the hard parts. Life, as everyone here knows, is not easy, and sometimes it feels like the spirits are playing a game of Pai Sho with our lives, but with you, it’s easier. Loving you is like a cheating at life, it’s like having shortcut to happiness.” She finished and Zuko was an emotional mess, he really wished he was a waterbender then so he could get rid of the tears that were streaming down his cheeks and into his lap. 

The ceremony continued: rings were given, Ty Lee dipped Mai into a kiss, Zuko cried some more, squeezing Sokka’s hand under the robes.   
“I’m not sure I can feel my fingers.” Sokka whispered at one point and Zuko relaxed his grip.   
Eventually, Iroh pronounced them wife and wife, and Ty Lee carried Mai down the aisle, cherry blossom petals were tossed over them. Aang blew them into heart shapes and archways that dropped on top of the couple as they walked away.   
Zuko was still crying as he watched two more of his best friends start a new part of their lives together, and he hoped that one day it might be him and Sokka walking down that aisle. But for now, he was happy exactly where he was. 

Yet another wedding party meant another excuse to get very drunk and celebrate raucously with their friends and family. The nine of them danced, sang, partied, and kissed. Zuko and Sokka didn’t want to distract from the newlyweds, but as more wine was consumed, inhibitions were lowered. 

“Zuko!” Azula shouted as they danced. “Where’s this date of yours I keep hearing about? Why weren’t you sat with anyone else at dinner or at the ceremony?”   
“I didn’t bring a date!” He replied, about to continue to explain.   
“But Mai said you had replied with a plus one!” She danced over to him, looking him fiercely in the eye. He glanced at Sokka, who was drunkenly pouring another drink for him and Suki.   
“No, I didn’t!” Zuko cried. “I didn’t bring anyone you don’t know.” 

Over by the drinks table, Sokka was having a similar conversation with his ex-girlfriend.   
“Sokkaaaaa. Where’s this mysterious date of yours? I want to meet them.”   
“I didn’t bring a date!”   
“But I have you down as bringing a plus one on the guest list!” She gulped down a glass of wine and Sokka glanced across as Zuko, who was being intimidated by his sister.   
“I didn’t bring a mysterious date!” 

Zuko tried to go and join Sokka, needing another drink, but he was pulled away by Katara and Aang.   
“Zukooooo,” Aang slurred, being poorly held up by Katara. “I don’t want to talk about work buuuuuuuut how are the plans for Republic City going?”   
“You’ll have to talk to my boyfriend about that.” Zuko tried so hard to not slur his words, but each syllable came out very pronounced.   
“Boyfrienddddddd? I thought you didn’t bring a date?” Katara looked at him with glazed eyes and she stuck her finger right in his face, as if she were interrogating his murder.   
Once again, Zuko tried to explain, but when the band played started playing the introduction to a song that they all knew, Aang dashed to the dancefloor, dragging Katara and Zuko with him.   
The group carolled loudly, stood in a circle, arms around each other’s shoulders. They swayed as they sang, looking at each other with love and affection. The nine people, four of whom were now married, felt so much like a family in that moment. They crooned the words to song that took them back to their childhoods, to a very different time.   
“TWO LOVEEEEEERS, FORBIDDEN FROM ONE ANOTHEEEEEER, A WAR DIVIDES THEIR PEOPLE!” The words seemed to raise the roof, and Zuko and Sokka stared lovingly at each other from across the ring. It was look that meant happiness and readiness for them, they knew it was time to stop being bested by excuses and just tell their friends.   
“…and then it goes SECRET TUNNEEEEEEL! SECRET TUNNEEEEL! THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS, SECRET TUNNEEEEL!” They all fell about with laughter, falling into one another for support, despite the problem that they were all equally drunk. 

Zuko gestured to Sokka for them to head outside to cool off and get some air. They sat down on the grass outside, atop a cliff where they could look out to sea.   
“Last time we were at a wedding we had a massive argument because you thought I didn’t care about you.’” Zuko laughed, leaning on Sokka.   
“Can you blame me? I didn’t know you had loved me then.” Sokka kissed Zuko softly on the forehead and the two of them sat in the quiet for a long moment, savouring the peace and privacy before they knew they had to tell their friends the truth. It was a last moment of having a secret that was itching to get out.   
“Right, let’s go.” Zuko stood up and pulled Sokka up with one arm, but the wine was causing problems and they both staggered heavily.   
“Woah! Let’s go.” 

Despite their attempts to really look like a couple, Zuko was pulled away by Aang and Sokka was dragged back to the dancefloor by Ty Lee and Suki.   
“Zukooooooo, you have to tell me who this boyfriend is? Because I thought Sokka was doing most of the planning for Republic City.” Aang tried to look like he really wanted answers, but even now, Zuko thought his face was too cute to look menacing.   
“Yes, he is.” Zuko couldn’t contain his laughter, and all of the others heard it and joined the two men. The group stood staring at the guffawing Firelord in confusion.  
“Zuzu, what’s so funny?” Azula asked, a glass of wine in each hand. Sokka was looking at Zuko and Aang, confused until he realised what was happening.   
“It’s just…you guys…I can’t…” He tried to speak between snorts, but the laughter had taken him over. Sokka was trying to suppress giggles behind his hands, but his eyes were beginning to water with the strain.   
“Whatcha say to him Twinkletoes?” Toph punched the Avatar.   
“I just asked how his boyfriend was getting on with the plans for Republic City?” Aang shrugged, and Zuko was almost bent double, creasing with laughter.   
“But, Sokka’s doing the plans for Republic City?” Katara and Mai turned to him, and he snorted loudly, joining Zuko in fits of giggles.   
They two of them laughed loudly at the confusion of the others, it wasn’t actually that funny but the wine had made everything seem ten times more hilarious.   
“Oooooooh!” Suki suddenly exclaimed, realising and also starting to laugh.   
Zuko stood up straight, watching each of his friends react as they figured it out. Sokka shuffled over to him and Zuko leaned on his boyfriend’s shoulder.   
“OH!” Katara and Ty Lee screamed, flapping their hands with excitement. Eventually the others caught on, and Zuko sighed, raising his eyebrows at Sokka.   
“But I thought you both brought plus ones?” Aang said, still a little confused.   
“We’re each other’s plus ones! I’m his date!” Sokka had stopped laughing and was grinning broadly.   
“That’s why you were happy to share a room!” Mai blurted out, squeezing Ty Lee with delight.   
“I thought I could feel something banging against the wall last night.” Toph shook her head, smirking at Zuko. He smiled back but noticed that Azula was unusually quiet, no snide comments or harsh remarks. 

After a barrage of drunk questions that no one would remember in the morning, Zuko and Sokka explained their rekindled relationship. The group dispersed back to the dancefloor and drinks table, but Azula lingered with Zuko and Sokka.   
“Sis? You alright?”   
“Sokka, can I have minute with my brother?” She sounded very sober to Zuko’s drunk mind, and he was nervous about what she’d say.   
After Sokka had wandered off, Zuko turned to his sister, ready for a scolding. “Don’t tell me, I already know.”   
“Zuzu, I’m just worried that you’re going to get your heart broken again. I really hope you’ve considered this.”  
“Azula, I promise it’s different this time. We’re not kids anymore, I really thought about it.” His words were still a little slurred, but the point was clear.   
“I’m sure you have, but I know you can fall headfirst sometimes. I am happy for you, but please be careful.” She warned him, before heading back to get more wine. 

Sokka snuck up behind Zuko while he was pouring a drink. “Can you do one for me?”   
“Argh!” Zuko felt Sokka’s arms wrap around his waist and squeeze him tightly, now they were able to be like in public, they felt like they couldn’t stop. They continued to drink and dance and party until the sun was about to come up. As the skies faded from black to dusky blue, Sokka and Zuko collapsed into bed, drunkenly talking to one another about what they liked about each other.  
“I love your hair.” Sokka slurred, stroking Zuko’s black braids.   
“I love your tattoos.”   
“I love your arms.”  
“I love your face.”  
“I love your eyes.”  
“I love your lips.”   
“I love you…” Sokka mumbled as he fell asleep, Zuko was sure that he’s added a noun after the you, but he quickly dropped out of consciousness too. 

In the morning, later than they’d gone to bed at least, the group of nine friends were once again suffering from their own riotous behaviour, and the quantities of alcohol streaming through their systems. For once, Suki was not the one with her head in a bucket, this time Toph was retching, with Katara rubbing her back.   
Zuko and Sokka sat down on a futon sofa, headaches throbbing and nausea swimming in their stomachs. Zuko dropped onto Sokka’s lap, curling his knees up to his chest. Sokka gently played with his hair, it didn’t really help but it just felt nice.   
“Wait, what’s going on here?” Aang suddenly noticed the two of them on the sofa, and all of the others – apart from Toph, face still in a bucket – looked up, shock running over their faces.   
“We did, tell them? That happened, right?” Sokka whispered to Zuko, who nodded gently, looked around at their shocked friends.   
“No, hold on, it’s coming back to me.” Katara said, closing her eyes and thinking about the previous night, or the glimpses she could remember. The other all eventually remembered Zuko and Sokka’s announcement, which also came with memories of the shenanigans they’d got up to. Who knew that a group of adults in their twenties would act like such children when they were all together. 

As they were all leaving, going their separate ways on a dragon, a sky bison, ships, and air balloons, Zuko noticed Azula pull Sokka aside. She was talking intensely to him, and Zuko could see how nervous his boyfriend looked. After a moment or five, Sokka climbed up the side of the dragon and sat down behind Zuko.   
“What was that about?” 

Sokka didn’t reply, he was still shellshocked from Azula’s confrontation.   
“Sokka?”   
“She kinda, you know, threatened my life. Quote: “I swear to Agni, tui and La, if you break my brother’s heart again, there are things that I would do to you that I wouldn’t ever consider doing to my father.” He did a terrible impression Azula, but the point was still made.   
“Oh god. She’s intense, but I do have a vague memory of Katara saying something to me when we started dating the first time.”   
“What I’d give to be an only child…” Sokka sighed and lay back on the dragon as they flew through the sky, the wind and fresh air helping cure the hangover. The water glittered below them, and Zuko and Sokka were left in a perfect moment. Just the two of them, no distractions, no problems. It was picturesque.


	21. Silence in the Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bakoda? Bakoda.  
> Zuko with child? Zuko with child.  
> Zukka shopping? Zukka shopping.

Days ticked by, and they became months. Zuko and Sokka’s relationship seemed to get better and better. It appeared that because they’d been there before, the honeymoon period of bliss and perfection didn’t have to happen. Their first fight wasn’t such a blowout, it wasn’t so cataclysmic for them, because that one had already happened. Their relationship was slightly more sentimental this time, at least at the beginning it was. Then they realised that they couldn’t get stuck in what had failed before and tried not to talk about their first attempt at this relationship. But nostalgia is addictive, and it found its way back into conversation.

It was of their day off, when neither of them had to think about work: the intricacies of Fire Nation life, or the road layout for the new city they were building. So, naturally, they went shopping. Through the narrow streets which crowed with people, the Firelord and his boyfriend dipped into shops and browsed at stalls.  
“What do think?” Sokka flung another scarf around his shoulders dramatically, while Zuko pretended to still be interested in the twentieth scarf and the eighth kimono. He quite liked the shopping, but the attention he got from the public was sometimes too much.  
“It’s nice, I liked the previous one though.” He sighed heavily, sitting on a chair by the mirror Sokka was posing in front of.  
“Really? But this one is cheaper?”  
“You know that’s not an issue.” Zuko groaned, just wanting to be at home. “Can we go? I’m tired.” He slouched on his hands and yawned.  
“Hey,” Sokka crouched in front of him, still wearing the scarf. “Are you alright?”  
“Look, I love shopping with you, but it gets a bit overwhelming sometimes.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry. We can go if you want?” Zuko watched Sokka’s face fall and suddenly felt terrible about wanting to leave.  
“No, I just, I…just need to rest a moment.” He breathed deeply, trying to energise himself for more retail therapy.  
Sokka didn’t reply, silent for a moment, then he said “Hey, I know where we can go that you’ll like.”

Zuko paid for the scarf, after convincing Sokka that he could buy the nicer one. Sokka lead Zuko down even narrower streets, into areas that were hauntingly empty. But they didn’t overwhelm Zuko, and he felt better after they walked for a while.  
Eventually, they reached a small store, the exterior didn’t give anything away to what it was for, and Zuko was worried that Sokka has dragged him into something less than legal, especially after Sokka tapped a rhythmic knock on the door.  
“Sokka, where in the agni kai are we?”  
“Just trust me.” The door opened and Zuko stepped inside. His mouth dropped open as he saw what the shop sold.  
Floor to ceiling, various types of knives, swords, bows, and arrows lined the walls. From the outside, the shop was so unassuming that no one would think the contents was worth a fortune. Sokka was already dashing from blade to bow, stroking the metal with his finger. Zuko laughed softly, and then started browsing the Dao swords displayed in the middle of the room. He felt their weight, the balance of the blade to the hilt, the sharpness of the edge. He didn’t need them anymore, the motif of the Blue Spirit and his two swords was long gone, so were the days when he had to hide his firebending.  
“Mr. Sokka,” An old man appeared at the back of the shop, holding a long package, wrapped in red silks. “I have what you order.” He placed it down on the table, Sokka walked over to it and stroked the fabric, feeling the object underneath.  
“Sokka, what’s that?” Zuko put down a dagger with intricate carvings in the handle, thinking of a gift for Mai’s birthday.  
“This was supposed to be your birthday present, but I could give it to you now.” Sokka pondered, tapping his fingers on the surface. Zuko’s curiosity overwhelmed him and he joined Sokka by the table, wanting to know what was underneath the cloth.  
“It’s my birthday in two weeks so it could count as an early present.” He pouted, itching to get the gift. Sokka paused, contemplating Zuko’s terrible reasoning, eventually giving in to his boyfriend’s pouting face. He stepped aside to let Zuko open the present, lips pursed in anticipation.

Zuko stroked the fabric, feeling its fold and creases, before opening the layers and revealing the object inside. A silver blade shone in the sunlight, covered with detailed engravings of traditional Fire Nation patterns. The hilt was black, gold, and red, a tightly wound leather strap was just below a minutely detailed blade collar and guard. It was absolutely beautiful, and Zuko almost didn’t want to pick it up because he felt he would spoil it.  
“Sokka, this is incredible, thank you so much.” He hugged Sokka tightly, kissing him on the cheek.  
“You know you’re allowed to use it?” He said, gesturing for Zuko to pick up the weapon. He did, feeling the balance it on his finger. He spun it in his hand, it sliced through the air and Zuko felt like it was going to slice between worlds.  
“Woah!” Sokka exclaimed, leaning back so he wouldn’t lose his beard or eyebrows. “Let’s go outside.” Zuko was led into a courtyard behind the shop, where Sokka drew his own sword, gesturing for Zuko to do the same.

Their weapons clashed, the blades collided, and sparks fluttered in the air. It was like a dance for them, footwork was light and scattered across the ground. Zuko’s robes flowed around him, red and gold fabric swirled like flames engulfing him which were hit by the water blue of Sokka’s clothes. Between the two colours, it was like the elements of their home nations in a perpetual dance. They pirouetted through the air, flipping and flying like Druk and Appa. The weapon in his hand was light and nimble, it felt like he’d been using it for years, like it was an extension of his arm. They collided, and Zuko felt adrenaline rushing through his veins. It was electric, and he loved being able to do this again, his life left him too busy to practise anymore.  
As they sparred, the connection between them grew, like clouds building before a storm.  
“You’re good.” Zuko panted, trying not to show his exhaustion.  
“I’m better than good.” Sokka replied, catching Zuko in a second’s pause and very nearly disarming him. But Zuko wasn’t that stupid, he disoriented Sokka and they landed on the ground. Sokka was on his back, Zuko straddled on top of him, hold his new sword to his boyfriend’s throat, both of them panting and sweating gently. It was intense and their hearts pounded, almost in sync.  
“There was a time when I would have been terrified for my life if you’d beaten me like this.” Sokka whispered, looking down at the blade which had taken off a couple of beard hairs.  
“Sorry.” Breathed Zuko, putting the weapon down. “The first times we met you beat me, with your boomerang.”  
“Always trust the boomerang.” Sokka said as Zuko helped him up, brushing the dust off. “We should do this more often. It’s fun.”  
“We definitely should, maybe next time you’ll beat me.”

* * *

In an effort to open up the Fire Nation, to improve the relationship between the people and the government, Sokka had suggested that they host tours of the palace. Only of the official and ceremonial spaces, they didn’t want the Lee family nosing around their bedroom. Sometimes Zuko and Sokka was tag along at the back of the tour groups, acting as curious tourists obsessed with the royal family. It was fun, they liked asking awkward questions and pretending to be people they weren’t. Usually, though, they were both working when the tours were happening.

Zuko was finishing up some paperwork about how they were going to fund Republic City and was on his way to Sokka’s office slash workshop down the halls. He took a shortcut through the throne room which was cloaked in darkness, long shadows from the columns and drapery on the walls. About halfway across the room, he stopped after hearing a whimper from the corner of the room.  
“Hello?” He called, looking around in the darkness. The noise happened again and Zuko created a ball of fire in his hand to illuminate the room. “Is there someone there?” He followed the noise, and found a small figure crouched behind a column.

A young girl with dark hair hanging over her face was crying softly; her face was buried I her hands and her knees were pulled tightly to her chest.  
“Hey there.” Zuko said softly, crouching down beside her and weakening the fire in his hand so it wasn’t so bright. The girl sniffed loudly and looked up, her face stained with tears and her cheeks puffy. “Are you alright?” Zuko asked. The girl shook her head, and curled back up, whimpering again.  
“What’s your name sweetheart?”  
“Ozuka.” She sniffed.  
“Did you lose your family Ozuka?”  
“Uh-huh.”  
“Do you want to come with me to try to find them?”  
She shook her head again, and Zuko sat down properly next to her, noticing that she was holding a fluffy toy of Appa. “Who’s that?” He asked, pointing to the toy.  
“Appa.” Mumbled Ozuka, holding it up.  
“Wow! He’s so cute! Did you know I’ve ridden him?”  
She looked up, eyes wide like the moon, a look of absolute astonishment on her face. “Woah! Have you met the Avatar?” Her quiet voice melted Zuko’s heart.  
“I have, you know we used to go on adventures together?” With every word, Ozuka was less upset and she relaxed a bit.  
“Did you go with Toph and Katawa?” She sniffed, hugging the toy tightly.  
“Uh-huh. You know Sokka? He was there too.”  
She shook her head and Zuko’s heart fell a little. “What can he bend?” Asked the girl inquisitively.  
“He’s not a bender.”  
“Oh.” The child’s face fell, and Zuko’s heart sank a little deeper. He didn’t like how people still underestimated non-benders, especially Sokka. Although the girl was only little, he wanted to make sure that she knew that it didn’t matter if she could bend or not.  
“You know, lots of people who can’t bend are just as important. Sokka is amazing at so many things. He’s a master swordsman, but also uses this thing called a boomerang which always comes back to him. But he’s also really clever, once he helped us escape from somewhere that was said to be impossible. He’s amazing at reading maps and always getting us home. He can come up with the most incredible ideas, I swear he could dream up entire worlds if he wanted. He’s like starlight, he glistens in the night and twinkles with inspiration. He catches you like a spiderfly in its own web and weaves tales around you like he wants to keep you forever in his story.” Zuko gushed, Ozuka was watching him with an open mouth, the light of Zuko’s flame flickering on her sweet face.  
“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.” Sokka’s voice surprised them both, and Zuko turned to see him leaning against a pillar in the dark.  
“Sokka.” Zuko whispered, and his boyfriend sat down next to him. They smiled softly at each other, in a quiet understanding.  
“Who’s this little one?” Sokka smiled at the girl, who introduced herself. “Ozuka? That’s a lovely name. I think your mother is looking for you.” He said softly.  
“Shall we go and find her?” Zuko stood up slowly, holding his hand out to the girl. She took it reluctantly and tugged on his hand, wanting to be picked up. Zuko lifted her up and she clung around his neck like Momo used to do to Aang. It came naturally to him, and he felt comfortable with her perched on his hip.

They walked out to the front of the palace, where the rest of the tour group were waiting, with Ozuka’s parents wringing their hands with worry and concern.  
“Ozuka!” Her mother cried, dashing over to them and taking her daughter from the Firelord, looking both terrified and grateful. “My Lord Zuko, I’m so sorry about her, I told her not to wander off. I hope she didn’t cause any trouble, she’s such a rascal sometimes.”  
“It was honestly no problem; the palace is big and dark and it’s easy to get lost sometimes. She’s a lovely little girl.” He smiled and felt Sokka’s arm wrap around his waist. The tour group left and Zuko and Sokka were left alone in the courtyard.  
“I’m like starlight, am I?” Sokka whispered in Zuko’s ear, the feeling of Sokka’s breath on his skin made him shiver.  
“Only at its best at night.” Zuko replied, kissing Sokka on the cheek.  
“Really? Want to test that theory?” He purred and Zuko felt his heart beat a little faster. They walked quickly inside, passing staff in the corridors, the tension building between them.

The door was slammed behind Zuko and the two of them dropped onto the bed. Hands were under and over fabrics, kisses were dotted on skin, hair was tied up, words were whispered between them.  
“You know,” Sokka muttered, pausing between leaving kisses on Zuko’s neck. “You were really good with that little girl earlier.”  
“Is now really the time?” Zuko replied, his hands tangled in the ties on Sokka’s robes.  
“Ever want to have one?” Sokka sat back on his haunches, and Zuko felt the mood disintegrate.  
“A child? I’m not sure it’s possible.”  
“No, you know what I mean.”  
“I’m probably supposed to produce an heir to take over when I’m gone.” Zuko replied, fiddling with Sokka’s now loosely undone robes. “But do we have to talk about that now?” He tugged impatiently at Sokka’s clothes, wanting to continue what they’d started.  
“You’re right, we can talk about it later.” Sokka leaned down and recommenced his kisses on Zuko’s neck.

* * *

Zuko was working his way through the letters that had arrived for him when he came across a scroll from the Southern Water Tribe. Initially, he was going to give it to Sokka, who was going through his own post, thinking it was for him. But the tag on the letter was addressed to him. He broke the seal and unrolled the paper.

_“Dear Firelord Zuko,_

_We don’t know each other that well, so I apologise for the openness of my letter. I can ask you not to tell Sokka, but I feel that asking you to keep secrets from him would be impossible._   
_I wanted to ask you, how did you tell Sokka how you felt about him?_   
_I seem to find myself gazing at someone, who shall remain nameless for now, a lot of the time. I listen to his their voice and seem to fall for it more each time. Spending time with them is my favourite part of the day, whether it’s for work or in our spare time, and I want to do it more, but I don’t know if they feel the same way. Their history in relationships is not with someone like me, and I couldn’t bear to lose them as a friend if I ever confessed my feelings._   
_There are moments that make me think that he feels the same way, but I don’t know if it’s just my heart looking for something that isn’t there. So, please, if you could tell me how to do something about this, so I don’t spend my life full of heartache. I want him to know how I fell but I don’t want it to cut a gaping hole my life as it is now. And then if it changes for the better, I might send you another letter, titled ‘how to navigate a relationship with the leader of a country’._   
_I feel I have perhaps given away who I am talking about, so please I’m asking you not to tell Sokka that I have feelings for his father._

_Thank you, I would appreciate your insight, but if you don’t have advice, I understand._

_Spirits be with you,_   
_Bato of the Water Tribe._

Zuko put the letter down and leaned back in his chair. He thought about how he’d confessed his feelings to Sokka, but the memories were lost over the years. The first time, it had been after a panic attack and a shakingly raw moment alone. The second time had been after a few drinks and an argument at a wedding, but it hadn’t flourished into anything. The third, and final time, was on the roof, after a fraught moment in a council meeting and emotions were running high. It seemed that the only way they had been able to express themselves was when adrenaline was pumping.

After a moment’s pondering, Zuko was interrupted by Sokka.  
“Hey lord jerkbender.” Sokka wandered into the office, dropping onto Zuko’s lap, holding a letter with the seal of his home tribe on the outside.  
“What?” Zuko scowled, wrapping his arms around Sokka.  
“I just got this letter from my dad, it’s a bit weird. I think he’d in love with Bato? And he wants my advice about it?” The paper was thrust in front of Zuko’s face, and he squinted to read the words on the page. After skimming the letters, Zuko smiled and laughed softly, receiving a confused look from Sokka. He picked up the letter from Bato and handed it to Sokka, who read the entire thing in an instant.  
“They’re as bad as us. All that pining, it can’t be healthy.” Sokka laughed.

“What should we say?”  
“Why don’t we write back to both of them, with the words ‘Just kiss already’ on the page?” Sokka joked, but Zuko could tell it wasn’t entirely a jest.  
“That wouldn’t have worked for us.” Zuko rested his head on Sokka’s shoulder, his chin fitting perfectly in the groove of Sokka’s shoulder.  
“No, but maybe it’ll work for my dad-oh ew, that’s weird.” Sokka pulled a face, feigning sickness and retching.  
Zuko laughed heartily, squeezing Sokka a little tighter. “You know I think Bato really loves him.”  
“You’d know about that, wouldn’t you?”  
“How about what?”  
“Falling in love with a Southern Water Tribe chief’s family member.”  
“Are you saying I’m in love with you?” Zuko asked carefully, wanting to make sure his words were clear.  
“Well,” Sokka gulped audibly and turned to face Zuko. “I hope you are.”  
Sokka’s eyes were wide and Zuko could see his own reflection in them. He felt his heart pumping against his chest, his stomach was in knots and he played Sokka’s words over and over again.  
“ ‘Ko?” Sokka said, voice full of worry as the silence. Zuko was startled by the new shortened version of his name, he’d had Zuzu before, but never this. He exhaled heavily, and a smiled squeezed his cheeks.  
“I love you Sokka.”  
“I love you too.”


	22. Thrown off your rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko faces something he's been dreading for a long time

Sokka had gone home for three weeks, homesickness disguised as a diplomatic mission. Zuko missed him terribly, but they both knew that this was always going to be a part of their relationship. And Zuko also knew that the South Pole was still Sokka’s home, and that he couldn’t ever force his boyfriend to leave his birthplace forever. Sokka wrote as soon as he had arrived back in the icy landscape, and Zuko replied almost instantly, even if it took a couple of days to arrive. He longed for a way to be able to talk to Sokka instantly, hoping that one day they wouldn’t have to wait for a response. 

In his office, Zuko was studying the plans Sokka had made for the new city they were building, trying to make sense of the scribbles and notes all over the paper. The work had been divided between the two of them, Aang, and Suki, as well as other friends of theirs from across the world. Education, housing, economics, culture, government, and transport all had to be considered, everything had to work together, and that was what Sokka was doing. Taking the plans and designs from everyone else and adapting them into a city that would work for everyone. Zuko was amazed at Sokka’s ingenuity that oozed out of the papers, but by agni, he could not make sense of it. Sighing heavily, he leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms up and flicking sparks into the air. He was tired and he missed his boyfriend. 

“Excuse me my lord, you have a visitor.” A servant interrupted him, and he turned around to see his sister leaning on the door frame.  
“’Zula!” Zuko jumped up and hugged her tightly, he hadn’t seen her in ages and wasn’t expecting her back so soon. “What are you doing here?”   
They sat down on the couch in his office, sending the servant off to get them some tea.   
“I wasn’t expecting you home? I didn’t miss a letter or anything?” He panicked. Azula shook her head, and a forlorn expression fell over her face. “And I assume you don’t have good news.”   
“Zuko, it’s been seven years and we still haven’t found her. I’ve been around the world three times over and nothing has changed. I just think that by now we would, you know, have something…”  
The tea arrived and Zuko poured for them, thinking about what she had said. He hated to admit it, but he knew that she was right.   
“Are we sure there’s not some unexplored island in the middle of the ocean that she’s not hiding on?”  
“Zuzu, I really don’t think so. I don’t think we’re going to be able to find her. And I’m tired, I’m tired of never staying anywhere too long and I’m tired of every lead ending in failure.”   
“I know what it’s like, I really understand. You don’t have to carry on anymore, not if you don’t want to.” He said softly, heart sinking into his stomach, even though he knew what really had to happen. “Maybe it’s time to let her find us, if she’s not,” He gulped. “You know…”   
“I think you’re right, the world has changed since she disappeared, we’ve both changed. Maybe she’d feel like she could come back.” Azula sipped her tea, blowing the steam away. “I really don’t want to give up, but it’s been so long. We haven’t had a new lead or plan or anything in months, probably years.”   
An idea popped into Zuko’s head, an idea which he hated and wished he’d never thought of, but he also knew it might be a final chance. “Why don’t we ask dad?”   
“He’s not going to help, he hasn’t in nearly a decade, why would he say anything now?”   
“I don’t know but it’s worth a try?”  
“I guess if you want to, but I just want to move on, Zuzu.”   
“We can talk about this another time. How’s June? Still travelling with her?” He remembered how much Azula had gushed about her in her last letter, but Azula shook her head forlornly.   
“No, we parted ways near Omashu. I think we wanted different things from life. She was also a bit too old for me. But, how are you and Sokka doing? I thought I’d have seen him by now.” She smiled cheekily.   
“He’s at home at the moment, should be back in a few days. I’m not going to lie sis, it’s amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.” Zuko beamed, blushing a little at his own giddiness.   
Azula laughed softly, “I’m so happy for you. You really deserve it.”   
They talked for hours more, and Zuko told her about the plans for Republic City, and she told him about the places she’d seen on her travels. With all her knowledge of the world, he made a mental note to ask her if she’d want become part of the council they were considering setting up. She’d seen how people lived around the world, how the nations worked and what could be brought from each of them to make the best metropolis possible. 

The evening grew and the lamps were lit outside, casting a soft glow through the windows in the palace. It was a warm night and Azula and Zuko stayed up late, as terrible as some of their history was, they were always going to be brother and sister. By the time he went to bed, Zuko was exhausted but he’d almost realised how much he missed seeing her. Perhaps it would be good to have her back, maybe she’d make the palace feel less empty. Even with Sokka there it was still a large place, full of hollow rooms and dark corridors. 

Stood at the Fire Nation harbour, the wind was whipping through Zuko’s hair and blowing his robes out behind him. The sun glittered on the water as he waited for Sokka’s ship to appear around the headland. Soon, the blue and white of the boat’s sails came into view, the sun shining through them. Zuko thought he could see Sokka stood at the helm, but his sight wasn’t that good.   
The boat docked and Sokka practically jumped off the ship into Zuko’s arms.   
“Oh I missed you.” Sokka kissed him intensely. Zuko kissed back, arms wrapped around Sokka’s waist, feeling his body beneath his hands.   
“Ahem.” Azula coughed, surprising the both of them. Sokka blushed and then dashed towards her, pulling her into a tight hug.   
“’Zula!”   
“Hi Sokka.” She reluctantly hugged back, before pushing him. “That’s enough hugging.”   
“It’s been a while.” He shrugged and grabbed his bags of clothes, slinging them over his shoulder. He waved goodbye to the crew, who were leaving for the Earth Kingdom.   
The three walked back to the palace, chatting nonchalantly about what they’d been up to. Zuko knew that Sokka would have to officially report back on his trip in a council meeting, so they avoided talking about work too much. Instead Sokka said how nice it was to be home for a while, he got to spend time with his father and Bato, who were still figuring out their relationship. He also saw Katara and Aang briefly, though they were on their way to stay with Suki. Zuko could tell that he loved going home, and it worried him that Sokka would never be fully settled in the Fire Nation capital. 

Once they were back at the palace, Azula disappeared off to her wing of the palace, leaving the men alone while Sokka unpacked.   
“I really missed you.” Zuko flopped into a chair and pouted at his boyfriend.   
Sokka pouted back and threw a bundle of fabric at him. “I got you something.”   
Zuko unwrapped the package, dropping the fabric to the floor, revealing a tiny yet ornately carved white dagger. It glistened and glittered in the light, shadows fell into the crevices, highlighting the designs along the handle and blade.   
“Oh my spirits, it’s beautiful.” It was almost weightless in his hand, and it felt too fragile to hold, but he knew that it was ivory and was almost strong enough to cut rocks. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”   
“I saw it and thought of you.” Sokka shrugged, folding tunics and kimonos.   
“Deadly yet beautiful?” Zuko laughed, turning the blade in his hands.   
“Something like that.” Sokka smiled and dropped his packing to sit on Zuko’s lap. He kissed Zuko, running his fingers through his long black hair. Zuko kissed back, his hands softly holding Sokka’s face, feeling his stubble from days of not shaving beneath his skin. Three, nearly four, weeks didn’t seem like a long time, but Zuko had been yearning for Sokka’s touch for the entire time. This was fiery and adoring, it was two fortnight’s worth of missed kisses and embraces, and soon Sokka was carrying Zuko to the bed.   
“Wait.” Zuko suddenly said, fingers hovering on top of Sokka’s belt.   
“What?”   
“I thought I heard Azula outside.” Zuko said, squinting at the door.   
“I didn’t hear anything.” Sokka replied, trying to get Zuko’s attention back. “Why’s she back anyway?”   
Zuko turned back to Sokka, seeing how he was biting his lip and gazing at him. He seemed to forget everything and his heart fluttered. “I’ll tell you later.” Zuko whispered, pulling Sokka into a kiss. 

Later, Zuko was curled up against Sokka’s body. His head resting on Sokka’s chest, his fingers tracing over the tattoos under his skin. Occasionally he’d feel a bump from where a scar had healed, and although they were from a time when they’d been on opposing sides, it made Zuko remember that they’d both lived through the war; that he wasn’t the only one with scars; it saddened him but it was also grounding.   
“Hey, that tickles.” Sokka’s skin tingled.   
“Sorry.” Zuko laughed lightly and put his hand down.   
“So, why is Azula back? She hasn’t found your mother, has she?”   
“No, but we’ve had a talk about that.” Zuko swallowed, saying it out loud suddenly made it more real. “She thinks we should stop searching, and I do agree, mostly. After so many years of looking without success, it’s getting to us.”   
“I understand.” Sokka rubbed Zuko’s back, comforting him.   
“But I did have an idea.”   
“Ideas? Are you stealing my one and only talent?” laughed Sokka.   
“Oh you have plenty of talents.” Zuko replied cheekily, kissing Sokka’s neck lightly. “But no, I was thinking that we still should tell dad about us, and maybe we can ask him when we’re down there. It might, I don’t know surprise him, catch him off guard.”   
“Does this mean another trip to the Boiling Rock?” 

Flying over the sea to the isolated prison, Zuko felt more nervous with every flap of Druk’s huge wings. He’d realised that this might be one of the last chances to get answers about his mother. His father was an old man now, weak and feeble. Without his firebending, he’d seemed to age rapidly, like it was the fire inside that was keeping him alive. Zuko also knew that they couldn’t continue searching for Ursa much longer. Azula had every right to want to stop, she’d put her life on hold for six years to search for someone who, as much as Zuko hated to admit it, always preferred him. She hadn’t been the perfect mother, but after all this time they both wanted some answers. 

“Remember last time we went to the Boiling Rock?” Sokka leaned over the side of Druk’s saddle, watching the ocean swirl below.   
“You mean the only time?” Zuko turned around, smirking at Sokka.   
“It’s not like we make it a habit to visit prisons.”   
Silence fell. Zuko sat at the front of the dragon, holding the reigns and guiding the beast through the air. Sokka lay back on the saddle, sighing heavily. “Pretty clouds.” He said, and Zuko stifled a giggle.   
“Yeah, fluffy.” Zuko replied, remembering their horrendously awkward conversation on the war balloon. A beat of silence drummed between them before they both burst into fits of laughter. They were thinking back to their teenage years of gawkishness and it was hilarious. That conversation, on the way to the Boiling Rock, was outrageously stupid.   
“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” Sokka said between laughs.   
“That’s rough, buddy.” Zuko wheezed. Although he was ashamed of a fair bit of his childhood, that always made him laugh. “Hey, we’re nearly there.” He said as the steam from the scalding lake came into view. 

“Your highness, Ambassador Sokka, welcome to the Boiling Rock.” The warden greeted them, and Zuko immediately knew they’d added extra guards and security for their visit. “We received your letter, and your father is in his cell. Can I interest you in a tour of the prison before we take you down there?”   
Zuko and Sokka exchanged a glance, they knew exactly what the prison was like and that they would definitely see a perfected version.   
“No, thank you. We don’t want to stay too long.” Zuko replied, and the warden lead them down a dark and narrow staircase, lit only by the occasional torch on the wall.   
Heavy metal gates were opened, keys were clicked in locks and they descended into the heart of the rock. Eventually they reached a heavy door at the end of a corridor. The warden pulled out an iron key and turned it in the lock. The door creaked open too reveal a dimly lit room, split by iron bars behind which a hooded figure sat, playing Pai Sho by himself.   
He didn’t say anything at the three walked in, but his body shifted, seemingly acknowledging their presence.   
“Warden, you can leave us.” Sokka said. Zuko was silent, it was a lot to see his father. It had been at least three years since he’d actually been to visit. It brought back a whole catalogue of emotions and he couldn’t bring himself to speak just yet.   
“I don’t think I should.” Said the Warden nervously.   
“I think you should.” Sokka said carefully, glancing at his boyfriend. The warden nodded and left, leaving the three of them alone in the room. 

Silence echoed around the small room; only heavy breaths could be heard. Zuko felt Sokka’s hand slip into his, he squeezed it tightly and pulled away. He knew his father would latch onto anything he though was a weakness and didn’t want to give the game away so soon.   
“I see the Firelord has graced me with his presence. What did I do to deserve this honour?” Ozai snarled, not looking up from the Pai Sho tiles.   
Zuko breathed out heavily, seeing Sokka lean against the wall behind him. “Hello father.”   
“Zuko, I hope you’re here with good news, you know it gets awfully boring down here.”   
“It’s been three years since I last came to see you. I honestly think my life has been better for it, but it seems that Azula and I have to ask you one more time. Where is she? Where did you send her?” Zuko’s heart was racing, he’d been practising this speech I the mirror before they left, not wanting to get it wrong or stumble in front of his father   
“So, it’s come to this. She’s probably dead by now, the world is a dangerous place for a woman on her own.” Ozai’s head snapped upwards, and his piercing eyes seemed to stare into Zuko’s soul. Zuko stared back, unflinching, knowing he was a better man that his father.   
“We’ve been here before, but I don’t think we’re ever going to be here again. So, what do you know?” He stepped closer to the bars, behind which his father had stood up, kicking the game pieces out of the way. They were now the same height, perhaps Zuko was even taller. He didn’t look meekly up at his father anymore; he could stare him right in the eyes.   
“You’ve been quiet.” Ozai looked away from Zuko and over to Sokka, who was still lurking in the darkness. “Don’t have anything to say, Aang?”   
Zuko gasped at his father mistook Sokka for the Avatar. Sokka stepped out of the shadows, the light from the torches descended on his face.   
“Sorry, were you expecting someone else?” said Sokka lightly, he crossed his arms and stood firmly, like he was grounding himself before an attack.   
“Oh, it’s you. The little water tribe boy who can’t even bend. What are you, Zuko’s bodyguard?” Ozai mocked and Zuko braced himself for an onslaught from Sokka.   
“Zuko, remind me, who was it who took out an entire Fire Nation fleet? Who planned the only successful escape from this agni-forsaken rock?” Zuko knew that the taunt in Sokka’s voice would rile up his father.   
“I think it was you?”   
“Yes, that’s right. It was me.” Sokka stared at Ozai, and for the first time ever, Zuko saw his father break eye contact.   
“Well,” His voice cut through the dark. “I didn’t realise I was in the presence of such brilliance. Please, accept my apologies.” Ozai sneered, bowing with contempt. Zuko felt Sokka’s anger bubbling and he interjected before his boyfriend burst with fury.   
“Listen, this is your last chance to help. Your final chance to make the right decision, to do the decent thing.”   
“Why should I? Information is expensive, what do I get?”   
“You get to know that your whole life hasn’t been an entire waste of time.” Sokka snapped, his temper subsiding. 

Suddenly, an idea crept into Zuko’s head. He didn’t know if it would work, but they were running out of options.   
“I know how much you love ceremony and our great nation’s traditions. I am asking about mother because I would like one of my parents at my wedding.” He glanced at Sokka, who understood what the plan was and gave a knowing look in return.   
“Wedding? Well, that changes everything. Who’s the unlucky lady? Mai, I hope.” Ozai seemed genuinely surprised at Zuko’s news.   
“Actually,” Zuko exhaled heavily, closing his eyes for a moment to muster up the courage to tell his father the truth. He wasn’t ashamed of Sokka, nor did he fear his father anymore, but it was still hard to voice. “I’ll be marrying Sokka.” He took his boyfriend’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Sokka squeezed it back, reassuring Zuko that he was there.   
“Well, that is…different. It’s not very…traditional.” Ozai stammered, thrown completely at the news and Zuko saw the moment to strike.   
“Where. Is. She?”   
“I…I don’t know! I never did! Once she left I didn’t care!” Ozai blurted, looking rapidly between Sokka and Zuko; his eyes widening as Sokka planted a sloppy kiss on Zuko’s cheek, making him blush. But his brief smile was thrown off his face as he heard his father’s words. He knew they were honest; he knew in his heart that this was the truth and that they had officially run out of leads for their mother’s whereabouts. It hurt, but he also knew that this day was bound to come in the end. Sokka squeezed his hand and they smiled softly at one another. In the dark cell, the two young men stood proudly, facing the weak and mad old Firelord, locked behind bars that he’d never leave. 

“Goodbye father, if this is the last time, just know, the world is better place now, and the Fire Nation is prospering. You failed, and for that I thank you, because without you, I never could have eradicated all of your horrible and abusive practices.” Zuko’s voice was measured and careful.   
“Doesn’t sound very prosperous if you’re marrying a non-bender from a tiny water tribe.” Ozai spat.   
“Sokka is ten times the man you’ll ever be, and I love him a thousand times more than I ever loved you.” Zuko slammed the door behind him, turning to face Sokka who was stood in the corridor, having left Zuko and Ozai alone for a moment. The couple hugged each other tightly, Sokka comforting Zuko after the disappointment about his mother. Zuko leaned into the embrace, resting on Sokka body and feeling the warmth of his embrace. 

“Did you really mean that?” Sokka asked as they departed from the prison.   
“Mean what?” Zuko asked. He was leaning against Sokka in the saddle, their hands intertwined. Druk knew the way home and could fly without guidance, so Zuko was free to snuggle with his boyfriend.   
“That you love me a thousand times more than you loved your dad?”  
“Yeah, I really did.”   
“You’re such a romantic.” Sokka kissed him on the forehead, before Zuko’s head dropped sleepily into Sokka’s lap, his eyes closing.   
“Mhmmm. I love you.” He mumbled, the day had tired him out and he wanted to sleep through the flight.   
“I love you too. So, when’s the real wedding?” He joked quietly, stroking Zuko’s hair. Zuko smiled and closed his eyes, drifting like a cloud out of consciousness.   
“Maybe in a year or two.” Zuko mumbled softly, before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long


End file.
